Is it pointless?

LegacyUser

I've been with this guy for just over a year now, and while I do really like him, I'm not in love with him. I know he adores me, but that just makes me feel guilty that I don't feel the same. We're long-distance, and I'm finding it difficult. I've found myself looking at other guys and fantasising about my ex recently. I know each relationship goes at its own pace, but after a year shouldn't I be in love? Is this pointless? Am I just going to end up hurting him?

Miss Fluff

ecirti wrote: »

I've been with this guy for just over a year now, and while I do really like him, I'm not in love with him. I know he adores me, but that just makes me feel guilty that I don't feel the same.

Why on earth are you with him then? :eek: If you "really like him" then he's nothing more than a friend. Being with him because he adores you isn't a good enough reason to be involved with him, you can't be that needy surely?

LegacyUser

I like him as more than a friend. I really care about him.

Miss Fluff

Yes but you're checking out other blokes and having fantasies about your ex -your heart obviously isn't in it.

Sliuniav4ik

fantasising about my ex recently

It just shows, that you miss your ex. Or you just miss out on something with your guy.

Try to remember why your ex is actually your "ex" and not your "present".

If there are doubts about your relationship, talk to the guy. See where the conversation will go, and maybe it will be a good idea to either spice things up a little bit, or end it completely.

Bottle_of_Smoke

You're in a tough situation. You feel like you have to justify finishing things with him.

That's why people come out with nonsense like "its not you its me"

Objectively speaking - this won't last and can't last. You're making him happy in the short term but only drawing out the long term pain.

He'll feel like crap for a while then get back on the wagon no matter when you tell him.

BraziliaNZ

God, I'm sure my ex girlfriend could have written the same post a while back. Except she strung me along for 2 years. I was head over heels, but she didn't feel the same, and never did when I look back.
Please let him go, he'll be really hurt but it's for the best.

LegacyUser

finish it with him, he'll hurt but imagine another few months or year down the line,it'd be worse. you're wasting both your time.

Katgurl

Let him go. Some girl will adore him for all the reasons you don't and as you haven't said anything about him being a horrible person, he presumably deserves to be with someone who appreciates him.

I'd hate to be with someone who was lukewarm towards me after an entire year together.

Do the right thing. Break up.