Is it time to move on?

LegacyUser

Hi I'm hoping for a bit of good advice, in short I've been seeing someone on and off for a year and most of it has been good apart from his refusal to commit to a relationship.
I told him on Friday that it's going on too long and I'd had enough-he got quite upset about it and begged me to change my mind.
When he was leaving he was really sad and I told him I would like to do it properly and to think about it which he agreed to do.

Now it's been three days and no contact at all, I'm just wondering if it's time to forget about him and move on. Surely after a year it isn't that hard to decide if you want a relationship or not?
My head is wrecked waiting for an answer and I'd just prefer him to say no rather than this!

Thanks for reading I really needed to share

I am a friend

Hon he is saying no by not saying yes.... Sorry

Ickle Magoo

You gave him a year of your life to decide if he wants to be in a relationship or not? A year?! Is it time to move on? Most definitely yes.

Flapping around for a year claiming you don't know if you want to be in a relationship, followed by ignoring them for three days is not the behaviour of someone who ever intended on making it official. Get rid and next time if it's a relationship YOU want, set a time-line within the first few months and if he hasn't the enthusiasm you have, walk away then.

All the best.

dellas1979

Ah yes you are holding on to that old friend/foe called hope.

There is nothing wrong with having hope, but look you've been doing the same thing for the last year, and nothing has changed. Fair play to you for calling him on it.

Move on and make in your head that it is the right thing for YOU to do.

LegacyUser

Hi all op here, thank you for the replies. We had a brief text chat this morning (started by me of course!) I asked him straight out with no reply and then again after a couple of hours still with no reply.

In a way I'm delighted as its really shown me how selfish and immature this man is that he can't just give me a straight answer. Makes it much easier to walk away with no regrets.

One day I'll cringe at myself for being so stupid!!!! Thanks again x

curlzy

sfedupofwaiting wrote: »

Hi all op here, thank you for the replies. We had a brief text chat this morning (started by me of course!) I asked him straight out with no reply and then again after a couple of hours still with no reply.

In a way I'm delighted as its really shown me how selfish and immature this man is that he can't just give me a straight answer. Makes it much easier to walk away with no regrets.

One day I'll cringe at myself for being so stupid!!!! Thanks again x

OP, print this off and put it over your bed so you are reminded to never again put up with this kind of b*ll**** from a man. You sold yourself way too short on this occasion, never do it again. And yes you will cringe, putting up with that kind of thing is shameful, never ever do it again.

Miss Fluff

sfedupofwaiting wrote: »

Hi all op here, thank you for the replies. We had a brief text chat this morning (started by me of course!) I asked him straight out with no reply and then again after a couple of hours still with no reply.

In a way I'm delighted as its really shown me how selfish and immature this man is that he can't just give me a straight answer. Makes it much easier to walk away with no regrets.

One day I'll cringe at myself for being so stupid!!!! Thanks again x

OMG girl, how pathetic is he?! He won't even have the balls to come out with it, what kind of guy does that make him? He'll be in touch when he realises he's missing the sh1ts and giggles but please for goodness sake draw a line now once and for all and move on, you've wasted enough time on him and he's clearly not worthy. I'm glad you have your answer now. Yes, you probably will look back and cringe but you'll also learn things from this and it will hopefully define for you what you will and won't put up with in future! Delete delete delete!

rainbows7

Excellent advice sunflower. You just motivated me to do same:)

I am a friend

sfedupofwaiting wrote: »

We had a brief text chat this morning (started by me of course!) I asked him straight out with no reply and then again after a couple of hours still with no reply.

Please dont contact him again... I wouldnt give him the ego boost....

A0

sofedupofwaiting wrote: »

Hi I'm hoping for a bit of good advice, in short I've been seeing someone on and off for a year and most of it has been good apart from his refusal to commit to a relationship.
I told him on Friday that it's going on too long and I'd had enough-he got quite upset about it and begged me to change my mind.
When he was leaving he was really sad and I told him I would like to do it properly and to think about it which he agreed to do.

Now it's been three days and no contact at all, I'm just wondering if it's time to forget about him and move on. Surely after a year it isn't that hard to decide if you want a relationship or not?
My head is wrecked waiting for an answer and I'd just prefer him to say no rather than this!

Thanks for reading I really needed to share

I've read your posts but just for future reference... this is not a relationship, in a relationship you don't "see someone on and off", otherwise it's called close friendship :rolleyes:. Don't wait for a year next time. Also, you never know what people do when they are in the "off" side of the relationship...

GirlWithBrain

OP, I read your post and cringed. For myself. Was in a similar position a year ago only I didn't know my other half still saw me as someone he was "meeting". If I'd known I'd've liked to think I had the courage you did to force him on it so WELL DONE YOU! It may be tough but you deserve someone who appreciates you and someone who thinks it's ok to not be in a relationship after a year is not worthy of your time.

LegacyUser

Hi op again, just wanted to tell all the great people who replied how the story ended....he eventually replied to say he didn't want a relationship as he wasn't into the whole dating thing!!! Then he had the cheek to ask could we hook up a few times a week as he's not interested in anyone else....as if I'm supposed to be happy with that!
Of course I said no and he hasn't spoken to me since. Sad really.

Thanks for the replies I was close to changing my mind a couple of times so I read them again and it helped me be strong! Take care xx

Maple

Best of luck OP, I hope you find someone more deserving in the future.

Thread closed.

Maple