Telling lies to get out of work.

pragmatic1

I'm terminally hungover this morning and had to tell lies to get out of work. My arm is in such a bad way that I cant go in. But it will be magically better tomorrow. What lies do you use?

foxyboxer

I haven't missed a day of work since 2002. :cool:


Lies make baby jesus cry.

scotty_irish

skivving work and boasting about it online is almost as dumb as this girl

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-derbyshire-15842559

hondasam

I don't lie,if I need a day off I book it in advance. If I did not want to go I would phone and take a holiday instead.

stovelid

Please hand in yiour manliness passport at the frontier of drink, sir.

Will that be all?

pragmatic1

scotty_irish wrote: »

I'm your boss - you're fired! Who wants a job?

But my arm has a stingy. Its very serious.

CardBordWindow

Today's Thursday. Take tomorrow off too for the same reason. It'll be magically healed over the weekend.

Ta-da!

Hells Belle

Tell them you have a nasty rash from that bog maiden you rode last night and it's laid eggs which are crawling inside your arm.

Works every time

the groutch

pragmatic1 wrote: »

I'm terminally hungover this morning and had to tell lies to get out of work.

your hangover is karmic paayback for the last time you pulled a sickie

saa

Flu lies have always worked, end up in hospital for two days I get fired.

Lesson learned never bring your contract home to read it, sign that shizz sign it noww!

pragmatic1

foxyboxer wrote: »

I haven't missed a day of work since 2002. :cool:


Lies make baby jesus cry.

So does **** but that never stopped you.

tightropetom

pragmatic1 wrote: »

I'm terminally hungover this morning and had to tell lies to get out of work. My arm is in such a bad way that I cant go in. But it will be magically better tomorrow. What lies do you use?

OP, I hope your work colleagues don't know your screen name on boards.ie (or your real name for that matter!)

foxyboxer

pragmatic1 wrote: »

So does **** but that never stopped you.

Are you implying that I am a wanker? :eek:

Gummy Panda

Just use the old "My ovaries hurt!" excuse

pragmatic1

foxyboxer wrote: »

Are you implying that I am a wanker?

Yeah your mum told me.

foxyboxer

pragmatic1 wrote: »

Yeah your mum told me.

http://cache.ohinternet.com/images/e/e6/Okay_guy.jpg

JeanLucPicard

You will have to take tomorrow too.

Not only does it make your "story" more credible but it also gives you the bonus of a long weekend.

Fremen

"My arm hurts".

Sorry, but that's an awful lie unless you're prepared to come in wearing a sling the next day. Try "I have food poisoning" next time.

Apolloyon

Just tell them that you're too awesome to go into work today. If they ask for clarification just keep repeating yourself. They'll either be convinced or think you've changed your meds so you'll get the day off for sure!

Vicxas

I just tell them that i have them 1 day being dead illnesses....

robbie_998

force madure day

John Doe1

say you have womens problems:D

Crazy Horse 6

I've used them all. Bad back is the best bar none. Doctor just writes the note for a tenner and a week off work. Remember i used that one for the France v Ireland game in Paris a few years back and then remember ****ting myself thinking what if the boss spots me in the crowd on the telly. :pac: Good times.

recyclebin

Doctor for a tenner? where????

df1985

"my doctor wants to see me later to discuss test results"


They wont dare ask you what its about.

Voodoomelon

I rang into work sick for the first time in 12.5 years recently with a vomiting bug. Even then I was thinking about going in.

Professey Chin

The Skuts

cosmicfart

Hi boss, very embarrassing and painful story but i wont be work today and will be walking strangley 2moro, u see my cock got stick in my zipper, well actually not my cock but my left testy and when I yanked the zipper up well u get the giz, the doc told me stay off my feet 2day as I might get prostate cancer or something mad if I put any undue stress on my knob. ok so grand see u 2moro.