Best Man Speech

Wompa1

I had the awful task of being my brother best man a few weeks ago. The only bad part of the job was the speech. I came up with what I thought was a good speech but the bride and groom asked me to show it to them beforehand because they were afraid it would be inappropriate.

I told them I wouldn't show it to them but I'd compromise and do something else. So I went for random.

I was wondering. Anybody who has had to be a Best Man before, did you have to get your speech pre-approved? Also does anyone actually enjoy having to do the speech.

Here is my speech I eventually did:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kZjnhW3RNsc

Unavailable for Comment

Nice and brief.

seamus

*cringe*

LeeHoffmann

I told them I wouldn't show it to them but I'd compromise and do something else. So I went for random.

you went for random....what does that mean?

Wompa1

Unavailable for Comment wrote: »

Nice and brief.

The original was about 6 minutes long. I didn't piss off the bride, so it was a job well done!

Wompa1

LeeHoffmann wrote: »

you went for random....what does that mean?

I picked a random irrelevant speech that I thought nobody would get. The reaction I wanted was silence and confusion. But people were kind of well on the sauce by the time it came around..if I said anything with my voice raised it would have got a reaction.

GavRedKing

I thought for best man speeches your meant to offend everyone?

bride, bride's parent's, tell stories of how the groom used to pull all the dirtiest women around before he met his bride.....ya know the usual.

godtabh

Look at me! LOOK AT ME!

smash

Would you not have just talked about your brother's obsession with coke and hookers and called the bride a slut like a normal best man?

Snakeblood

Wompa1 wrote: »

I had the awful task of being my brother best man a few weeks ago. The only bad part of the job was the speech. I came up with what I thought was a good speech but the bride and groom asked me to show it to them beforehand because they were afraid it would be inappropriate.

I told them I wouldn't show it to them but I'd compromise and do something else. So I went for random.

I was wondering. Anybody who has had to be a Best Man before, did you have to get your speech pre-approved? Also does anyone actually enjoy having to do the speech.

Here is my speech I eventually did:

[]

I did a speech that went down ok. Mostly it was filled with jokes rather than actual true anecdotes. It's easier that way.

I wouldn't ****ing post it publicly anywhere though.

bijapos

The kid had the right idea in getting the feck out of there, and a nice attempt to burn the place down with the candle.

Wompa1

smash wrote: »

Would you not have just talked about your brother being with hookers and called the bride a slut like a normal best man?

My original speech alluded to some of that stuff. But they spent a lot of money on the wedding and didn't want me to dirty it up so I agreed not to do it.

So has anyone actually been a best man before and did they have to get there speech approved?

Wompa1

Snakeblood wrote: »

I did a speech that went down ok. Mostly it was filled with jokes rather than actual true anecdotes. It's easier that way.

I wouldn't ****ing post it publicly anywhere though.

Why not post it? You think it would hurt you somehow?

foxyboxer

Have to do it next year and whilst I like the idea of having the whole room hanging on my every word, I'll be taking the boring, convential route.

Compliment the Bride.
Compliment the Bridesmaids.
Thank everyone for coming.
Toast the Bride and Groom.
Sit the f*ck down and start enjoying myself.

Because everyone will appreciate the brevity and allow them to get back to drinking.

Snakeblood

Wompa1 wrote: »

Why not post it? You think it would hurt you somehow?

Nah, I don't think looking for attention hurts people. Makes them look needy though.

Wompa1

godtabh wrote: »

Look at me! LOOK AT ME!

Or don't. Sorry for the extra mouse clicks for you to click on the post and then click out. Sorry Bro'

Skid

Shame the Parents of the Bride and Groom aren't in the shot.

What did they make of it?

Wompa1

Snakeblood wrote: »

Nah, I don't think looking for attention hurts people. Makes them look needy though.

I'll accept that. Don't mind looking needy

cosmicfart

marriage is for losers

shangri la

good stuff.

Wompa1

Skid wrote: »

Shame the Parents of the Bride and Groom aren't in the shot.

What did they make of it?

Mother of the bride loved it. Father didn't say anything but her brother was a big movie buff and got what it was from the second line and loved it.

My dad was ok with it. My mother loved it.

One my uncles told me it was complete ****e.

