How does one deal with lifelong sexual frustration?

LegacyUser

I am an extremely sexually frustrated and depressed man who has recently just entered his 20's.. I honestly see no hope for me. When I look in the mirror or see a photo I can't help but see the evidence right there that says I am unattractive.. or at least not sufficiently attractive enough to have a satisfying relationship with any woman whom I find attractive.
I have sought reassurance online via posting photos (in fact it became almost an addiction) and have received surprisingly positive and flattering feedback, but the reality is that all these photos are my very best photos and I do not compare to them in person. Some of the women who have given me attention online would be my 'type' too which makes it even more depressing, knowing that they would not be sexually attracted to me in person.

I don't have proper friends, as I isolate myself as a result of my depression (stemming from the hatred of my appearance). I do however have a few male acquaintances, some of whom are considered very attractive, and it kills me seeing/hearing about them being with a new girl almost every weekend. And just in general enjoying their youth. I want to experience that. I should be able to, this is supposed to be a time I can enjoy myself but I know that'll never happen as I am inferior.
I have some good aspects about myself, and one in particular that makes me stand out (which some would say gives an advantage). Really all that means crap though, when someone has relatively high standards like me.

How is one supposed to live like this?? How do people do it??? Knowing that they will never be desired by those whom they find attractive? Forever to be sexually unsatisfied and frustrated? I don't think I can live a lifetime of this tbh....

greenprincess

If you just work on being happy with yourself your confidence will build and confidence is very attractive to a lot of women. Your only in your early 20's its a bit young to be giving up. If you really think your unattractive is there anything you can do like get fit? A new hair cut (you'd be surprised how much that can help)

LegacyUser

The problem here is the depression and how it is distorting your thinking about yourself. If you look around you will see people of all shapes and sizes with every face imaginable who are in happy, healthy relationships. You don't have to be good looking or physically attractive to be in a relationship or to have sex. You do have to be comfortable enough in your own skin (pretty, ugly or in between) to be someone people want to talk to. Your face is the one you have - you need to work on loving yourself face and all. You may never reach the point where you think you are hot stuff but you need to reach the point where you can see that your face doesn't define you. You've gotten good reactions from pics - you need to be able to find the confidence to also see the good in those pics and realize those pics are you.
Your depression and lack of self-confidence probably need some professional help at this point. Putting your self down is not an attractive quality and that will turn people away more than your face. A relaxed, smiling, confident face is an attractive thing, regardless of the skin and bone aspects. Not everyone is attracted to everyone but no one will be attracted to you until you are attracted to yourself. Find that angle you took the pics from that made you look good and work it!

Firetrap

+1 on the get help advice. Are you getting any professional help at the moment for your issues? If not, I'd strongly advise you to do so. It's only when you feel better about yourself that you'll become attractive to the opposite sex.

If you've had attention from posting your photos online, it goes to show that you aren't the elephant man. You should also bear in mind that there is more to attractiveness than looking like Brad Pitt. I know loads of men who aren't classically handsome but are very very attractive.

So, be nice to yourself. Go get help. Get your head into a happier place and you never know what might happen

ILikeBananas

To put it crudely OP even if you are ugly it's a lot easier for ugly men to pull attractive women than the other way around.

mikemac1

You need to work on yourself OP and your confidence

Even if you get a girlfriend you'll be stressing over how you're not enough and convinced that every lad she's talking to is a threat and she is about to make a fool out of you
And you'll just push her away

If you don't like or love yourself why would anyone else? holds a lot of truth

Mindkiller

Sounds like body dysmorphia. You're probably not half as bad looking as you think you are.

Maple

Madrid12, your post has been deleted as it has zero relevance to the topic at hand.

Maple