How to ensure it is No Strings Attached

LegacyUser

so here is the story,

I met this girl and she came back to my place and we've been having great sex since. she's like a pornstar which is great in one way but on the other hand she could never be my girlfriend, i could never bring her on dates or introduce her to friends because she's just not the right fit. she's a few years younger and a bit immature etc and i'd have no interest in dating her really

anyway, how do i go about ensuring this is just sex and that she doesn't expect a relationship. I don't want to say 'you know this is just sex' for fear of hurting her feelings in case she likes me. I have a feeling she's just in it for the sex too but i don't want to assume that either...usually one person in these situations ends up wanting to date the other.

sorry of this is all a bit crude and it disgusts some of you but this is the situation.

Beruthiel

drek wrote: »

how do i go about ensuring this is just sex and that she doesn't expect a relationship. I don't want to say 'you know this is just sex' for fear of hurting her feelings in case she likes me.

Which is why it is exactly what you need to say to her.
If you are not totally honest to the point of being blunt then she will be under the illusion that there is more to this relationship than you are expecting.
Tell her the truth and let her decide.

you can't have it no strings attached if you want her to like you more than that
just be blunt

Miss Fluff

Yep, tell her you are only interested in meeting her for sex, then she will be under no illusions, it's the fairest way....

beks101

Well the obvious answer is to have an honest and direct conversation with the girl like an adult.

But if you're not willing to do that

- Keep contact to late night booty calls/texts, no cutesy or friendly casual texting-for-the-sake-of-texting. Contact when you want a fuck, that's it.

- Don't divulge too much about your personal life, equally don't ask about hers. You're not interested in getting to know her, don't pretend otherwise, she'll think you care.

- Keep pillow talk and affection to a minimum. Don't kiss her too much out of bed.

- Let her know if/when you've met other girls, be open and honest about dating other women.

- Don't play games, be direct about your intentions, don't play hard to get or act like you're dating.

- DON'T contact her daily. Even if it's just for sex. You shouldn't be having sex with her every day, the risk of emotional attachment is too great. Either find someone else to have fun with as well as her, or just keep your encounters to occasional rather than regular.

S23

You can't ensure it remains NSA for her. You have no control over that. Maybe shes in it only for sex (as you speculate) maybe she's not

Since neither of you have spoken about it I think you need to. You've decided that it's an NSA relationship for you with no future in romantic terms.

If this girl is now in an NSA relationship she deserves to know. Be a man and have the balls to talk to her about it. None of this bulls*it about not wanting to say it for 'fear of hurting her feelings'. What a cop out. I reckon you're afraid of losing the 'pornstar' sex more than you are of hurting her.

You see if she does actually think its more than NSA you'll be helping her out by telling her the truth that you don't see it going anywhere. It might sting a bit now but thats much better than her being strung along for god knows how long thinking something might develop when you know well and good that ...

she's just not the right fit. she's a few years younger and a bit immature etc and i'd have no interest in dating her really

My advice. Take some responsibility and talk to the girl about the parameters of your relationship. If you're not capable of being honest with her then stop having sex with her. If you can't tell her the nature of your relationship then you're just a conman leading her on for your own gratification with not a thought for her.

Katgurl

If you don't want to be personal about it you could play the ' I'm not looking for a relationship with anyone' card.

But be very very clear you won't change your mind. Use expressions like "I don't want to mislead anyone" and "this isn't personal and I want to make sure we both want the same thing"

gerryk

It's only fair that you put your cards on the table. Is it possible that it's less about concern for her feelings and more fear that she might pull the plug on the sex, that you are reluctant to be honest with her?

keesa

You just have to man up and tell her. That way she can decide if she wants no strings, or can leave so she doesn't get hurt

username123

drek wrote: »

she could never be my girlfriend, i could never bring her on dates or introduce her to friends because she's just not the right fit. she's a few years younger and a bit immature etc and i'd have no interest in dating her really

Dont tell her that! Its incredibly insulting that you are willing and happy to have pornstar sex with her but would be ashamed to let anyone you know see or meet her.

drek wrote: »

anyway, how do i go about ensuring this is just sex and that she doesn't expect a relationship. I don't want to say 'you know this is just sex' for fear of hurting her feelings in case she likes me.

Why are you worried about hurting her feelings? You dont want anyone to see her or meet her, you dont want her in your life except for pornstar sex, are you just afraid the pornstar sex will be withdrawn if you hurt her feelings?

drek wrote: »

sorry of this is all a bit crude and it disgusts some of you but this is the situation.

To objectify the girl and refer to her as immature, not a good fit, and not someone youd want to date but are happy to have pornstar sex with is whats disgusting, not the situation per say. Not wanting a relationship is fine, but not respecting someone you are happy to sleep with is not.