I wonder was he gay....

EJLL

I find this topic hard to approach as people might be greatly offended, but whenever I hear news coverage of a suicide I immediately think to myself "I wonder if he was gay and couldn't deal with the repercussions". And usually when people struggle to see how he could have taken his own life (ie- no financial concerns, no relationship issues... ) the notion resonates further.

Ive gone through dark periods before coming out and sometimes I would hear/read about someone my own age taking their lives and feel that maybe they didn't make it through those dark periods.

There is still a stigma about homosexuality in Irish society but luckily it's being reduced with great speed as of late.

I guess it annoys me that when suicide figures are discussed in the media the topic of struggling with sexuality is never mentioned as a possible root cause of a substantial percentage of those figures. Though i understand that the media might be too concerned with upsetting people by labelling anyone who took their lives as being potentially gay.

Aard

So you want the media to speculate on the sexual orientation of suicide victims?

L.Jenkins

Suicide is a complex issue and we could do better than to speculate on ones reasons for such actions. There are many reasons for it and sexuality is one of an arms length list of possible reasons. Granted, I understand where you are coming from, but would it help over all?

I've contemplated suicide on occasions in my youth, but gender or sexuality never came into it. A better approach is offering support and provisions as a preventative measure.

stephen_n

That's just normal human behaviour to compare situations to your own experiences. However it is also normal to move beyond and realise there are many other possibilities. I attempted suicide three times in my teens and none were motivated by sexuality and nor would they probably match up to Gary speeds reasons. The truth is we never know what's going on in people's lives and even those closest too him are probably struggling to understand but suicide and it's motivating factors are very very complex.

wonderfulname

EJLL wrote: »

I guess it annoys me that when suicide figures are discussed in the media the topic of struggling with sexuality is never mentioned as a possible root cause of a substantial percentage of those figures.

I think you guys missed this bit.

When the topic comes up root cause is always discussed in very general terms, "financial worries" are discussed, not "bank repossession", "relationship issues" as opposed to "a cheating husband", or indeed "sexuality". When you go into specifics it's not so much about the offence you can cause as the grief you can bring back to the fore for people, and of course, as has been mentioned, it's a bit of an over-simplification - it's not something you can really find a sole culprit for.

If you are concerned about suicide rates in closeted gays being under-reported you should remember initiatives such as the "It gets better" project, something which is a household name at this point, also I have to agree with ItsThatManAgain, focusing on prevention is far more important than retrospective semantics.

baby and crumble

I think we need to keep this discussion general, guys, and not discuss any one specific person or people- just out of respect. I think it's an important discussion though.

df1985

It could be a factor in some suicides but depression and suicide are very complex and id say are down to a number of issues in someones life rather than one.


I went through a dark stage in my life about a year ago, i wasnt out at that stage. being gay and in the closet didnt get me to that place, but once i was there, it was another piece of the puzzle that made me unhappy.

EJLL

Aard wrote: »

So you want the media to speculate on the sexual orientation of suicide victims?

Not at all. I'm not asking for anyone to be labelled or the media to focus on any one individual. That would be vile.

Its more a concern that the issue is not addressed when looking at tackling suicide rates/figures which has been prevalent in the last couple of years with election promises and campaigns etc

wonderfulname has highlighted some resources that I was not aware of and it is good to see that outlets for people struggling are in place. But I also feel greater role models for the gay community in the media are lacking which can lead to people feeling isolated as they dont see any resemblence or common ground between themselves and a camp TV presenter or x-factor contestant. Again, this is gradually changing with the likes of Donal Og and Gareth Thomas stepping forward.

Mental Mickey

EJLL wrote: »

I find this topic hard to approach as people might be greatly offended, but whenever I hear news coverage of a suicide I immediately think to myself "I wonder if he was gay and couldn't deal with the repercussions". And usually when people struggle to see how he could have taken his own life (ie- no financial concerns, no relationship issues... ) the notion resonates further.

Ive gone through dark periods before coming out and sometimes I would hear/read about someone my own age taking their lives and feel that maybe they didn't make it through those dark periods.

There is still a stigma about homosexuality in Irish society but luckily it's being reduced with great speed as of late.

I guess it annoys me that when suicide figures are discussed in the media the topic of struggling with sexuality is never mentioned as a possible root cause of a substantial percentage of those figures. Though i understand that the media might be too concerned with upsetting people by labelling anyone who took their lives as being potentially gay.

