Wedding photo's on Social network sites??

Ben1977

My wife to be and myself are just looking for peoples opinions regarding wedding photo's being uploaded to network sites?

Would it be ok for me to ask our guests during my speech not to post any photo's on these sites?

Anyone been to a wedding were this has been asked? What was the general response?

Opinions valued.

Lola92

I think it would be fair enough to ask them not to put photos of you, your partner or any children etc. up on social networking sites. I don't know if this is all you are concerned about or general photos of guests (with their consent of course) also?

Do you mind me asking why you want to make this request? Hopefully the guests at your wedding will respect your wishes on the matter in any case.

milkandsugar

Hi. We are getting married next year and I also plan on asking people not to post up pictures. Mostly because I like to be private about things. I asked when my daughter was christened and nobody had a problem with it. But then again our friends and family know what i am like about pictures being put on the internet. Besides your friends and family can always e mail them privately to each other.

melekalikimaka

i would also consider copyright issues with the images as unless specified in writing the images are the photographers and you are using them illegally and could be liable if the photographer decided to charge for your use

Gatica

I don't think the OP is worried about the legal issue with people posting their own photos of the event on facebook/bebo (no legal issue there in fact), but their privacy being compromised by having pictures of their special day being broadcast for all (contacts of contacts and possibly public depending on a person's profile) to see.
It's a fair enough request, and if they are friends they would respect your wishes.

Dolbert

I was a guest at a wedding this year where the bride and groom are very private and asked that their wedding pictures not be plastered all over facebook - it was fine, everyone respected their wishes. They put up one photo themselves, only visible to friends. It was a really nice touch!

Cathmandooo

I've never been to a wedding where this has been mentioned and to be honest I'd probably be a little peeved. Emphasis on the 'little' though, it would be a 30 second feeling of 'god they think they're special don't they' and then back to normal. I'd comply with their wishes of course.

I just think I'd be honoured if people were to put up photos of me on their networking sites and that most pages are clamped down these days to friends only anyway so I wouldn't see it as showing the world. As it's their photos I don't think I have any right to dictate what they do with them. Plus as it's a wedding I'd hope to be looking my best in the photos and would rather them than awful drunken photos on a night in the pub.

My 2 cents anyway.

BTW if you are planning on doing it I'd mention it well before the speeches, I've seen plenty of occasions where photos have gone up on facebook long before the speeches take place, usually to include friends who can't be there on the day as they're dying to see the beautiful bride.

PCPhoto

was at a wedding last year (or earlier this year) ...

myself and the Girlfriend were discussing about putting the images up and emailing them to the couple when we received an email asking that the images do not get put up on facebook.

we obliged and emailed them a few and emailed some to other guests.

silly

I don't think the speech is the place to say it really.
If you are on fb yourself or have most emails you could just ask them before the wedding that way.

Ben1977

We are not on facebook. My wife to be was on it a few years ago and just found photo's of her plastered all over the place without her giving the ok. When she wanted to put up photo's she called her friends an asked if it was ok before up loading them.

People who put photo's of her on facebook wouldn't allow her to put photo's of them on facebook!

When our 2 children were born there was photo's everywhere she looked. She got so upset she left facebook.

My understanding that facebook is your contact page and a means to keep in contact of friends and family. Therefore why should other people's photo's be plastered on their facebook pages?

Some people are just private, we happen to be a couple of them. We just don't want our photo's of the family all over facebook.

If my son wants a facebook page when he is old enough then I've no objections, but until then I'm his guardian and I'll protect him and my family the best way I can see fit.

Cathmandooo

Best get the word out to your guests before the wedding that you'd rather photos of you aren't put up on facebook then. Don't leave it until the speeches, it's not something you should be giving a seconds thought to on your special day!

Bride2012

I was thinking about this issue too for my own wedding. I use facebook for keeping in contact but I have NEVER loaded anybody's photo onto my page but several times have had the very unpleasant notification of 'you've been tagged by___' which may have been up on my profile for days before I can untag them, usually God awful too. Hate that part of Facebook!

I think that speeches may be too late, some guests might have done it already some might be tipsy and some might think that it's a joke. I'm edging towards an explanation on the invitation.

superstoner90

Ben1977 wrote: »

My wife to be and myself

congrats dont ask dont tell

Borderfox

I would agree with well before the speeches, some weddings I have shot they were uploading pictures after the church. On the invites is the best bet as said above

Miss Fluff

We're planning on asking people the same and I think we have every right to, I totally see where you are coming from OP.

I've pulled right back from Facebook, as has my OH, and I'm not comfortable with having our special day plastered all over the place. I know anyone we are asking to the wedding won't object though.

I think maybe make it clear beforehand and people will be cool about it and respect your privacy. For instance I have a little nephew who I adore and is THE cutest bubba ever but not for a second would I dream of posting a photo of him on Facebook. My brother and his wife are not on Facebook and I think it improper to post photos of someone else's kids on there. Likewise I don't want our wedding day plastered all over the place.Some people just love the attention and want every single facet of their life up there (I can't help but think of a friend who posted pics of their newborn in an incubator (yes seriously :rolleyes:) - others don't. Just say it to your guests and they will be cool.

Daisy M

I would not be at all miffed if I was at a wedding and this was requested by the bride and groom, however I dont know if the speech is the right way to make the request but having said I cant think of another suggestion where your message will reach everybody. Maybe you could make up a little limerick with your facebook request in it, that way you will get the point across but in a lighthearted manner.

Bride2012

I was thinking about this again today so decided to do a bit of a search. In another network a bride was talking about trying on her wedding dress with her chief bridesmaid and checking her facebook account a few days later to find a tagged photo of her in the shop, no make-up on and in her wedding dress that hadn't been taken in yet! My jaw dropped at this one!

A total ban on photos might be hard, people might want to put photos of each other up but I think that requesting yourself out of it is ok though.
I think that the invitation route might be the best, along the line of;

We invite you to share this intimate and joyous occasion with us. Because of the sentiment this day brings to us, we humbly and kindly ask that no pictures of the ceremony, bride or groom be posted on any online social networks.

Or saying to respect those who could not be invited etc.

Inviting them to share their photos on passworded photo shares like
http://www.shutterfly.com/ or photobucket could help to stop people from feeling that they can't share them at all. The username and password could be only given to the invitees so it's totally private to only them (this is a great alternative to disposible cameras on the tables as you'll have digital photos from all aspects and anglles of the day).

Gatica

That's like a 100 times worse! no one has seen the dress, and there it is for all to see before the wedding. What was the bridesmaid thinking?!
I think I'd fire her off her bridesmaid duties for a mess up like that...

Kooli

I'm someone who LOVED seeing photos of my wedding appearing on Facebook in the following days (cos I was SO excited and happy and hated having to wait for the official ones and had none of my own to look at!)

However, I totally respect the wishes of others who don't want the same, particularly those who aren't on FB themselves.

But during the speeches? Noooooo way!!! Not cos it would be too late, but because guests in general don't like being told what to do and it would be hard to strike a light 'tone' with it, so I try to do in a much more subtle way than that!
I think the invite would be fine. Or I've heard of people leaving a card at each place setting with the details of an online photo account (like shutterfly or something) where photos can be shared, and a request that they aren't put on Facebook.
Yes you might miss the odd one that happened at the church, but I'd say that's pretty rare, and is usually only done by close mates, who would probably already know that you wouldn't want that.

ABajaninCork

I was asked by some of my guests if I minded them putting up a few pix from my wedding. I didn't mind as it was a sneak peek before I got the official photos!

I also made a photo album from my official pictures for all my friends and family to see, but didn't put any pictures of the children (apart from my niece and nephew who are on FB). FB works for me as that's the way I keep in touch with friends and relatives abroad.

I have my settings to 'Friends only', and no-one can tag any pictures of me without my permission.

But I totally get the OP's wish to preserve their privacy. However, I don't think that putting the request in the speeches (when people are well on the way to being 'lashed') is the way to go. I would put a little line in the invitations.

Hope you manage to get it sorted!

kandr10

I've never once been asked for permission for photos of me to be put on fb, nor have I ever requested permission. In saying that, I know some people who don't like to be tagged, so I don't do that.

I would certainly not post pics if someone requested that I don't though. No issue there. As others have said, an email or text beforehand might be better than saying it in the speeches.

Minier81

It might be a good idea to put it on the invites. As somebody already pointed out, the speeches may be too late.

I think its a perfectly acceptable request, but do make the request as most people will assume it fine otherwise.

Sunny Dayz

Kooli wrote: »

I'm someone who LOVED seeing photos of my wedding appearing on Facebook in the following days (cos I was SO excited and happy and hated having to wait for the official ones and had none of my own to look at!)

I was the very same! Many of the guests had to go home the day after the wedding, so I didn't get to see any photos. At least when people had uploaded a few photos days later, we had some to look at until the album was sorted!

