Sibling rivaly

LegacyUser

Hey all.

I'm not sure how to start this off. Well I'm the youngest of 3. I have 2 older sisters who I care about very much. There is a 3 year age gap between me and my eldest sister. I'm 23, shes 26. Growing up we were never really that close, would fight a lot like most siblings etc but make up again. These days things have improved in general but it can all kick off between us with a click of a finger. She tries to sometimes tell me what to do treats me like a kid and I freak when she does that and tbh I don't know if we'll ever have a close bond. I get on with my middle sister no problem. She was a tomboy growing up and we used play soccer quite a lot and were good mates and still are. I'd like to improve relations with my eldest sister but when ever we seem 2 disagree with something things can go sour. Just wondering what would be the best way to try and improve our relationship. Any tips would be greatly appreciated.

nicechick!

Its soooo hard!! to let go I mean truly let go of that idea that your actually equipped to make decisions in life she's looking out for you and probably comes across as a bit of a nag let her be! she has an opinion try not let it annoy you the worst thing about family is we will take any criticism/advice personally because we care about there damn opinions! if that were a complete stranger you'd probably take it with a pinch of salt

I found it extremely hard to let go of my wee little sister it took forever I admit I still get really frustrated but learnt to let go its her life! Your older sister will eventually realize this however hard

trust me its as hard on the older sibling as it is you! I don't doubt for one second she knows she's annoying you but I bet its with the best intentions to heart

Neyite

Its just a big sister thing. My big sister is 36 and is still a bossy yoke . We nearly killed each other as teens, didnt talk to each other for most of our twenties, and in our thirties, I just let her yabber on when she starts putting my life to rights and do a bit of an internal :rolleyes:.

My mothers eldest sister is the exact same, and they are in their seventies. They all are sharing a house for a wedding and no-one wants to bunk in with the eldest cos she is bossy and opinionated and drives them cracked. so, it never stops really.

Dont react to her. Use a dose of humour and slag her off instead. I just nod and let it all go over my head when she starts and at the end tell her I will take her considerations on board. If its private stuff she is discussing, she just gets told bluntly that its personal and butt out. Even just looking at her quizzicaly and saying "you do know I'm a grown up and can make decisions all by myself now, I can even tie my own shoelaces and everything" is far better than freaking out.

curlzy

hey,

My lil sis is 9 & 1/2 years younger than me. I think we're actually closer because of the age gap tbh. Like I doted on her from day one and I just love her to bits. I did find the transition from kid to adult strange though. Like she's 20 now but I think I only started seeing her as an adult when she went to college last year. However, I've never been the bossy type, she would always get my advise but only when she asked for it. I remember when it dawned on me that she's actually grown up, it was when she got back from her first nursing placement (she's doing nursing) and was telling me about how she learned to dress wounds and comfort people that are in stages of dementia. It just blew my mind, like in my head she was still my lil baby sis that would come to my room on a saturday morning and say "curlzy, can I get in with you for a cuddle?" SO CUTE! So yeah while I respest her very much as the amazing woman she's become and I certainly don't boss her around I still see her as my lil sister too, that I would quite honestly kill for. So yeah remember that your sister might be doing your nut in but it is coming from a place of love. Maybe do something really different, next time she starts go over and give her a big hug and say "thanks for caring so much, but I'm grown up sweetie and I know what I'm doing". Maybe she'll unclench a little then? Worth a shot anyways.

Best of luck.

LegacyUser

Cheers for the heads up guys. The main reason why it tends to happen I think is cause we are so a like etc, but yet have totally different views on things. Hopefully in time we'll build up a close bound. Just have to see how it goes