Spending xmas on your own

Mrs Garth Brooks

Has anyone ever done it? Is it a sad thing to do even though you have family?

Im thinking about it this year for various reasons. But are they good enough reasons to spend xmas on your own?

I am a student so i get four weeks off. If i go home for xmas and new years, i won't study. I find it hard to study at home, i dont have a desk, i have to sit at the kitchen table with the tv on and people yapping around me. I have projects to do and with three weeks off, i could be very productive with that time. Home is in the middle of no where and there is no internet connection. I could do with the internet for researching.

My second reason is i have a very selfish sister. She always thought the whole world revolved around her. She would make up excuses/arguments just to have a go at me, when the real reason was because she was always jealous of me. We dont speak as her picking fights went on about 18 months, and each time she never apologised when i proved her wrong every time. She is extremely selfish in that whenever im home, she will puff away at fags, fag after fag and blow it in my face knowing that i hate it. I dont smoke.

Another reason is, my mother kills herself looking after three grown men. All year round. She does everything for them, but doesn't expect a penny of them in housekeeping, even though they work. I was living at home over the summer, and it was a different story for me. I had to pay my way and getting way less money. I was on the dole over the summer too. But i just couldnt understand why i never so much as got a spud, while she made the lads dinner and had it ready on the table for them. I always felt i was paying for my brothers as they got everything. While they kept their own money and drank it. Xmas will probably be the same, except xmas day is the only time i ever get a dinner while at home. My mother wants to put herself out for the lads, but never has for me. Why should xmas be any different?

Is it worth spending xmas on our own for an easy and stress free xmas? Its just one day. My housemates will probably be gone home for xmas, so i will probably have the house free. So it will be a very quite house.

Firetrap

Could you not just go home for the day and clear off again? Unless you want to make some sort of statement to your family?

sambuka41

I've done it and survived, actually I really enjoyed it. Initially it was for work reasons, parents down the country and I working in Dublin on Stephen's Day. It depends on what Christmas means to you, Im not that pushed on it, so wasn't a big deal not to be at home. There is something freeing and lovely about creating your own traditions:D I had turkey enchilada's!!! (have kept that up each year since)

Why go out of your way into a situation where you will be annoyed and uncomfortable, and you wont get your work done, stay put is my advice!!!:)

Sarn

As Firetrap pointed out, you could just go down for the day or even a few hours. This wouldn't give much time for rows to break out. Personally, I drop up on Christmas Eve and leave the evening of Christmas Day. I live on my own the rest of the year, so it's no big sacrifice.

LegacyUser

I've done Christmas on my own a few times while living abroad or various circumstances. It's grand, no biggie, just boring.

But what strikes me here is not that you wanna spent Christmas alone but you want to create some drama with your absence; it's your form of a protest. And TBH it seems very passive aggressive. As for the sister, could you just be a grown up and rise above? Set the tone yourself in stead of letting her do it? And the Mammy with the dinners... well it's her choice if she wants to be a doormat for three men. Have you asked her why you are treated differently? I can see how it would bother you and you are certainly entitled to tell her it bothers you, but if you do want to resolve longstanding issues, holding Christmas to ransom is not a very open hearted way to do it.

In reality, most adults follow the advice above and just make a flying visit for Christmas.

So I'd go see the folks and then make a new year's resolution to recognise your own boundaries, not let anyone cross then, and deal with issues when they arise in a calm and emotionally honest way i.e. no passive aggression, just call things for what they are and then get on with it. That's very hard to do, but people react different when you act different. Good luck.

Stheno

I've done it loads through work commitments, it was just a regular day, but I had special food as a treat, planned out my day and had a great time.

Nothing strange about it tbh, my Oh and myself now have his kids every second xmas and make an effort, otherwise we enjoy the quiet, go for a walk at the estuary near us, and just do nothing.

ABajaninCork

I have. And believe me, it was the BEST Christmas I ever had!!

Lounged around in jim-jams all day, cooked a delicious meal, watched loads of telly and DVD's armed with a large box of chocs. Couple of Black Russians and I was off and running.

Imagine - No family rows, no fighting over the remote, and no dressing up! AND you can have a drink if you want.

Sounds like bliss to me...:D

OkayWhatever

For me it would depend how much it meant to my mam.

Like I would LOVE to be by myself with the biggest bar of Galaxy, a big nice bottle of wine and a tv or a few DVDs. But my mam loves having everyone together at Christmas, it's the only day of the year we're all together, so it does mean a lot.

That's just me though, i'm willing to wear a stupid hat all day if it meant it would make my mam happy and get her off my case, because she would go ape if I wasn't going to hers for Crimbo. The abuse would continue for the next 10 Christmas Days!!

If you are going to stay away maybe you should call or something.?

People are going to understand if you don't go, you can't be forced to do something. And you'd prefer to be on your own, so do!

unreggd

OP, it seems like you're not really arsed going

If thats the case, then don't go. Or just go for the day as mentioned

There's no law that says you have to go, and yes, its just any other day, so do what you want to do

Firetrap

anotherperspective wrote: »

But what strikes me here is not that you wanna spent Christmas alone but you want to create some drama with your absence; it's your form of a protest. And TBH it seems very passive aggressive. As for the sister, could you just be a grown up and rise above? Set the tone yourself instead of letting her do it? And the Mammy with the dinners... well it's her choice if she wants to be a doormat for three men. Have you asked her why you are treated differently? I can see how it would bother you and you are certainly entitled to tell her it bothers you, but if you do want to resolve longstanding issues, holding Christmas to ransom is not a very open hearted way to do it.

In reality, most adults follow the advice above and just make a flying visit for Christmas.

I think the need to study is a convenient smokescreen. I don't doubt that you need to study and that your accommodation is a much better place to be. Nobody would quibble with that. Your not going home for Christmas day is your means of making A Statement. By all means don't go home but it's not going to solve anything.

EGAR

I have spent plenty of Xmas' alone. Never bothered me in the least as I like my own company.

Do what is best for your sanity. If you can't stick your family's *antics* then leave them to it and pamper yourself with whatever takes your fancy .