alzheimer's

cena

What the dirty thing it is. My father has it at the age of 61. Very hard seeing him knowing he doesn't know any of ous

biko

From After Hours

tinkerbell

OP, I'm very sorry to hear that. My grandfather suffered from dementia, it's a horrible illness and very upsetting to everyone

There's a forum here on Long-Term Illness which has a support group thread on dementia/alzheimers which might be useful to you:

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055762891

Scruffles

in the past have lived with a older lady who had alzheimers ontop of global learning disability.
upon moving into that home,it was incredible having seen her talk conversations with people,feed herself,sleep well,not have challenging behavior...,only to become fully low functioning,keeping everyone in the building awake at night because she stopped sleeping and woud open and slam all the doors in her room over and over and over...she got abusive to other people and her cat,needing physical help with eating as she started to choke very easy and forgot how to eat,her speech turning into nothing but mumbling with the ocasional few clear but rather random words.

she had had a daughter when she was younger,who was adopted-she still remembers her daughter and her old cat smudge.
-it actualy took to get to this point of her alzheimers for them to get specialists in dementia/alzheimers involved,she was left sitting in her own piss all the time,the same went for self and another lady as most of the staff coud not give a damn.
they then got a wheel chair for her which speeded up the worsening of her mobility as she moved very little.
she had no family fighting for her, she shoud have been moved to a place which understands her alzheimers as her condition was also severely affecting the rest of us.
sorry if that sounds selfish,but people with other conditions woud be moved if they showed the same behavior and coud be better supported by specialists.
-was personaly told was to challenging and a burden on other residents for that res.home a week after moving in and was being found yet another place by SS,yet they refused to move her saying it isnt fair on her.

there needs to be more support for people with dementia & alzheimers and people indirectly affected by it,mental health shoudnt be dealing with it either,it shoud have a specialist area of its own right as MH are relying on the medical model for dementia/alzheimers; totaly doping up people with it instead of looking at other ways to help them stay as independant as possible.
they also shoud get the care package funding to stay in their own homes as long as possible,with home support staff-they will not get much individual support in a nursing home as there are so many people in elderly homes,it will just regress them further.
that will never happen though,the government is disgustingly stingy as hell when it comes to elderly and disability funding.

its a awful illness,but at least during the more moderate/severe stages they wont have that awareness that people around them do.

LegacyUser

Is there anything he likes to do?
Like was he into Art or certain music or anything?
You can still tap into a person's long term memory when they have Alzheimer's, you just have to find the right way to do it.
I am a student nurse so don't know that much, but was on a brief placement and encountered an Alzheimer's patient and although she wasn't able to communicate with us properly except for the tone of her voice - she only had one word she could use, which was "no", so we listened to the tone of her voice to see what she wanted. So we looked into her background, as in what her job was, if she had any hobbies etc. and it turned out she loved art so we got her some pencils and paper and she was so happy sitting drawing. So even though she was complaining every ten minutes that she hasn't gotten any breakfast, she was content when she had her pencils.
I also came across a woman who was a mother and housewife, so she was given a teddy, just to try her out and she sits in the corner with a smile on her face kissing her "baby" and rocking it and taking care of it, and it makes her happy. And a man who had a dog for years, he now has a teddy dog, who can help content him when he gets restless and agitated.
Or a woman who was a beautician for years, so we asked her would she like he nails painted and her hair done etc (she was no longer able to do it for herself) and it was one of the few times iv seen her smile.
Im very very sorry to hear about your situation, but if you be creative there are still ways that you can make the situation more bearable for you're dad, and in turn for your family

corktina

ive been there, Its very harrowing to lose a loved one and yet have them still there (if that makes sense)

I spent a long time with my Mother telling her my Daughter would be coming to visit her, which got through to her, only to find that when she did arrive, Mum was expecting a little girl instead of a grown woman.So sad.

The worst part really is worrying that they might be frightened ,locked in a world that ,while it may seem familiar, is just not quite reality.

Someone told me that sometimes almost full memory suddenly re-emerges and with my Mother this actually did happen. My Sister and I walked in and she definately remembered us both for the first time in many months and welcomed us, almost as her old self. She died within a week.

LegacyUser

I know exactly how you feel. I've been there, done that, worn the t-shirt. My mam developed it in her late 40s and is still around a decade and a half later. She's in the late Alzheimer's stage now and is in a nursing home. I don't want to turn this post into me me me but I have to say it has truly broken my heart. It hurts that she never got to enjoy life once she'd reared us. She never got to see one of her kids get married, she'll never know she has grandkids. I'm starting to cry as I type this. Usually I manage to numb my feelings and I think this is how I get through everyday life. Sometimes the heartbreak comes through.

I don't know what to say to you really. Is there anything still that can make your dad happy? Music, cats or dogs, small children, toys, ice-cream, cake? You learn to enjoy what little windows of joy this most awful of diseases brings.

