Toddler sleep training...

nesf

The little one is going through yet another phase of refusing to sleep at a reasonable time (she's still up).

Any tips/advice/etc? What worked with her brother doesn't seem to work with her at all (i.e. put into cot and leave her go to sleep herself).

Simtech

nesf wrote: »

The little one is going through yet another phase of refusing to sleep at a reasonable time (she's still up).

Any tips/advice/etc? What worked with her brother doesn't seem to work with her at all (i.e. put into cot and leave her go to sleep herself).

We found routine is essential with both of ours. Daily routine should be as reliable as possible for her. We always had dinner, bathed and put them down at the same time. (Bed for 7/7:30.) When they were 12 weeks we put them in their own room and toughed it out through the crying for a few nights. Have had restful nights for the most part since. I would say you can't overemphasise the importance of routine. Kids need to be sure of where they stand. That's what worked for us, that's all I can say really. I feel for you.

Moonbeam

How old is she?

nesf

Moonbeam wrote: »

How old is she?

2 towards the end of this month.



Simtech, she's seemed impervious to routine since she was a baby, at best we get a week or two of her set in one night routine and then she goes out of it again. Her day routine is very fixed, so that isn't a problem.

January

Simtech wrote: »

We found routine is essential with both of ours. Daily routine should be as reliable as possible for her. We always had dinner, bathed and put them down at the same time. (Bed for 7/7:30.) When they were 12 weeks we put them in their own room and toughed it out through the crying for a few nights. Have had restful nights for the most part since. I would say you can't overemphasise the importance of routine. Kids need to be sure of where they stand. That's what worked for us, that's all I can say really. I feel for you.

You let a twelve week old cry it out?? Jesus... even Ferber doesn't recommend it until at least 4 months...

How about the no cry method? You sit with her until she falls asleep, then the next night sit a little away, then next night a little further, then out the door with door open so she can see you, then out the door with door closed over so she can't see you?? Have you got a safety gate on her door? I used this with my nearly 3 year old, I tell her I'll be back to check on her, close the gate (but leave the door open, we never got to the closing door stage, I do that when she's asleep!) and go off to do some things, like clean the bathroom or tidy the bedroom... She chats away to me sometimes but is always asleep within about 10 minutes, 15 on a bad night....

Simtech

Yeah, what can I say other than we had no idea what we were doing. It may not be what is advisable but it worked and they did sleep through thereafter every night. I've never heard of Ferber and I'm not sure I would have done it differently if I had tbh. I feel for ya OP.

Rosy Posy

Try 'The No Cry Sleep Solution' by Elizabeth Pantley It has lots of different ideas and something will hopefully work for you. Best of luck!

nesf

Rosy Posy wrote: »

Try 'The No Cry Sleep Solution' by Elizabeth Pantley It has lots of different ideas and something will hopefully work for you. Best of luck!

Thanks, picked it up on Kindle. Might give it a read tonight interspersed with another chapter from "Selfish Reasons to have more kids" which is quite an interesting book.

Dboy85

My partner and I followed this book religiously. We started when they were around 6 weeks old but the general principal is spaced soothing by both parents so the nipper knows that both of ye are on the same page.That is vital because my partner used to want to comfort him/her so the nipper used to cry until mammy would go to her. To combat that both have to be one unit. Obviously you'd check for any problems on the first visit such as breathing, temperature and wet pants/bed.

Our interpretation was to let the child cry for a fixed amount of time, 15 minutes or until you think the cry is distress. Go in to him/her and lie them down and pull up their covers and leave. No talking, holding or lights. Do just enough to calm them down and leave the room for another 15 minutes. Take turns with your partner if you can so baby knows that both of you want him/her to sleep. We had to do this for 1 week with our son and 2 weeks for our daughter. Now they ask to go to bed and sleep for 12 hours, 7-7, so I can vouch that it works. My sister has 6 kids and followed the same book to the same results. The older the child the longer it takes to see results but be vigilant and you'll be grand.

Its the same technique we used to drop the night feed for anyone still giving night feeds.

All the best

nesf

Dboy85 wrote: »

My partner and I followed this book religiously. We started when they were around 6 weeks old but the general principal is spaced soothing by both parents so the nipper knows that both of ye are on the same page.That is vital because my partner used to want to comfort him/her so the nipper used to cry until mammy would go to her. To combat that both have to be one unit. Obviously you'd check for any problems on the first visit such as breathing, temperature and wet pants/bed.

Our interpretation was to let the child cry for a fixed amount of time, 15 minutes or until you think the cry is distress. Go in to him/her and lie them down and pull up their covers and leave. No talking, holding or lights. Do just enough to calm them down and leave the room for another 15 minutes. Take turns with your partner if you can so baby knows that both of you want him/her to sleep. We had to do this for 1 week with our son and 2 weeks for our daughter. Now they ask to go to bed and sleep for 12 hours, 7-7, so I can vouch that it works. My sister has 6 kids and followed the same book to the same results. The older the child the longer it takes to see results but be vigilant and you'll be grand.

Its the same technique we used to drop the night feed for anyone still giving night feeds.

All the best

It sounds just like a minor variation of the Ferber Method, which my wife doesn't like. Thanks though.

TooManyDogs

We're just coming off the end of a sleep battle. My little one is 22 months and was teething for about 3 solid months so sleep was a nightmare but now we've twigged that she has been playing Daddy for a bit of a fool and would go down happily for me. What we've been doing is stick to a routine, read her books in bed, tell her it was time to go asleep, turn off the lights and close the door. Normally resulted in a major tantrum (tantrum as apposed to being upset because she would stop shouting and screaming long enough to listen to see if we were paying attention)

I don't like the idea of just leaving her to it so what we did was sit outside her closed bedroom door and every couple of minutes tell her we were still there and it was time for bed. The way we figured it was she knew we were still close by but she wasn't getting cuddled to sleep or patted to sleep which is what she wanted. It seems have worked but I'm putting her down now cos she still acts up for my hubby so I want to re-establish the sleeping pattern again

Morag

Sitting on the landing, wow that takes me back, had to do it with both of mine and even with the bedtime play list there was that few months of me having to sit on the landing for 30mins to 45mins most nights. I used to read and tell them to get back into bed as soon as I hear thier foot hit the floor.

nesf

Sharrow wrote: »

Sitting on the landing, wow that takes me back, had to do it with both of mine and even with the bedtime play list there was that few months of me having to sit on the landing for 30mins to 45mins most nights. I used to read and tell them to get back into bed as soon as I hear thier foot hit the floor.

Yeah, it's a bit better nowadays. Sit with a laptop to keep you occupied while you wait them out. We just put an armchair in her room so we can at least be comfortable. She goes nuts if we aren't in the room with her and I mean crying to the point of throwing up. This way takes longer but saves on the mess.

January

Mod Note:
Please do not use abbreviations such as LO, DD etc TooManyDogs.

TooManyDogs

January wrote: »

Mod Note:
Please do not use abbreviations such as LO, DD etc TooManyDogs.

Ok, didn't know not to, sorry! In previous forums I'd been on it seemed like I was the only one who didn't know what the abbreviations meant so I assumed they were everywhere