The Cool

A couple I know that got married lately, had joined / friended the Facebook page of their wedding photographer. Three days after their wedding, as they were off on their month-long honeymoon travelling Route 66, the photographer uploaded the couple's professional wedding photos to Facebook and publicly tagged them in every single one. So the couple were away, not a care in the world and everyone back home had access to their photos - ones of the bride getting ready at home and everything. If that happened to me I'd go nuts!!!!

random10

You see that's where people are different I suppose. On my wedding day I will be wearing the most expensive dress I will ever by and have my hair and make up looking the best it ever will and have a professional photographer doing his best to make me look my best, so if he wants to share my photos go ahead. It's the best I'll ever look, I want the world to see it!!

SillyMcCarthy

This guy must have a deal done with OK magazine!!! :rolleyes:

Diddler1977

Maybe put a request up on Facebook? That means all of your friends who use the social networking site will see it and they'll know your wishes.

Why bother people who don't use FB with your request?

jonniebgood1

Perhaps I am reading this incorrectly but the self-importance of the OP's potential request to guests astounds me. Where would you draw the line? If you don't trust your guests judgement on putting photos online then why are you inviting them to the wedding. Maybe you should ask the guests not to talk on the phone about your wedding also. I realise that is not particularly helpful but I guarantee it is what some of your guests will think when you start telling them this.

Caraville

One of my best friends got married earlier this year and just sent us a text asking us not to put up any photos on Facebook. So we didn't. Don't see what the problem is, some people just like being more private. I can understand that, I hate being tagged in photos and have repeatedly asked friends not to do it. You can fix your settings though so that you are asked to approve the tag before anyone sees it, which helps alright, but even still the photo is up there and if it's one you don't like there isn't anything you can do about it.

I would definitely make the request well before the speeches though, as said earlier, photos can go up long before the reception part. Putting up your request on actual Facebook is a good idea but seeing as you're not on it, that doesn't help- perhaps you could ask someone close to you who is on Facebook to do it?

stinkle

Not sure what I think about this for my *own* wedding, but I respect other people's wishes. One of my cousins got married abroad last year, his sister is ADDICTED to taking millions of photos, putting them all up on facebook and tagging everyone in them, whether they like it or not. I wasn't able to attend the wedding, and was surprised to see that she hadn't any photos up on fb, but I guess her brother and his bride must have specified that they didn't want her or anyone else upload any, which to me seems totally fair. It was actually nice just seeing the professional photos in the end for a change.

Not sure if I'd do it myself, the only weddings I have gone to are mates weddings, I only bothered putting up pix for one of them so they could be shared with the happy couple and other mates, but at the same time I had high privacy settings and never tag anyone anyway.

Bride2012

jonniebgood1 wrote: »

Perhaps I am reading this incorrectly but the self-importance of the OP's potential request to guests astounds me. Where would you draw the line? If you don't trust your guests judgement on putting photos online then why are you inviting them to the wedding. Maybe you should ask the guests not to talk on the phone about your wedding also. I realise that is not particularly helpful but I guarantee it is what some of your guests will think when you start telling them this.

How is asking not to be plastered on the internet astounding?!?!?

username123

I can understand the bride and groom asking that no photos of them or their family are put on Facebook but Im not sure you can stop people putting up pics of themselves at the wedding.

I dont really get what the big deal is though. Maybe Im missing something, but unless you go out in public with your face covered all the time there could be images of you in existance from cctv cameras or other people taking photographs. Its not like we can prevent our image from being captured without our knowledge if we go outside.

As for images being on the internet, why is that a problem? People who know you will recognise you, people who dont will just see a stranger in a picture. I dont really understand the notion of not wanting people to 'see' you - you get seen everyday by strangers and by people who know you. Unless a posted picture is particularly embarrassing or rude - why would someone care?

On top of that, would the OP be annoyed if people bring cameras and take pictures at the wedding and then personally show those pictures to people they know - how is that different to the pictures being shown on the internet? People will still get to see them. Unless its usage people are worried about but I cant for the life of me think of any sinister usage that a bunch of pics of someones wedding would be used for?

Gatica

You can't stop people from putting up pictures that they take in general, even if it's of you. It's their copyright, so to speak. However, I think that if you ask friends to respect your wishes about pictures from/at your wedding, your friends would be happy to do that for you.

