Please help , Lost in a big world and pregnant

Traveller123

I have been a lurker for a long time but now I really need advise . I will really try to keep this brief :

22 years old
Recently emigrated from Ireland for work ( about 5 months ago )
Had a one night stand and now well I'm pregnant , scared and two people currently know as I don't want it known yet . The babies father will not find out - drunk relationship that I now know was abusive . I can guarantee he wont be part of this babies life .
Now a million problems :
Have not been to obstetrician yet only saw a cardiologist ( dont ask Im third world country so best on offer )
I dont know what to do , Im currently lost in a big world and feeling really isolated and alone .
Returning to Ireland is probably the only options I can think of but I wonder do others have any other options ??
No family here and an amazing circle of friends here that wont understand
I really need advise or perspective on this if anyone can help and please dont give me the advise to use protection next time as I'm really already kicking myself for not insisting .
Thank you Siob x

Outkast_IRE

What would your support be like back in Ireland ? do you have family you can depend on etc ? For me that would be a major factor , also in Ireland you would have access to far better medical care which could be a major factor for you to come back.

Tara be

Hi Siob
Sorry to hear you're feeling so alone. I don't really have any advice to offer, I don't know what to say only that a third world country doesn't sound an ideal place to give birth so coming home might be your best option. While this pregnancy was unplanned things have a way of working out. Once your baby is born you and your family will love it and it will be a part of your family. There will be more support in Ireland in every way, financially etc. You might also want to get checked for stds etc (sorry to heap that on you as well, but it's a consideration). Once you've told your folks things will seem easier, you won't feel so alone. Good luck with everything. This is a website you could look at, I'm sure there's more but it's the first one that came to mind and it's Irish.
www.cura.ie

Traveller123

Support is non existant in Ireland - they can't and wont be told until I have a plan in place - might be 6 months time when babs arrives .Re medical care to say third world was an exaggeration I am in the Middle East - unfortunately when i found out I was in a rural location . I usually live in a big city , will be seeking an appointment on Monday .I did not even think STD's as the doctor never said uh I will try find some testing place aswell Monday .Thank you for the answers.
I will take a look at cura

yoda2001

I don't know what facilities are like at your location. You should consider taking folic acid and perhaps some suitable vitamins, if your diet is limited. take care. Citizens advice in Ireland may advise you of what benefits may be available to you here. take care.

Brazzer

Traveller123, congratulations on your pregnancy. I realise your situation or conditions aren't ideal but just wanted to congratulate you, you're going to have a little bundle of joy :-)

Traveller123

Thank you for the replies . Will make appointments etc tomorrow and try and gain some clarity on this mess . I am grateful for the responses thus far , has anyone been in the situation where they did not come home and somehow managed ?

Cherrycola

When you say the middle east, and a rural area at that, im guessing its a majority muslim country yes?
And from what i can gather you are unmarried? Giving birth there could be a huge issue so.
I know when i lived in Dubai(one of the fairly liberal ME countries) i heard so many of these stories, and women have been jailed for being unmarried and pregnant, so most leave to have their babies. The hospitals do ask for marriage certs etc.

Just something to be aware of if the situation is as i understand it to be.

Best of luck anyway. x

Orion

You should speak to the nearest Irish consulate as well to check local rights/issues with being single and pregnant there.

Would I be right in guessing from your username that family support at home would only be forthcoming if marriage was involved? If so then organisations like Pavee Point may be able to help with mediation with your family.

As for your friends over there - give them a chance. If they are friends they will at least try to understand.

Best of luck with your pregnancy. It may be a tough time for you but hopefully all goes well

pippington

Just wondering if where your living in a muslim country? I know a girl who became pregnant while in dubai. Im sorry to say but you can be arrested for being single and pregnant there, sex outside wedlock is illegal. She was afraid to even go to see a doctor while there as they could potentially call the police and inform them. At about 14 weeks she started bleeding and had to fly to london for medical attention, thankfully everything was ok but it made her realise she couldnt hang on in dubai and so has now moved back to her own country.

I can also tell you I have fairly strict parents who i thought would blow there top when i told them. I couldnt have been more wrong, while shocked and a little upset, they never once put me down and my whole family have come together and couldnt be more supportive. Everything has a way of working out. It sounds like it might be best for you to come back to Ireland for a while, there is nothing to stop you emigrating again once the babog is born and you have things sorted.