Sea Sharp

Shameless attention seeking!:rolleyes:

Here's mine: :pac:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7O__76ikR1M&feature=related

He didn't like being called a fat spoofer.

Wompa1

Sea Sharp wrote: »

Shameless attention seeking!:rolleyes:

Here's mine: :pac:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7O__76ikR1M&feature=related

He didn't like being called a fat spoofer.

That's a good speech! Fair play for having so many jokes. The Playstation punchline was gold. It's not easy

jonnyfingers

I started my best man speech at my brothers wedding with the famous line "A wise man once told me that the best man's speech should only last as long as it takes the groom to make love..........................Thank you. *sit down*"

Rest of the speech was a doddle after that.

Sea Sharp

Wompa1 wrote: »

That's a good speech! Fair play for having so many jokes. The Playstation punchline was gold. It's not easy

I was well proud of that one. You're right, it's not easy. I was a nervous wreck the whole day. Never again!!

hondasam

I hate all these stupid speeches and that was the worst I have ever seen.

jonnyfingers

hondasam wrote: »

I hate all these stupid speeches and that was the worst I have ever seen.

Ah Scrooge, tis yourself! November's a bit early to be seeing you out and about.

Immaculate Pasta

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7wrmYVzXcQs

:cool:

Your a bloke. :eek:

Cee-Jay-Cee

I was at a wedding recently where the best man got totally ****faced before the meal and called the bride by the wrong name three times and ended up slurring his way through the most boring mundane speach i have ever heard. It was a total diaster from beginning to end. The groom then stood to speak, started off very well and then produced a page and read like a 10year old stuttering over words and pausing between words so that the sentences made no sense. It was one of the worst speaches(es) i have ever heard!

TheZohanS

jonnyfingers wrote: »

I started my best man speech at my brothers wedding with the famous line "A wise man once told me that the best man's speech should only last as long as it takes the groom to make love..........................Thank you. *sit down*"

Rest of the speech was a doddle after that.

I opened with "I asked the priest for advice on writing my speech and this is what he told me: a good speech should be like a womans skirt, long enough to cover the essentials and short enough to keep you interested".

hondasam

jonnyfingers wrote: »

Ah Scrooge, tis yourself! November's a bit early to be seeing you out and about.

enjoy the view while you can

smash

At a friends wedding a few months ago the best man said he didn't know how his speech was going to go down so he rehearsed at the local retirement home, there wasn't much reaction but they all pissed themselves anyway.

I thought it was hilarious. The bride's grandmother didn't.

I Heart Internet

Did it recently for a brother. Nothing to it.

Write it down word for word
Then bullet point it for the day ( the important/good stuff will stick, the awkward bits will be ironed out)
Thank everyone on behalf of the couple and thank the groom for asking you
Drop in a few jokes - open with one. Once you get your first genuine laugh you'll settle right in.
Toast the bridesmaid and finally toast (sincerely) the couple

Don't feel compelled to find/think of zany, stories from his past. They're often very weak anyway.

If your nervous, have a few drinks at dinner until you're talking nonstop to the person next to you. Stop at that.

Be genuine and don't read it.

puddinboxxx

Loved it...but Ya shoulda mentioned the boat

jonnyfingers

TheZohan wrote: »

I opened with "I asked the priest for advice on writing my speech and this is what he told me: a good speech should be like a womans skirt, long enough to cover the essentials and short enough to keep you interested".

Another good one.

The key to a good best man's speech is to write a good heartfelt speech and slip in a few jokes every now and then. Embrace the famous one liners. They're famous for a reason, because they work and are funny.

Too many time I've watched the best man take the piss out of the groom and it just was not funny. By all means take the piss, but on something the groom finds funny about himself.

Then wrap it all up within 5-10 minutes and let everyone get a drink!

Jess16

LeeHoffmann wrote: »

you went for random....what does that mean?

It's a euphemism for when something is supposed to be funny but just comes out weird

AnonoBoy

Just sob quietly into the microphone for a minute at the start and then mutter, "You stole him from me." Drop the microphone and storm off.

Reg'stoy

AnonoBoy wrote: »

Just sob quietly into the microphone for a minute at the start and then mutter, "You stole him from me." Drop the microphone and storm off.

Do tell Anonoboy, do tell!!!

biko

AH->Weddings