Is Something Wrong With Me

LegacyUser

Hi

Dunno if anything is wrong or am i just in my own head too much but lately ive been thinking alot about myself and how i am around people and feel that something is just not right with me.

I don't really find enjoyment in much, I can never seem to relax or let go. If I am out with friends I never feel totally at ease, same goes for holidays or even just being at home having a few drinks (before going out, I actually cant just relax and have a few drinks at home with my partner watching tv). I am not a massive drinker anyway but this bothers me, I feel like I am always waiting for something bad to happen even though I know that this is stupid I cant relax in myself.

I have alot of family history that could be a factor in this. My mother is bipolar and my dad is an alcoholic who recently had a stroke. Family members have been sexually abused for years and there are aload of other things too. I am frightened that I won't let myself be fully happy because either I or something will mess it up. My partner is the best in the world and I feel that I am dragging him down, always snapping at him. When he goes out with me I feel like I come accross as a buzz kill.

Should I talk to my GP about this, I would be very worried that I would be prescribed anti-deppressants if I did as I don't feel things are that bad.

Miss Fluff

You poor thing, sounds like some type of anxiety to be honest which is very treatable (not with anti-depressents necessarily) and which you should definitely seek help for.

It sounds like you've had a lot of stuff to contend with and it is bound to end up taking it's toll. You should definitely go and see a good GP and be totally honest with them about how you are feeling (as well as your reservations about anti-d's) and see what they can do to help you.

LegacyUser

OP here,

Thanks guys, actually shaking reading your kind replys and feel like crying, but at work so can't.

@Miss Fluff - I never even thought about anxiety, I was just so worried about deppression that it never crossed my mind but it does kinda make sence.

Its not like i cant function properly, have a laugh or anything as bad as that but I feel that something isn't right with me and I suppose I just have to get the courage to talk to my doc about it (easier said than done). Fingers crossed and thanks to both of ye again

Miss Fluff

Aw you are more than welcome. I'm not a GP so I can't make a diagnosis - there are a whole host of symptoms that fall under the anxiety umbrella and can be treated so easily with everything from beta blockers to CBT. You should have a read up on anxiety and anticipated anxiety. What I'm saying is that with a sympathetic doctor looking after you, you can get treated for this and begin to feel better. It's important to take that step and make an appointment though so do that as soon as you can. Really hope you begin to feel better soon xx

Maple

Wylo, please do not promote your own site here.

Maple

wylo

fair enough, it got me out of that mess , so i just want to pass on the idea thats all.
Ill need to figure out another way of showing people the site!:(

cafecolour

I second the GP/counseling.

I'd also suggest that you make sure you are exercising regularly (something that's aerobically intense and gets your heartbeat up, not just a moderate walk), and make sure you're not eating too much sugar or too much caffeine (i.e. coffee, lots of tea).

These things make a huge difference for TBH. I don't handle caffeine well - a strong cup of coffee makes me anxious and snappy, and I get a lot more negative thoughts if I'm not exercising regularly.

shellyboo

OP, as someone who has suffered from depression and struggles with anxiety I can tell you that it's not an on-off switch... depression is a scale, it can start off as a low-level 'down in the dumps' feeling and get worse, or it may not get worse. The worst thing you can do is feel that you don't deserve help because it's "not that bad". Don't feel guilty, this isn't your fault and you can't control it.

Do go to your GP, as recommended above, but don't rule out medication right off the bat. Sometimes it can be the little push you need to make bigger changes in your life that will make you happier and less anxious overall. Like a helping hand to get you out of a deep hole. Best of luck.