Seem to attract people with below average level of intelligence

wealthyman

I am a good looking intelligent and educated young man. I am happy with most aspects of my life at present except one element which is weighing down on my mind recently. I seem to attract people who lets say would not be the academic type or intellectually challenged perhaps. The last two people I dated fited this category. I did notice 'slip ups' at the early stages these people would make but would brush it aside in the hope they were just being scatty or due to lack of concentration on the day. However I realised that these people were just 'dopey' sorry if that is not the appropriate term, it just seems to fit at this moment. They done and said the silliest things which really didn't make sense at all. Both had also failed their leaving certificate, something I wasn't aware of until the later stages, although one did have dyslexia so I don't mind that. Anyway I ended both relationships. Recently a girl has developed lets say a 'huge'crush on me at a course I am doing, yet again this girl is a complete dope, says things that would make your jaw drop to the floor they are so stupid. Also dyslexic but I don't have an issue with that, I have had to block her on facebook and tell her to stay away from me after she went on to make sexual advances towards me and then on to stalking me.

I guess I am wondering why I am attracting these type of people into my life? I am a nice friendly outgoing person, perhaps a little too nice and passive. I am also obligent. I just want to attract like minded people who are on a similar wave lenght to myself and not these dopes.

Fentdog84

Well that is rather odd op that all these girls have that in common. Perhaps they are attracted to your intelligience i.e opposites attract? And ill take it you are not attracting girls WITH a certain level of intelligience then? You should just go after ones who are more your type then.

up for anything

Maybe you only attract dopes because the girls who are not 'intellectually challenged' can see what those poor girls can't see. I would hazard a guess that you don't attract girls that you believe are your equal because they find you distasteful in your attitudes.

My advice would be to rethink the light in which you see other people and get rid of the superiority complex that you seem to possess.

If you don't have an issue with the girl's dyslexia, why mention it?

The Lovely Muffin

up for anything wrote: »

Maybe you only attract dopes because the girls who are not 'intellectually challenged' can see what those poor girls can't see. I would hazard a guess that you don't attract girls that you believe are your equal because they find you distasteful in your attitudes.

My advice would be to rethink the light in which you see other people and get rid of the superiority complex that you seem to possess.

If you don't have an issue with the girl's dyslexia, why mention it?

I agree 100% this.

Quite frankly OP, in your post you come across as arrogant, stuck up, and as if you are better than other, when quite honestly, you are no better than these girls or vice versa.

Like "up for anything" says, I'd guess those girls who you think are equally intelligent as you are are put off by your superior and snobbish attitude.

I did notice 'slip ups' at the early stages these people would make but would brush it aside in the hope they were just being scatty or due to lack of concentration on the day.

What kind of slip ups?

one did have dyslexia so I don't mind that.

I find this sentence to be absolutely shocking.

How on earth could you possibly mind whether or not one or all of the girls has Dyslexia? :eek:

It's not as if they can help having Dyslexia.

and then on to stalking me.

How exactly was she stalking you?

As for failing the Leaving Cert, why did they fail? Was there a good reason was it laziness?

I don't have a leaving cert or any state examination and it's not because of laziness or not being bothered or not caring, yet there nothing wrong with me.

In my opinion, those girls had a lucky escape. I couldn't imagine having a boyfriend like you with such a superior and frankly, distasteful attitude. I'd run a mile from any man with such an attitude.

WindSock

How come it takes you a while to figure out if they are not on your intellectual level?

Chatting to someone briefly should be an indication...although sometimes I have been wrong and found out they are smarter than they let on, very rarely it goes the other way though as it is harder to fake.

Also, not having a LC is not really an indication of smarts, unless it's academic smarts your after then try approaching people in student venues...

1830

wealthyman wrote: »

They done and said the silliest things which really didn't make sense at all

They did and said the silliest things .....

Maybe you're not quite the intellectual colossus you think you are. If this is an issue for you then so be it. Don't date women you think are intellectually beneath you. Save both of you some time and move on.

