Wait for something to happen?

den87

Just wanted to ask a question to see what other peoples experiences have been.

Been single now for about 5 months (after 4 and a half year relationship) and am not really interested in getting involved with anyone yet. But just wanted to know what success people have had by just waiting for something to happen like just falling for someone or meeting someone random and then getting ito a relationship, or are people going on dating sites looking for someone specific??

Just interested in other peoples views on this.
Thanks.

LegacyUser

Hi - I don't believe in just waiting around for someone. It sounds all fine and well, playing it cool, and I do believe in fate to a certain extent - but honestly, if you put yourself on a desert island would you be likely to meet someone then?

I'm not so sold on dating sites - personally I would like to meet someone who has the confidence to chat to strangers in a social situation, and i think you get a much better first impression of someone in person - i really believe in gut instinct which you cannot get over a computer.

The very best way to meet someone is to get involved. As a nation, we have become less community-orientated over the past few decades so the once normal routes of meeting people - ceilis, even mass - have been eradicated.

There are alot less group-based events, we have become more individual orientated. So if you can, try to get involved in group events - Sports, learn a language, do a cookery course, go travelling in a group, volunteer, anything at all you can, and try to do more than one.
That way it is less forced and there is less pressure, and you will probably benefit in other ways from it too.

But most importantly, you are doing your best to put yourself out there. All you can do is your best - and if you are still single in 20 years time (which i highly doubt) and you did as much as you possibly could to put yourself on the market - to put it crudely, then you won't have as many regrets, because you did your best. Imagine the regrets you would have if you sat around waiting.

Also, I'm not sure if you are male or female, but this applies to both I suppose - be careful how you market yourself. What i mean by this is, if you are going out to niteclubs or even pubs, getting dolled up and getting pissed, you have the potential to attract the wrong type of partner for you. Of course go out, socialise, but I really believe that how you present yourself will determine what kind of attention that you attract.

I know it is awfully cliched - but if you are happy in yourself - truly happy and fulfilled -then you will attract all kinds of wonderful people - friends and potential relationships - no bother to you - it really is the most important thing. Best of luck!

LegacyUser

I've being single over three years after ending a five year relationship so to be perfectly honest in my case I was very much like yourself very happy single and still am! but now that I would like to possibly meet someone its actually quiet difficult actually it sucks!

I have a number of things really! Firstly I struggle personally to give up my own free time to ehhh pursue/date a flirt! I'm used just having to take of little old me that if someone infringes themselves on my own time I nearly resent them for it!! (me wonders why I'm still single like!)

I don't seem to have a problem meeting men nor do I have a problem getting there number or dates if need be but never met anyone long enough for me to eh want to meet or spend time with them again

I have tried online dating but to no real success only to find married men or to the other extreme men that are solely looking for the love of there lifes! I admit we're all there to meet someone but I can't help but question there motives! I want to met someone that wants to be with me not because they feel the need to settle down (not sure if I'm making sense)

I was away recently and come home fcuken pissed off I actually met a man!! that I liked fcuk me the story of my life he's 4000 miles away so SINGLE LIFE IT IS

nicechick!

its early days! so I'd sit back for awhile so don't over think!

den87

Sorry, someAdvice, i'm 24 and male. Should've said.

wivy

do often wonder the same thing myself den87... 5 months out of a rel aswell...
would love to randomly meet a guy who would ask me on a date but has never happened yet and duno if i see it happening... it seems a rarity...

greenprincess

I'd say give it more time. I'm pretty much in the same boat, 23 out of a 4 yr relationship. I'm sure someone will come along to catch your eye when your ready

Ickle Magoo

Hey OP,

I've only ever waited for someone to catch my eye - and I've had three long term relationships. By trying to get over the previous relationship ending, I've made sure to keep myself busy and start new activities and gone out more with friends and sooner or later - when I'm ready - another love interest seems to magically appear.

It's really up to you OP and your own personal circumstances, if you don't have the time or interest in joining clubs and groups or there doesn't seem to be any in your locale then speed dating or internet dating might suit you better but I think the social aspect of just meeting new people and doing new things is good for you even if it doesn't involve any romantic interest, especially when getting used to being single again after a long-term relationship...and new friends means meeting their friends and you automatically increase your social circle and the opportunity to meet someone you do click with.

All the very best! :cool: