Reported to social services

eviltwin

Just looking for some help and advice really.

I got a phone call from a social worker last night to say she was calling me due to a tip off from my daughters school.

A parent had gone in to see the principal to say that I travel a lot with work and that when I am away my 14 yr old daughter is left to care for my 2 yr old son. This person also said that my daughter was having a relationship with an older male who lives next door to me and that I had sent her to live with him.

Its all bull of course...I don't work, I certainly don't travel anywhere, I have no male neighbours and I haven't kicked my daughter out of the house.

I have a feeling there is a particular individual behind this but I can't find out who so its all just speculation.

Whats odd is the complaint was made about me alone, not my husband so it seems I am being the only one looked into.

I am very concerned with this...worried sick to be honest. The social worker said she will "be in touch"...I don't know what to expect.

nesf

If the charges are false you've nothing to worry about. If you're not working away from home that'll be very obvious from the start.

themadchef

They will call, have a cup of tea, set their mind and yours at ease and if things are the way you say they are (im not doubting you here) that will be the end of that.

Vicious people do things like this all the time for various different reasons, the social services are well used to it However, there are a % of really honest desperate cases though, so for every 5, 10 or 20 crazy people the 1 or 2 (no i dont know the stats either) that need help make it worth the effort imo)

Hope everything gets cleared up quickly for you.

eviltwin

Will I be allowed to find out the name of the person who made the report?

Lola92

I think through freedom of information you might be able to get the persons name at some point.

Second what others say above, although it may be upsetting for you etc., it should be a fairly straight forward case of a home visit. If you aren't working then maybe see if you could get a letter from social welfare to prove it? It might save some more running about and obviously would show to the social worker that ye are open and have nothing to hide.

Unless you have a reason to worry then don't

Morag

eviltwin wrote: »

Will I be allowed to find out the name of the person who made the report?

No you won't, but if the report is found to be false then it will be noted and if this person does it again then it will be on record that they have made false accusations.

The report opens a file on you and your family, if/when the accusations are proved to be false and unfounded then it will be noted in the file and the file closed in two years if there are no further reports.

As well as dealing with the social workers, given the accusations came via the school then I suggest going to talk to the school about it. Explain that they are false and that you will be considering defamation proceedings if it happens again.

eviltwin

Thank you for the replies...very upset, I know I have nothing to worry about, I am a great mum but I am sad that this might hang over me for two years.

My husband and I were hoping to foster a child next year so I imagine we will be stuck off the list over this So angry someone can come out with a pack of lies and waste the time of the HSE and just get away with it :mad:

KittyeeTrix

Aw Eviltwin, that's a terrible thing to have happen to you especially in light of your future plan to foster....:(

Hope it is resolved soon

Morag

eviltwin if what has been reported is that so completely not the facts ie rubbish about you travelling, then I am pretty sure it won't count against you becoming foster parents but you may have to wait until the case file is closed which is that two years.

Sounds like someone was being really mean and nasty and trying to take you down a peg or two. Like I said make sure you talk to the school as well and let them know the facts and that what they were told was very incorrect.

Make sure you do a follow up and that there wasn't a mix up, could it be that there is another teen in that situation and they got a name wrong?

Pending

If you persist in trying to find out who it was you will be able to, as you do have a right to know. I'm not sure if it's under the `freedom of information' legislation or some other way but the SW should be able to tell you.

The reason I know is I am currently involved in a child protection issue/report and while I wanted it to be anonymous I was informed by the SWs that while they won't say initially that it came from us, if the person about whom the report is made persists in seeking the identity of the informant then they would have the right to find out.

CrazyRabbit

eviltwin wrote: »

Will I be allowed to find out the name of the person who made the report?

Only with a court order AFAIK. They have to protect the identity of people so that they are willing to report real abuse/issues. Judge would probably give one though as this is harassment.

EGAR

I have no experience with this at all but find it very strange that a social worker would ring you, basically tipping you off instead of making a house call? And then going into so much details as to who said what and to whom?

Are you sure that caller was really a social worker?

implausible

EGAR wrote: »

I have no experience with this at all but find it very strange that a social worker would ring you, basically tipping you off instead of making a house call? And then going into so much details as to who said what and to whom?

Are you sure that caller was really a social worker?

Maybe the social worker has her doubts too. OP, I would definitely contact the school and let them know that this allegation has been made and is completely untrue. It'll give them a heads-up about any future allegations that are made.

Unfortunately schools and social services are used to dealing with crazies like this, but because of mandatory reporting and the fear of missing something, everything has to be recorded, reported and looked into, even when they have their suspicions that it isn't true.

kippy

Sharrow wrote: »

No you won't, but if the report is found to be false then it will be noted and if this person does it again then it will be on record that they have made false accusations.

The report opens a file on you and your family, if/when the accusations are proved to be false and unfounded then it will be noted in the file and the file closed in two years if there are no further reports.

As well as dealing with the social workers, given the accusations came via the school then I suggest going to talk to the school about it. Explain that they are false and that you will be considering defamation proceedings if it happens again.

Defamation proceedings against who?
Schools are legally obliged to report such concerns for investigation by the various organisations associated with childrens welfare.

nesf

EGAR wrote: »

I have no experience with this at all but find it very strange that a social worker would ring you, basically tipping you off instead of making a house call? And then going into so much details as to who said what and to whom?

Are you sure that caller was really a social worker?

Social workers can already be seen as the enemy by a parent, turning up unannounced will just make this more likely and put the parent on the defensive from the outset. By calling first and arranging a visit they're far more likely to put the parent at ease.

qwertytlk

Aw eviltwin. Im so sorry for what's happened. Some people really are just sick in the head...and also jealous, twisted-you get my drift.
It happened to a cousin of mine a few years ago. She moved onto a new road in an area that she had always perceived to be ok, however when she moved in she soon found out tha the area , or at least her neighbours, had gone considerably down hill. Anyway very long story short, she had a Really nice car, brand new for that year(which she actually won through a credit union draw)and a bit of a posher accent than these one or two particular neighbours. My cousin is also stunning and her and the kids always well dressed. Anyway it started with petty jealously over her car, them thinking and saying she had 'a load of cash stashed off side' and escalated to her bring reported to the social welfare, over the car and also a claim that she had her boyfriend living with her and they were both working full time. Even though she didn't have a partner and the only male who visited was her brother and the only full time job she had was being a mother ! Then reports were made to social services about various silly and untrue things, an example being that she was hitting her kids. Anyway social worker called her, she was shocked and upset, as you would be, and gave her the 'courtesy call' you seem to have gotten. Then made an appointment to come and visit, which they did. They went through all the claims, she tried her best to explain the situation with the neighbours. They spoke to the kids etc and then said she thought everything seemed fine but they would be in touch after a team meeting. She came again to visit and said the case would be closed in 3-6 months if no further claims were made. In the mean time my cousin moved house. It never happened again aft that, thank god. Anyway the social workers have a duty of care kids so obviously have to investigate every single claim made, but at this stage in their careers id say they can spot the true claims from the ones made by jealous nosey neighbours!as happened in my cousins case. So my advice would be to let the s.worker come, be open and honest, as your doing nothing wrong so have nothing to hide. I would imagine she will be able to see this for what it is. False claims made by someone who is petty and jealous. Also if i were you d mention the foster/adopting and see what she says as im sure they would be able to tell you how this may or may not affect u.s.
Best of luck with it all take care x

eviltwin

Thanks so much for all the replies.

It seems to be all over and done with touch wood. I took the bull by the horn and went into the HSE office to speak to the social worker. She is happy that the information given to the school was false. The person who made the allegation was able to give dates I was out of the country and I can prove that I was here, the person making the complaint gave the wrong address where I live etc etc so it doesn't add up. The social worker has told me they are happy to leave it at that.

She more or less confirmed that it was a malicious report and I have a feeling I know who is behind it. I can't prove it of course but I should be able to get the name via the Freedom of Information Act.

Sadly I am still "on hold" for fostering with no idea as to when we can proceed which has upset me but heigh ho.

BostonB

Will they not follow it up if its malicious?

nesf

BostonB wrote: »

Will they not follow it up if its malicious?

As far as I know (and I could be wrong!) what they do is basically put a black mark against that person's name and any future complaints from them won't be entertained.

MagicMarker

That's defamation afaic, find out who reported you and consult a solicitor.

eviltwin

The person who made the claim - if I am right of course - works for the HSE in the same office as the social worker but in another dept. I can only imagine she somehow saw our fostering application and decided to scupper it but I can't prove it. However the way the social worker was happy just to close it without any further checks makes me think I am right.

Morag

kippy wrote: »

Defamation proceedings against who?
Schools are legally obliged to report such concerns for investigation by the various organisations associated with childrens welfare.

The social workers can't tell her but leaning on the school may result in them revealing who it was.

BostonB

I'd want some form of official response to a malicious report like that. They shouldn't be allowed to get away with that.

kippy

Sharrow wrote: »

The social workers can't tell her but leaning on the school may result in them revealing who it was.

So you are asking the OP to threaten defamation proceedings against the school in order to get them to name an individual who has made a report to them? Don't you think the principle and others within the school have more to be worrying about and that they were only doing what they are legally required to do in such a circumstance?

eviltwin

There is no point in me getting onto the school I will just hit a brick wall. The only option I have is Freedom of Information and even that is not guaranteed but I am going to give it a go.

I agree with Boston, I don't think anyone should be allowed to waste the HSE's time when they are under pressure as it is. Its wrong someone can make a fake claim out of spite and I am my husband are still not allowed to continue with our plans to foster. There should be some kind of punishment.

BostonB

I'd exhaust all the official channels, and the FOI. Put some pressure on the person who made the accusation.

Big Bag of Chips

Are you ever in the company of the person you suspect made the claim?

If it was me, I'd be dropping not too subtle hints. I'd let them know a false allegation was made, it was proven to be false and that you are now looking into taking legal action against the accuser when (not if) you are given the name.

implausible

eviltwin wrote: »

It seems to be all over and done with touch wood. I took the bull by the horn and went into the HSE office to speak to the social worker. She is happy that the information given to the school was false.

That's great that you got it sorted OP. While not advising you to 'lean on' the school, it would be a good idea to inform them of the outcome of this, in case it happens again. The school has essentially been used in this situation to facilitate a malicious complaint and should be made aware of it, so their time isn't wasted again.

sophia25

While I agree it was horrific what the op was put through, I do think anonymity needs to be respected for reporters otherwise people may be afraid to report genuine cases. A false report is awful but better than people so afraid to report that kids get abused. I know it was a worry op, but you were innocent and it was sorted, surely that is better if it does save some abused children in the future?

Big Bag of Chips

Anonymity should be protected in genuine cases I agree. In malicious cases where blatant lies are told, not just a concerned person misinterpreting a situation, then I don't think anonymity should be protected. And the person should be prosecuted.

If this person is who the OP thinks it is, then they deliberately went to the school to report it instead of going directly to the HSE. If she/he was that concerned, and works in the HSE, why not go directly to the social workers, who they probably know, with their concern, and get it investigated as a matter of urgency?

Instead they went to the school, ensuring maximum embarrassment for the OP, and trying to protect their own skin by not (falsely) reporting to their own colleagues.

It was a cowardly and malicious thing to do and I think the OP has a right to know.

If it turned out to be true, then I would say the reporting person should have the right the anonymity.

kippy

Big Bag of Chips wrote: »

Anonymity should be protected in genuine cases I agree. In malicious cases where blatant lies are told, not just a concerned person misinterpreting a situation, then I don't think anonymity should be protected. And the person should be prosecuted.

If this person is who the OP thinks it is, then they deliberately went to the school to report it instead of going directly to the HSE. If she/he was that concerned, and works in the HSE, why not go directly to the social workers, who they probably know, at least to see with their concern, and get it investigated as a matter of urgency?

Instead they went to the school, ensuring maximum embarrassment for the OP, and trying to protect their own skin by not (falsely) reporting to their own colleagues.

It was a cowardly and malicious thing to do and I think the OP has a right to know.

If it turned out to be true, then I would say the reporting person should have the right the anonymity.

While I can see this from the OP's perspective one has to be careful about this kind of thing.
What if the report was made to the school in the best of faith. The reporter suspected it and reported it in case what she thought was true, when it turns out to be false after a proper investigation, is it correct to divulge the reporters name just because they were incorrect?
(I am not saying this is what happened, but setting precident of giving out the names of who has reported someone on a one off if the report turns out to be incorrect is not a great thing to do)
Obviously if the reporter has a history of false reports or reports against the same person, then that is a different story.

rubberdiddies

If it happened to me and I knew it was just malicious I would be contacting a solicitor to discuss my options.

In my opinion a person who does that has to be somewhat unstable and as such could be liable to do it again. If you are correct in the assumption that they work for the HSE then they are abusing their position and there's a possibility that no 'black mark' will be recorded against them

kelle

OP, I was wondering if it might be possible your older child told a white lie to make herself appear more grown-up or mature to her peers - maybe she heard others saying they were independent and their parents allow them to go places or stay home on their own or have older boyfriends , and decided she had to pretend to do similar so she would "fit in". And then a parent was alerted to this and was concerned?

Maybe it's rubbish, but I remember being 14 and trying to be part of the crowd. And I know lots of my classmates told stuff that was pure fabrication.

Anyway i'm pleased it appears to be sorted, but you'll be on tenterhooks until you find out who told on you and how they came up with the story!