For the record I don't think you give off any aura that attracts 'dopes'. I think you may just have an over inflated sense of self worth in the dating game because you are, in your own words

a good looking intelligent and educated young man

If you were really intelligent surely you could weed out the 'dopes' a little earlier.

endacl

Obligent? Though you claimed intelligence and education? Or maybe I've just been using the rong dikshunary...?

LegacyUser

wealthyman wrote: »

I am a good looking intelligent and educated young man. I am happy with most aspects of my life at present except one element which is weighing down on my mind recently. I seem to attract people who lets say would not be the academic type or intellectually challenged perhaps. The last two people I dated fited this category. I did notice 'slip ups' at the early stages these people would make but would brush it aside in the hope they were just being scatty or due to lack of concentration on the day. However I realised that these people were just 'dopey' sorry if that is not the appropriate term, it just seems to fit at this moment. They done and said the silliest things which really didn't make sense at all. Both had also failed their leaving certificate, something I wasn't aware of until the later stages, although one did have dyslexia so I don't mind that. Anyway I ended both relationships. Recently a girl has developed lets say a 'huge'crush on me at a course I am doing, yet again this girl is a complete dope, says things that would make your jaw drop to the floor they are so stupid. Also dyslexic but I don't have an issue with that, I have had to block her on facebook and tell her to stay away from me after she went on to make sexual advances towards me and then on to stalking me.

I guess I am wondering why I am attracting these type of people into my life? I am a nice friendly outgoing person, perhaps a little too nice and passive. I am also obligent. I just want to attract like minded people who are on a similar wave lenght to myself and not these dopes.

Sometimes people make silly mistakes. It doesn't necessarily mean they are stupid...

However, you have said that one girl says things that would "make your jaw drop to the floor they are so stupid." A few of these moments could happen to anyone, but if it is a very regular occurrence then she may be doing it on purpose.

I've noticed some people nowadays act stupid in an attempt to be humorous, or as an attention seeking ploy. These people are often a lot smarter than they let on, but don't want to appear as intelligent as they feel it is uncool.
I wouldn't blame you for avoiding these type of people if this is the case.

If you are in college you should join a society for your course, as you would be guaranteed to meet someone who has similar interests to you at least academically. A debating society might also be a good option.

If you are not in college, you should join a club or class in a subject you find interesting, perhaps an art class, a language class, chess club, or a book club perhaps? You could also attend events in which you have an interest in such as science fairs, or public seminars held by esteemed individuals in their field, such as astronomy, psychology, or political seminars - whatever it is you are interested in.

There are bound to be on-line groups dedicated to specific interests too, where you could get to know some like minded people.

If you are frequently disappointed in your choice of girlfriend, maybe give it some more time to get to know the girl better, before jumping into a relationship with them.

I'm not going to bother lecturing you for wanting to meet somebody on a similar intellectual level to yourself . It can come across as very arrogant though, when you call other people "intellectually challenged" unless they have an actual recognised condition. You should have more tact, although I'm certain you don't say these things to their face's.

Some people may have little interest in what interests you academically, but they could be very talented in different subjects. Other people are genuinely just a bit silly and have no interest in learning new information, they might be lovely people who you could still be friends with, but you have every right to not be attracted to them on an intellectual level. There's no need for name calling though.

Hopefully some of the above suggestions might help you out.

gmac102

wealthyman wrote: »

I am a good looking intelligent and educated young man. I am happy with most aspects of my life at present except one element which is weighing down on my mind recently. I seem to attract people who lets say would not be the academic type or intellectually challenged perhaps. The last two people I dated fited this category. I did notice 'slip ups' at the early stages these people would make but would brush it aside in the hope they were just being scatty or due to lack of concentration on the day. However I realised that these people were just 'dopey' sorry if that is not the appropriate term, it just seems to fit at this moment. They done and said the silliest things which really didn't make sense at all. Both had also failed their leaving certificate, something I wasn't aware of until the later stages, although one did have dyslexia so I don't mind that. Anyway I ended both relationships. Recently a girl has developed lets say a 'huge'crush on me at a course I am doing, yet again this girl is a complete dope, says things that would make your jaw drop to the floor they are so stupid. Also dyslexic but I don't have an issue with that, I have had to block her on facebook and tell her to stay away from me after she went on to make sexual advances towards me and then on to stalking me.

I guess I am wondering why I am attracting these type of people into my life? I am a nice friendly outgoing person, perhaps a little too nice and passive. I am also obligent. I just want to attract like minded people who are on a similar wave lenght to myself and not these dopes.

you attract what you put out and if i say what vibes im getting from you id get banned!!

OS119

sorry OP, but as i read through your post - dodgy grammar, spelling mistakes, poor storytelling, casually (unknowingly?) insulting phrasing, and made up words - the thoughts that went through my mind were not that i was reading the words of a man likely to enter the annals of history as one of the great intellects of our age.

i think you have a very distorted view of your place on the dating ladder, and even if you actually are very intelligent, your communicative and 'people' skills are so abismal that any value your intelligence has is completely negated by your odious personality.

change it, or get used to it.

fungun

where do you meet people?

In my experience, its quite true that 'birds of a feather flock together'. So it does seem odd that you meet people who you perceive are consistently different to you. And although your post did come across as a bit insulting it is fair to say that comparable interests etc make for a better reln so wanting someone that you consider matches you is a reasonable wish.

However I see no evidence from your post behind what you say. Some very intelligent people do 'dopey' things. Some very intelligent people did not do a Leaving Cert. What exactly are you looking for? If you want intellectual cut and thrust then go meet people in groups where people would have that trait. And consider your attitude - it does come across as superior and a bit off putting...as stated above some people who are not confident in themselves might be attracted to your superiority and that is why it is happening.

CardinalJ

To be honest, this is one of the funniest thread titles I've ever seen.

OP you do come accross as a bit stuck up, however I think I know what you're trying to say. No one likes feeling like they're talking to someone who doesn't understand what they're saying.

Purple_Bobbin

Purple_Bobbin wrote: »

How on earth could you possibly mind whether or not one or all of the girls has Dyslexia? :eek:

It's not as if they can help having Dyslexia.

While I'm not exactly a fan of the OP after reading his post, I think he was talking about minding whether they failed their leaving. As in, "both failed their leaving but since one had dyslexia I don't mind that so much"


OP, I don't know where you're coming from really, especially given your own spelling and grammar mistakes, and your casual insults. Maybe you're not as wonderful as you thought.

moco

wealthyman wrote: »

I am a good looking intelligent and educated young man. I am happy with most aspects of my life at present except one element which is weighing down on my mind recently. I seem to attract people who lets say would not be the academic type or intellectually challenged perhaps. The last two people I dated fited this category. I did notice 'slip ups' at the early stages these people would make but would brush it aside in the hope they were just being scatty or due to lack of concentration on the day. However I realised that these people were just 'dopey' sorry if that is not the appropriate term, it just seems to fit at this moment. They done and said the silliest things which really didn't make sense at all. Both had also failed their leaving certificate, something I wasn't aware of until the later stages, although one did have dyslexia so I don't mind that. Anyway I ended both relationships. Recently a girl has developed lets say a 'huge'crush on me at a course I am doing, yet again this girl is a complete dope, says things that would make your jaw drop to the floor they are so stupid. Also dyslexic but I don't have an issue with that, I have had to block her on facebook and tell her to stay away from me after she went on to make sexual advances towards me and then on to stalking me.

I guess I am wondering why I am attracting these type of people into my life? I am a nice friendly outgoing person, perhaps a little too nice and passive. I am also obligent. I just want to attract like minded people who are on a similar wave lenght to myself and not these dopes.

What sort of 'slip ups' did these girls make?

Maybe they were joking around. Some intelligent people say things that sound dopey for a laugh. Maybe you're not smart enough to see that they're doing this!

Emme

wealthyman wrote: »

I am also obligent.

Maybe I'm thick, but is that the same as obliging?

wealthyman wrote: »

I just want to attract like minded people who are on a similar wave lenght to myself and not these dopes.

Again I might be stupid, but is wave lenght the same as wavelength?

