What exactly does "seeing someone" entail these days?

LegacyUser

I am in my late 20s.In the last few months I started hanging out more with a male friend (in his 30s) whom I had known for years as we now live near to each other. We had both recently ended relationships (my ex is a friend of his) and would talk about that a lot at first, then we'd go for midnight walks together, drinks, food, etc...and I felt like things were changing between us. Our mutual friends joked asking if we were a couple, which worried us as one of his exes from years ago used to be a friend of mine and the two of us no longer speak to her..at the time I was afraid of the rumour getting back to her as she's a bit unstable.
One night three weeks ago we both got drunk and ended up kissing, then slept with each other than night.Things felt really natural the day day, we had breakfast and I left and he called me that night and told me not to freak out about his ex that I'm scared of, that she has nothing to do with us and is ancient history.
Since then our friendship has changed, prior to us sleeping together we saw each other nearly every day for about 6 weeks.Now we see each other about twice a week, he is in contact everyday, through calling, text etc. He told me early on that he wanted to keep this private, which made me feel uncomfortable.I asked him was he just using me for sex, he said no and acted shocked, said that he has been busy and presumed we were seeing each other but hadn't thought about how he felt yet and thought in a month or so we could decide if we wanted a relationship.... he says he wants to keep it private as he is a private person but don't think he wants his ex who was my friend or my ex whose still his friend finding out yet. When we meet up now for drinks, strangely enough he has no problem kissing me in public in pubs that our friends would go usually go to.
I am wondering is this normal and am I totally out of the know when it comes to dating?I don't want to bring up the subject again with him yet as I might just drive him away...I do really like him.I just don't know if him seeing me less and texting less is a game or if he is disinterested in this becoming a relationship

Miss Fluff

I'm not sure where you're coming from. What is it exactly that you want to know? Where it's headed? It's been three weeks. :eek: He said quite specifically that he'd like to wait a month and see how it goes, I take that to mean before you have a chat about becoming an official couple and launching into a relationship.

Why don't you just enjoy this time and also see how YOU feel in a month's time, why the need to rush in headlong? It's early days and you've only just started seeing one another. Also, I presume he is keeping it on the downlow until he is sure, until you are both sure, that you want to become a bona fide couple - I think that's fair enough.

I am a friend

Does he want to Keep having sex and then see how he feels in a month? Are you ok with that? sounds like he is brewing up to a fwb situation.

shellyboo

Wow, chill out! Three weeks is no time at all, if there are exes and best friends involved then keeping it private is probably the best thing you could do. Get to know eachother without drama and pressure from your group of mates, enjoy your time together. If it turns into something, great! If it doesn't... so what?! You haven't lost anything, haven't pissed anyone off or burned bridges. Worst case scenario, you'll have had a fun, sweet month or two. If it turns out you want different things, c'est la vie!