Don't forget to look after yourself. Alzheimer's affects close family just as badly as it does the sufferer. I liken it to be being given a young child who's never going to learn anything. So you're having to watch them to make sure they don't wander, they don't eat something they shouldn't, they don't hurt themselves. Do you have anyone to talk to? that's the one thing I found which really really helped. I've a friend who looked after her mother who had the same thing and it helped ever so much. People who don't have first hand experience of it really don't understand at all. They really don't.

cena

iknowwhatyoumean wrote: »

I know exactly how you feel. I've been there, done that, worn the t-shirt. My mam developed it in her late 40s and is still around a decade and a half later. She's in the late Alzheimer's stage now and is in a nursing home. I don't want to turn this post into me me me but I have to say it has truly broken my heart. It hurts that she never got to enjoy life once she'd reared us. She never got to see one of her kids get married, she'll never know she has grandkids. I'm starting to cry as I type this. Usually I manage to numb my feelings and I think this is how I get through everyday life. Sometimes the heartbreak comes through.

I don't know what to say to you really. Is there anything still that can make your dad happy? Music, cats or dogs, small children, toys, ice-cream, cake? You learn to enjoy what little windows of joy this most awful of diseases brings.

Don't forget to look after yourself. Alzheimer's affects close family just as badly as it does the sufferer. I liken it to be being given a young child who's never going to learn anything. So you're having to watch them to make sure they don't wander, they don't eat something they shouldn't, they don't hurt themselves. Do you have anyone to talk to? that's the one thing I found which really really helped. I've a friend who looked after her mother who had the same thing and it helped ever so much. People who don't have first hand experience of it really don't understand at all. They really don't.

He is a home in Dublin and is been looked after. Its hard seeing him as we live in galway. Was put into i mental place during the summer for a month i only went in once as i didn't like the place. I don't have anyone to speak to. I don't want to speak to the family About it. Friends have said i can speak to them he i need to but i don't feet right doing it.

LegacyUser

My mam got admitted to a mental ward at one stage too because she went a bit haywire. That was traumatic for my dad who was her full-time carer.

I found it very hard to talk to people about it for years too and you know what? It didn't help one bit. I now realise that making friends with the woman who was also going through the same thing was the saviour of my sanity. She was so matter of fact about it that it forced me to be too. It has made life so much easier. Now I can generally talk about my mam without breaking down.

I really hope you do find someone that you can talk to when you feel the time is right. We do bottle up a lot of stuff. Too much stuff really.

pixie80

My gran died last year having suffered with it for more than 10 years. She had no idea who I was. My dad and his brothers and sister, she would think they were her own sibling, and it was best to go with what she thought as she could get so frustrated and angry if you tried to tell her she was wrong. Most of the time she was quite peaceful in herself.

Most Alzheimer sufferer will have intact memories like from childhood and growing up etc. My gran could still recite poems and sing songs still knowing every word. What I found the hardest was because I was so young when she first began suffering and I didn’t know what to say to her when I visited nursing home. Conversations topics were limited for me. Sometimes I just sit with her and have tea. Sometimes I would bring old black and white photos and ask her who the people were. Towards the end it was just about being in her company.

It is hard to watch someone you love change before your eyes and you will experience moments of grief as time goes on even though they’re still with you. It is hard in the beginning as you learn to adapt to the situation. The initial stage of Alzheimers is most traumatic as your father will feel very frustrated in what is happening to him. My own gran actually escaped out the window of the nursing home twice in her first week and was found walking down the road in her dressing gown. They had to put a tag on her ankle that would alarm if she tried to get away.

Firetrap

I've lost two family members to it so I know as well as everyone else here just how heartbreaking it is. It's awful to know that there's no hope. You can stem the tide in the early days with the likes of Aricept but I liken that to waves hitting a sandcastle. Eventually the sandcastle dissolves and the sea gets in. The saddest part from a relative's point of view is that over time it gets harder to remember what sort of person your loved one was before they got sick. Especially when they've had Alzheimer's for a long time.

I am a friend

Op if you are looking for advice then the long term illness forum may help you. Sorry to hear about your troubles

cena

pixie80 wrote: »

My gran died last year having suffered with it for more than 10 years. She had no idea who I was. My dad and his brothers and sister, she would think they were her own sibling, and it was best to go with what she thought as she could get so frustrated and angry if you tried to tell her she was wrong. Most of the time she was quite peaceful in herself.

Most Alzheimer sufferer will have intact memories like from childhood and growing up etc. My gran could still recite poems and sing songs still knowing every word. What I found the hardest was because I was so young when she first began suffering and I didn’t know what to say to her when I visited nursing home. Conversations topics were limited for me. Sometimes I just sit with her and have tea. Sometimes I would bring old black and white photos and ask her who the people were. Towards the end it was just about being in her company.

It is hard to watch someone you love change before your eyes and you will experience moments of grief as time goes on even though they’re still with you. It is hard in the beginning as you learn to adapt to the situation. The initial stage of Alzheimers is most traumatic as your father will feel very frustrated in what is happening to him. My own gran actually escaped out the window of the nursing home twice in her first week and was found walking down the road in her dressing gown. They had to put a tag on her ankle that would alarm if she tried to get away.

He too has a tag on him.