LegacyUser

Judging from your post history OP, you are currently in the process of repeating the leaving certificate yourself, and finding a subject difficult. So surely you aren't judging the girls who failed their leaving certificates as dumb, for something you have so far also been unsuccessful at yourself?
That would be pretty shocking double standards if true.

ongarboy

I think a more appropriate title for this thread would be "Seem to turn off anyone with average or above intelligence"

OP, you have been given great advice here - most of which is basic common sense that even people with below average intelligence would get. If you don't get or understand it, maybe it's no surprise that you find yourself surrounded by "dopes" as you refer to them.

Bottle_of_Smoke

Do you have confidence problems perhaps? Maybe you find it more difficult to be yourself around smarter girls - just as one might with prettier girls for example. So the less intelligent ones find you more attractive than the smart ones who think you're shy or whatever.

S23

Emme wrote: »

Maybe I'm thick, but is that the same as obliging?

Ah come on Emme. It's a perfectly cromulant word!

OP let's get this straight. Your attitude stinks. You find some of these women you refer to beneath you. However you don't actually give any explanation of what exactly it is they do that makes them so terribly 'dopey' or whatever other lovely description it was you gave of them.

Maybe they weren't obligent enough with you? Or maybe you just fancy yourself a bit too much?

Seriously, we're all allowed have standards and to set the bar to a certain degree when it comes to dating and partners but you need a reality check.

I'd love to know what it is these girls do that qualifies as a 'slip up' that gets them written off as beneath you intellectually. Then again I never really take anything an OP leaves out of their original post on here too seriously. It's fine throwing something in after gauging a reaction to a post. However if it was/is that relevant surely you'd have mentioned it in the first place?

Maybe, just maybe, these girls are just your average people and you are, on account of your own apparently massive ego, expecting something that's not going to materialise. What is it you want them to do? Solve complex equations over lunch? Converse about existentialism in Latin after dinner?

If you were really that clever you'd know how to phrase your post properly without resorting to calling people dopey. It wouldn't be massively difficult to make basically the same post but keep the overtly insulting terminology out of it.

Honestly if your grammar and the general composition of your post are any kind of indicator you really aren't half the hot stuff you reckon you are. I'd say you're probably just another average Joe (which is what 99% of the world are) who for some reason thinks he's a bit special when he's not.

IronDuke

I have found that people are intelligent in their own way.

Just because you didn't do the LC doesn't mean you are unintelligent. Doing the LC or even doing a third level course requires hard work, not intelligence. At least in my experience anyway; I spent 7 years in third level education.

I have found academic subjects relatively easy to pick up, and if I'm intelligent then it’s seriously overrated. On the other hand I have a lot of respect for others who seem to have a natural flare for picking up on other people moods, for public speaking, for language ability or for social interaction.
I have never met anyone with high ability in all these skills; I don’t think anyone like that exists.
These skills are complementary to each other. So just because someone isn’t your academic equal doesn’t mean that they won’t be the perfect match for you.

Later.

The Lovely Muffin

bluewolf wrote: »

While I'm not exactly a fan of the OP after reading his post, I think he was talking about minding whether they failed their leaving. As in, "both failed their leaving but since one had dyslexia I don't mind that so much"


OP, I don't know where you're coming from really, especially given your own spelling and grammar mistakes, and your casual insults. Maybe you're not as wonderful as you thought.

Apologies for misunderstanding the OP, thanks for clarifying Bluewolf.

curlzy

Hey OP,

I have to agree that this is the funniest thread I've ever seen in PI/RI. Your post smacks of arrogance and totally unwarranted arrogance at that, considering you call yourself "intellectually superior" but then go on to make grammer and spelling mistakes that "an educated young man" never would. I'd imagine that if the person you are in real life is as odious as that post, then the intelligent girls are too busy rolling their eyes and laughing at you to date you. Have a little look at how you view and treat people and make the necessary adjustments and then you might find a nice girl.

Best of luck.

Ickle Magoo

OP - think you have a fairly comprehensive idea of what the issue may be now and as such, I'm locking this thread.

Please don't start any more threads likely to offend or flame.

Cheers.