Advicfe needed

G&T22

Hi all,
Trying not to waffle too much so to get on with it. I found out my current bf had some serious feelings for his ex and who is the mother of his son. they have a good relationship and i think she is a nice girl. i do get the impression that he still has feelings for her i know that he cares about her and i understand that but my gut feeling says otherwise. there have been a few eyebrow raising situations and he has denied any feelings towards her.

I also stumbled upon information about another lady who he seems to have an addiction to . Saying she is the most beautiful woman blah blah blah to be honest what i found i dont think was right as all this was going on when we were dating. i really like this guy and we are talking about renting a house together soon but i am unsure if i am just reading too much into it?

though anytime i have had this gut feeling its usually right be it a good situation or a bad one.
(just reading over this and to clarify he wasnt in contact with this other woman that i know of but commenting on a lot of her photos i would call it unhealthy!)

Daisy M

I would advise you not to move in with him until you have resolved any doubts you may have.
If you really believe he has strong feelings for his ex then I think its time to call it a day. The commenting on another womans photos in a frequent and complimentary manner is also call for concern.
You sound really unsure of him. Is this the type of relationship you want for the rest of your life?

Ickle Magoo

I would suggest you do not move in with someone - or even go out with someone - unless you are 100% happy. Life is too short for bad relationships, don't ignore the red flags.

All the best.

G&T22

Thanks for the replies its a decision i have to think long and hard about i have confronted him and he said that he has no feelings and that he is truly sorry for the other comments and he loves me etc and wont do it again.

my advice to myself would be to be very careful and to take it slow or just leave!

A0

G&T22 wrote: »

Thanks for the replies its a decision i have to think long and hard about i have confronted him and he said that he has no feelings and that he is truly sorry for the other comments and he loves me etc and wont do it again.

my advice to myself would be to be very careful and to take it slow or just leave!

Ah, close friendships with ex's :rolleyes:
Sounds good but make sure he doesn't get too "friendly" with his ex.

G&T22

i just dont want to be hurt anymore. have had a really hard time the last couple of years and now i finally think its my time to enjoy life. i know we cant stop living out of fear that something might happen as what kind of life would you lead then?!!

A0

G&T22 wrote: »

i just dont want to be hurt anymore. have had a really hard time the last couple of years and now i finally think its my time to enjoy life. i know we cant stop living out of fear that something might happen as what kind of life would you lead then?!!

Just tell him to man-up and stop any kind of "weird and over friendly / flirty" behaviour with other females. If he likes you, he'll do that and also won't bother commenting on other women pics, etc. It sounds a little childish to me. I personally comment on others pic, but there's a way of doing it...

curlzy

Hey OP,

I really feel for you because this is a very confusing situation. On one hand he has done nothing wrong technically other than be a bit thoughtless. On the other hand his thoughtlessness is in itself a red flag. Like how can he think calling a girl thats not you "the most beautiful girl in the world" is ok? I'm just wondering is he a "nice guy" or the type that enjoys keeping you guessing and insecure? I mean I have some gorgeous friends but my bf would NEVER describe them as beautiful, in fact if asked who he fancies he only ever says me, but then I do the same with him, I wouldn't want him ever feeling insecure. So yeah without knowing more about your bf it's hard to say. The closeness with the mother of his child is what would bother me the most to be honest. I really don't know if I would ever feel truly secure knowing that my BF still has caring feelings towards the mother of his child, in fact, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't. It really comes down to are you really in love with him or just get along well with him? If it's the latter then I myself would just finish it. I'm extremely loyal when it comes to relationships and expect the same from my partner, I never flirt with others etc. But other people seem to have very different rules to me. You need to figure out what you're ok with and proceed accordingly. Sorry can't be clearer than that really, you need to be very honest with yourself with regards to what you're ok with, don't "put up with it" if you really aren't ok with these things, life is way to short for that.

Best of luck.