Trying to track down a mate

conf101

Not really sure where is the best place to post this so I'm putting it here but feel free to move it if there's somewhere more appropriate.

I'm a bit worried about a mate of mine who lives in Germany (I'm in Ireland) whom I can't get in touch with.

I met this guy 5 years ago when I was studying in Germany and we became good mates. Since I came home (2007) we've been pretty good at keeping in contact. We'd email/text every so often and skype every few months. We've stayed good mates but it wouldn't be unusual for 2/3 months to pass without contact.

This guy has had a pretty tough life and has suffered pretty badly with depression. There's no need for details here but it's been a part of his life since well before I got to know him.

For the past while I've been trying to get in contact with him through emails, texts and calls but there's been no response. Like I said, a few months without contact wouldn't be unusual but not getting a response is very unusual. I don't know any of his mates in Germany but I have been in touch with the other mutual friends we have, one in Ireland, one in Israel and one in the US, and none of them have heard from him in over a month. I am trying to get contact info for a few people who know him in Germany, although I don't know if they still hang out with him or not.

I don't want to be jumping to any sort of conclusions but because of his history of depression I am starting to get worried.

My problem now is I don't know where to go to find out if something's happened or to get in touch with him. I have no contact info for his family but he had fallen out with them before we met so they might not be able to help even if I could contact them. I've spoken to our only mutual friends and now I don't know where to go.

I've also googled him to see if his name turned up in any news stories (seems a bit drastic but you never know) but got nothing.

Just wondering if anyone could suggest anything I could try to see if something's happened or to try and track him down?

Cheers for any help

silly

Does he have fb?

conf101

He has a FB profile but almost never uses it. The most recent comment on there is from about 3 weeks ago. And he never uses FB mail.

dafunk

If he's prone to depression he could be in a hole and and not feeling up to chatting to people. Have you just sent general messages? Ie how are things, whats news etc or have you actually texted him to say you are worried. Have you called? If so, was the phone off or did it ring out? If it is ringing out then he is probably just not answering, don't take it personally, this could be down to a depressive bout. If I was you I would text (if his phone is on) and say, straight up "I'm worried, please reply to let me know if you're ok". If he realises his friends are concerned he'll likely reply at which point you can try to figure out what's going on with him. If his phone is off or you get no response it's hard to know what to do. If you are enormously concerned for his safety it might be an idea to ring his local Garda station ad ask them to call around to see if he's ok but I guess you're stepping into dangerous territory there, if everything is fine and he's just wanting to lay low he mightnt be too impressed. Has he ever ceased contact before?

conf101

Thanks for the reply dafunk.

I've sent a bunch of general messages but nothing specifically to say I'm worried, perhaps that's the next step.

His phone is on and just ringing out. If he is just laying low then that's cool with me, I don't take it all personally and I'm not offended. I'm just trying to figure out if that's it or if there's something more to be worried about.

Contacting his local Garda station isn't so simple as he's German, not living in Ireland.

And he's never ceased contact before, which is why this is so strange.

Miaireland

Might be worth contacting the German Embassy here. They might be able to find out who or where to contact in Germany.

JellyBeans123

conf101 wrote: »

Thanks for the reply dafunk.

I've sent a bunch of general messages but nothing specifically to say I'm worried, perhaps that's the next step.

His phone is on and just ringing out. If he is just laying low then that's cool with me, I don't take it all personally and I'm not offended. I'm just trying to figure out if that's it or if there's something more to be worried about.

Contacting his local Garda station isn't so simple as he's German, not living in Ireland.

And he's never ceased contact before, which is why this is so strange.

Well if this is the case, then his phone must have been charged up so it is likely that he is still out there, and perhaps doesn't feel up to talking to people. Try not to worry too much, but if you're still uneasy, just continue trying to track him down.

Carriexx

If his phone is on i would say hes ok - no-ones battery would last that long without being re-charged. Maybe hes just trying to work out things for himself and needs some time

conf101

Yep, the phone being on is making me worry less.

Would still like to get in contact just to be sure and to see if there's anything I can do to help.

Thanks for all responses

qwertytlk

Hi,a if his phone is on then at least you know he is charging it, which means he is at least still around and hasn't tried to harm himself or anything.
I have been depressed myself in the past and i remember having a really bad turn for a Few weeks where i was so bad and so down i just couldn't do anything. I mean i literally sat at home alone and didn't answer the door or phone for about 3 weeks. I just couldn't face it... So your friend could be going through something like this.

I would send a text telling him your worried and understand he may be going through a bad patch but tell him your there if he wants to talk and ask that he replies to just let you know he is ok.,
hope he gets in touch soon and that he.s ok.,

conf101

Thanks for all the replies guys. I've managed to track him down. He's going through quite a rough time but is doing ok.

Taltos

Thanks for the update OP - as you have tracked down your friend and resolved your initial issue will go ahead and close this thread.

Taltos