Why do I always end up back here?

LegacyUser

Hey,

Going unreg for this. I suppose I'm just looking for any words of advice.
I've had bad periods of depression in the past and it's been tough going. Basically, it came bubbling back to the surface during the Summer and I'm finding it hard to fight. I could stay in bed all day every day. I don't do that of course. I get up and get on with things but I'm finding my motivation is waning with each day. I'm in college and I've been slacking off hugely in terms of attending lectures and whatnot. I go to the library most days, sit at my laptop and try to read course material but I find myself reading the same paragraph ten times and nothing has gone in. It's frustrating as I'm trying hard but all I want to do is go home, get into bed and cry myself to sleep. I'm on medication and have a counsellor too so I am looking after myself as best I can. I've also talked to a lecturer in the college about what's going on. Ultimately though, I don't feel reassured that things are going to get better. I don't feel that the supports I have in place are making a significant difference to how I'm feeling.
I'm sure I'd feel much worse if they weren't there. In fact, I know I would. However, I don't know what to do now.
I apologise for the rant here, I just feel I need some input really. Thanks for reading

thefeatheredcat

ontheedge1 wrote: »

Ultimately though, I don't feel reassured that things are going to get better. I don't feel that the supports I have in place are making a significant difference to how I'm feeling.
I'm sure I'd feel much worse if they weren't there. In fact, I know I would. However, I don't know what to do now.

Things are going to get better! That is your life raft to help you through, to keep that positive thought in your head and consciously reinforce it positively with yourself to yourself.

If you've gotten through this before, then certainly you can do so again, because you have the strength within you to get through it.

What kind of supports do you have? Are you referring to family/friends or counselling/medication/material to help you through?

You've acknowledged to yourself that perhaps with the supports you'd possibly feel worse.... but that they aren't having their full effect. Can you tweak your supports in a way that would enhance the impact of support? If medication, chat with your GP, or counselling with different techniques or seeking out maybe groups associated, or if friends and family, let them know that you need them a bit more than you realise if they are able to be there for you more or extend yourself to others who have been through the same?

John Doe1

ontheedge1 wrote: »

Hey,

Going unreg for this. I suppose I'm just looking for any words of advice.
I've had bad periods of depression in the past and it's been tough going. Basically, it came bubbling back to the surface during the Summer and I'm finding it hard to fight. I could stay in bed all day every day. I don't do that of course. I get up and get on with things but I'm finding my motivation is waning with each day. I'm in college and I've been slacking off hugely in terms of attending lectures and whatnot. I go to the library most days, sit at my laptop and try to read course material but I find myself reading the same paragraph ten times and nothing has gone in. It's frustrating as I'm trying hard but all I want to do is go home, get into bed and cry myself to sleep. I'm on medication and have a counsellor too so I am looking after myself as best I can. I've also talked to a lecturer in the college about what's going on. Ultimately though, I don't feel reassured that things are going to get better. I don't feel that the supports I have in place are making a significant difference to how I'm feeling.
I'm sure I'd feel much worse if they weren't there. In fact, I know I would. However, I don't know what to do now.
I apologise for the rant here, I just feel I need some input really. Thanks for reading

I was the exact same before the summer, incredibly depressed, no motivation, missing lecturesetc. I'm now pretty content with new friends and a girl has brought me out of myself. So things an change

I dont know if this will help but i started mediatation and doing more excerise and that seems to clear my head of feelings of lack of self worth to an extent. I hope you get out of this temporary dark space. Good luck

qwertytlk

Hi,a
i feel your pain. I went through a similar bad bought of depression where i literally just locked myself away and stayed in bed for months. Its not a nice way to feel. But it absloutey does get better. My life is so different now, and so can yours be.
You mentioned a counsellor, are you seeing them weekly or what's the setup? Maybe you need more frequent sessions? I know for me, for the first while it felt like things were getting worse instead of better but of you just persevere it will make all the difference.
Your on meds for depression too? You know that antidepressants take 2-4 week to kick in?? If its a case your on them far longer than this and still dont feel a change or even feel worse then go back to your gp and get them to review your meds. Not all meds suit everyone, you may need a different form of anti.d.

Apart from that, id say talk to people. Try to be around people as much as you can and out doing things instead of wallowing at home alone, letting sadness envelope your mind. I know Being around ppl when you feel down is the last thing you want but it really is better.
I hope you feel better soon. Tale care and try and stay positive x