infants acting/pulling a 'strange'

quad_red

Our five and a half month old has recently started to (in the words of many around us) pulling the odd strange.

ie. suddenly deciding he doesn't like someone, pulling an instantly (almost comedic) sad 'quivering lip' face and needs to be taken away to his mom or dad for reassurance.

Today he did it to my wife's father (who tried to hide it but was almost upset!).

Apparently this is totally natural. I've tried to find a description of this online etc.

Anyone care to enlighten? What is this called?

Thanks
Quad

How Strange

My son used to do this around 5 months if people were very loud, crowding him and being too 'in his face'. On the other hand he'd coo at people who were very gentle and calm around him. He used to scream his head off at his granny (mother in law) because she was just too over the top. He outgrew it though and now he's fine with everyone.

January

It's called "making strange" and it's the start of separation anxiety. My best advice is to not let people crowd the child, let the child come around to people in it's own time. Don't hand him to someone straight away when you walk in a door (you know how grandparents love to cuddle their grandchildren!), keep baby with you and let them suss out the person first and then try to let them cuddle. No loud voices either ("Oh where's my little chicken/pudding/princess/prince" you get the picture!) and calm situations all around.

If baby gets upset, just take him/her back and soothe them and try again in a little while, don't try to force anything on them.

annamcmahon

I totally agree with January. My daughter started doing the same around that age and still does at 10 months. Definitely second the giving him time to get used to people. He doesn't know he's related to them. Also make sure to take him back off people when he gets upset. People have a funny way of insisting that they can settle the crying baby not realising that they are the problem.

When she got a bit older we found that sitting her in her highchair or doorframe bouncer helped. She loves when people watch her in it. I think the highchair gave her a sense of personal space, if that makes sense.

How Strange

annamcmahon, my mother in law used to take my son off me when he was crying and wouldn't give him back even when he was hysterical. It drove me crazy because she was, as I said, way too intense for him and was a thusly the reason he was screaming his head off.

I agree with what annamcmahon and January said. Babies are people and as such they are entitled to their own personal space. Well intentioned grannies etc tend to forget this.

quad_red

Yeah, the freak out the last day was exactly that.

Tbh, the person in question was miffing me she was so in baby's face. But she's one of these people who literally tug the child off you and are border line frenzied about it. It takes ages to get the child off them.

Won't be so reticent again. Feel a bit sad that the little man had to go through it

annamcmahon

What I have found the most interesting is it's people who are parents themselves who are the ones that are the worse for not giving her back when she's upset. Not wanting to pull this off topic but it was one the reasons that I love that I breastfeeding. Great excuse to leave the room with her and hide in a bedroom, especially in the early days.

I just had to learn to be really abrupt with people and say back off and give her some space especially when we've first arrived somewhere and the poor child's just woken up after the car journey.

How Strange

We were in ikea this afternoon and decided to bring our son to Santa. We half expected he'd be frightened but thought we'd give it a go. We met a man standing at the door of the grotto and he started talking to our son who was in my arms. My son was smiling away at him and he asked if he wanted to go to him. My son not only went to him but when I asked if he wanted to come back to me he hugged the man! It was funny if not a little disconcerting. The man (who was Santa but on a break and not in costume) was very soft spoken and he's exactly the type of person my son responds to. He took to his crèche minder instantly too. My brother in law who has two kids and is generally fantastic with children used to frighten the life out of him because he kind of shouts when he talks. I said to him to speak a little quieter and my son would be fine around him; now he does and they're great friends.

annamcmahon I agree about the breastfeeding. It was our escape from many an intense, over the top visit from his granny in the early days.