Does it really f***ing matter if he was gay???? He's dead ffs......let him Rest In Peace. EDIT: Surely if he was gay, it would've been revealed ages ago by the scum section of the English media???

2nd Edit: The most important thing here is, a wife has lost her husband, and two young kids have lost their father.

stephen_n

Suicide as an issue is under resources and under publicized full stop. Not as a gay issue but as an issue in general. There were more deaths by suicide last year than road deaths yet the publicity campaigns for road deaths cost somewhere in the region of 40 million and suicide/ depression somewhere in the region of 1 million. Suicide is still a taboo subject in this country and until there is a sustained campaign to highlight it and resource it's treatment then it will comtinue to be one of the biggest silent killers in our society!

Mental Mickey

stephen_n wrote: »

Suicide as an issue is under resources and under publicized full stop. Not as a gay issue but as an issue in general. There were more deaths by suicide last year than road deaths yet the publicity campaigns for road deaths cost somewhere in the region of 40 million and suicide/ depression somewhere in the region of 1 million. Suicide is still a taboo subject in this country and until there is a sustained campaign to highlight it and resource it's treatment then it will comtinue to be one of the biggest issues in our society!

Fixed that.

stephen_n

Mental Mickey wrote: »

Fixed that.

There was nothing to fix I choose the words carefully as a reference to the unwillingness to talk about the issue in society!

EJLL

Mental Mickey wrote: »

Does it really f***ing matter if he was gay???? He's dead ffs......let him Rest In Peace. EDIT: Surely if he was gay, it would've been revealed ages ago by the scum section of the English media???

2nd Edit: The most important thing here is, a wife has lost her husband, and two young kids have lost their father.

Did I mention 'him' in my post? No.

It was a question aimed at the LGBT community and their thoughts on the general issue of suicide trends. Also I was referring largely to Irish people as the Irish mentality is different based on the bearing of the catholic church.

Mental Mickey

My "assumption" was wrong, then. Sorry . Subsuquent posts led me to assume we were talking about Gary Speed.

DubArk

I do not want to speculate about anyone in particular.

I agree with the OP in part, when suicide reaches into my life, and it has on a few too many occasions, I do sometimes, for whatever reason, say to my self,” there go I but for the grace of god.”

As this is a LGBT I don’t see any reason why we can’t openly discuss that fact that many LGBT people do feel driven to contemplate suicide as a last resort because of their sexuality.
And when I read your post, it touched me, made me think and feel that still its there, the elephant in the room.

Having the media covering any suicide will make people look in at themselves for what ever reason but it’s very important that those who are grappling with such matters know there is always an ear and they must seek help if they require it.

They owe it to themselves.

Caiseoipe19

DubArk wrote: »

I do not want to speculate about anyone in particular.

I agree with the OP in part, when suicide reaches into my life, and it has on a few too many occasions, I do sometimes, for whatever reason, say to my self,” there go I but for the grace of god.”

As this is a LGBT I don’t see any reason why we can’t openly discuss that fact that many LGBT people do feel driven to contemplate suicide as a last resort because of their sexuality.
And when I read your post, it touched me, made me think and feel that still its there, the elephant in the room.

Having the media covering any suicide will make people look in at themselves for what ever reason but it’s very important that those who are grappling with such matters know there is always an ear and they must seek help if they require it.

They owe it to themselves.

This is true but that's not the way this thread title is phrased. Just because a high percentage of lgbt might consider suicide, doesn't necessarily mean that a high percentage of people that commit suicide are lgbt. It's not commutative.
(I'm just saying "high percentage" to try and try get my point across...I don't actually think a high percentage do because of their sexuality.)

Why can people not just accept what the person says is the truth? If someone says they are straight, then unless they say differently, that's what they should be seen as, regardless of how they die. There are endless reasons why someone ends up feeling the need to take their own life and sexuality doesn't always have to come into it. A gay person can feel the need to take their own life and their sexuality not being one of the reasons behind it. Basically at the end of the day, as said above, it's prevention that should be focused on.

Annasopra

Mental Mickey wrote: »

My "assumption" was wrong, then. Sorry . Subsuquent posts led me to assume we were talking about Gary Speed.

This is a general discussion. Please do not discuss any named person