Stale relationship

LaurzH27

I've been going out with my partner for four years. He works away only coming home at the weekend. I work every weekend so we hardly ever get time together. I do love him and care for him. Our relationship is very stale and not very physical. Mostly on my side if I'm honest. I just don't have the desire. We kiss and cuddle all the time.
My family don't like him. This issue is bothering me also. I have no idea what to do with this situation!!! This is my first long term relationship. What usually happens when the spark goes?

nowyouresix

You break up, move on, and chalk it down to experience. Now you would know what you really want, and what kind of relationship suits you !!
Good Luck !

silly

nowyouresix wrote: »

You break up, move on, and chalk it down to experience. Now you would know what you really want, and what kind of relationship suits you !!
Good Luck !

Ah, what about trying to work at it!?
Give up at the first stumble?? Surely not after 4 years?

Miss Fluff

Do you love him and see a future with him or are you not bothered?

LaurzH27

I love him alright. We had planned for the future but since he went away for work- or plans seem unrealistic!!!

LaurzH27

I love him alright. We had planned for the future but since he went away for work- or plans seem unrealistic!!!

LaurzH27

LaurzH27 wrote: »

I love him alright. We had planned for the future but since he went away for work- or plans seem unrealistic!!!

Sorry about the double post!!

LaurzH27

silly wrote: »

nowyouresix wrote: »

You break up, move on, and chalk it down to experience. Now you would know what you really want, and what kind of relationship suits you !!
Good Luck !

Ah, what about trying to work at it!?
Give up at the first stumble?? Surely not after 4 years?

I dunno how I am meant to work at it... Our living situation isn't gonna change anytime soon.

Miss Fluff

LaurzH27 wrote: »

I dunno how I am meant to work at it... Our living situation isn't gonna change anytime soon.

Would either of you be prepared to move? If you want to salvage this then it's going to take work and effort on both your parts.

LaurzH27

Miss Fluff wrote: »

LaurzH27 wrote: »

I dunno how I am meant to work at it... Our living situation isn't gonna change anytime soon.

Would either of you be prepared to move? If you want to salvage this then it's going to take work and effort on both your parts.

With work being the way it is at the moment it's not really an option.

Sliuniav4ik

Well... I would suggest to wait till things (I mean economy and stuff) get better, and I am positive one of you will (or maybe both of you) want to change a workplace.

but hey, shouldn't be a huge problem to have a quick chit chat about how difficult times are, and maybe bring up the whole "I miss you so much" thing in it ;-)

LaurzH27

Sliuniav4ik wrote: »

Well... I would suggest to wait till things (I mean economy and stuff) get better, and I am positive one of you will (or maybe both of you) want to change a workplace.

but hey, shouldn't be a huge problem to have a quick chit chat about how difficult times are, and maybe bring up the whole "I miss you so much" thing in it ;-)

Thanks for the reply.

Payton

I agree with Miss Fluff, it will take time and effort on both sides, if your willing to work at it. Things might change in the future so all you can do is wait and see if that's what you want.
Can I ask what ages you both are, and why does your family not like him?

starrynightsky

I was with my ex for 4 years too, and I eventually ended it because we were living in different counties and our paths for the foreseeable future did not look like they were parallel, and despite much agonizing on my part trying to figure out if we had a future together I couldn't see it. For a good while before we broke up I lost interest in sex. We'd see each other every couple of weekends or even every weekend and he expect great things from me in the bedroom and, well, didn't get them. Now I look back I realise how connected my sex drive was to this feeling that we had no real future, or a future without plans. Ok at the start and it was all great and you don't think about the future that much but after 3/4 years I think I just needed more certainty. Also, my parents didn't like him either, and while you hate to think your parents would have any bearing on your sex life, in a roundabout way it did because it was just one more thing to be stressed about. I'm not saying you should break up, but just that in my experience stress levels/worry about the future effects everything else. Best of luck!!

LaurzH27

on the verge wrote: »

I agree with Miss Fluff, it will take time and effort on both sides, if your willing to work at it. Things might change in the future so all you can do is wait and see if that's what you want.
Can I ask what ages you both are, and why does your family not like him?

I'm 27 and he's 30. It's mostly my mother. She thinks he's not right for me and comes across rude. I don't agree with her on this point. She gives off the vibe that she can't stand him when he used to come to the family home. He's never behaved badly towards me or hurt me in any way

Payton

Well you need to sit your mother down and discuss that issue with her, explain your happy with him and why can't she be.
I'm a firm beleiver if you want something really bad you have to work at it, its not going to fall into place.

LaurzH27

I've tried doing that. She says she doesn't like him. She wished she did but she doesn't!!!

PennyLane88

Sliuniav4ik wrote: »

Well... I would suggest to wait till things (I mean economy and stuff) get better, and I am positive one of you will (or maybe both of you) want to change a workplace.

but hey, shouldn't be a huge problem to have a quick chit chat about how difficult times are, and maybe bring up the whole "I miss you so much" thing in it ;-)

tbh i dont think she should wait for that, the economy might not pick up for another 5-10 years, thats a long part of yer life to be holding out for things to improve.

Personally i'd cut my losses and move on, harsh as it sounds, but you've only one life, and there's no point letting things go stale and expecting them to 'improve'.

LaurzH27

So many conflicting views ahhh!!!