MIRMIR82

A friend of mine posted a picture of a girl i know on facebook from her wedding day and she genuinely looked a bit crap - obviously taken later on in the celebrations - i'd be raging if a bad one of me was posted before the 'nice/professional' ones were put up

jonniebgood1

Bride2012 wrote: »

How is asking not to be plastered on the internet astounding?!?!?

Because if you don't trust your guests judgement on putting photos online then why are you inviting them to the wedding.

ElleEm

I use Facebook, so wouldn't have a problem with my wedding pics going up, but I would prefer it to be the day AFTER my wedding.

An old colleague of mine got married recently, and I couldn't make the wedding.
I was shocked to see as she walked down the aisle, there were photos uploaded on FB by a mutual friend. Then minutes after her first dance, there were more uploaded by another friend.

I would want people who I invited to be present on my wedding day, and not concerned with uploading photos at every stage.

The Lovely Muffin

jonniebgood1 wrote: »

Because if you don't trust your guests judgement on putting photos online then why are you inviting them to the wedding.

You invite them because you want them there to share in your joy on the happiest day of your life and because you want them to be a part of your day.

You don't invite your guests "just" to take photos and plaster them all over FB.

OP, like others here suggested, maybe send out a text/email before the wedding and ask that no photos of you and your bride be uploaded.

jonniebgood1

Purple_Bobbin wrote: »

You invite them because you want them there to share in your joy on the happiest day of your life and because you want them to be a part of your day.

You don't invite your guests "just" to take photos and plaster them all over FB.

OP, like others here suggested, maybe send out a text/email before the wedding and ask that no photos of you and your bride be uploaded.

Thats fair enough. I agree that you want them to enjoy themselves. My point is that where do you stop when you begin setting the terms of this enjoyment.

jackofalltrades

jonniebgood1 wrote:

Because if you don't trust your guests judgement on putting photos online then why are you inviting them to the wedding.

It's highly unlikely at a typical wedding that all of your guests would know your feelings about putting photo's of you up on social networking sites and what levels of privacy you are comfortable with. If they did and I genuinely trusted them I would be happy to leave it up to their judgement.

I was at a wedding recently where the bride specifically request in her speech that if people did upload photos on Facebook that they set the number of people who could view the photos to a minimum.

IMHO asking guest to not put up pictures on Facebook and the likes is a reasonable request.

rainbowtrout

jonniebgood1 wrote: »

Because if you don't trust your guests judgement on putting photos online then why are you inviting them to the wedding.

If I was getting married I would have people at it that I'm not friends with on any social networking site and would be completely unaware of how they spend their time online. I'd be inviting them because I wanted them there not because I approve/disapprove of their social networking habits.

Also I don't upload photos of nights out/holidays etc to facebook, I prefer not to have photos of myself splashed all over the internet. Surprisingly there are many people who don't want every detail of their lives immortalised online for all and sundry to see so it's not an unreasonable request for the OP to make.

It saddens me a little to think that one of the 'terms of enjoyment' of the guest would be that they have to spend the day at the wedding on their phone uploading photos. It's a bit sad. It just smacks of that 'aren't I so cool, and have a hectic social life, I've just taken 300 photos at a wedding and have spent the whole evening uploading and tagging them to show how interesting my weekend was' instead of actually having a good time at the wedding

jonniebgood1

jackofalltrades wrote: »

IMHO asking guest to not put up pictures on Facebook and the likes is a reasonable request.

rainbowtrout wrote: »

It saddens me a little to think that one of the 'terms of enjoyment' of the guest would be that they have to spend the day at the wedding on their phone uploading photos. It's a bit sad. It just smacks of that 'aren't I so cool, and have a hectic social life, I've just taken 300 photos at a wedding and have spent the whole evening uploading and tagging them to show how interesting my weekend was' instead of actually having a good time at the wedding

You should not feel 'sad' if a guest finds a way of enjoying themselves that you do not share. I think people should live and let live. No need to try and control other peoples social networking habits just because of ones own ego. Now I have no idea what tritter is but I certainly wouldnt tell someone at my wedding not to use it in reference to me, so why would I do this for facebook? Perhaps people should ban cameras totally from their weddings? Hell -why stop there people should not be allowed look at the Bride and groom incase they can sketch the image later on!!! (The point being where does the controlling of guests behaviour stop).

lazygal

We married recently. We had a line in our information sheets stating:
We kindly ask that guests respect the privacy of our families and refrain from posting pictures of the bridal party on social networking site. We appreciate your understanding and look forward to seeing you on the day.

We did this for a few reasons. Neither of us ever posts pics on FB. None of our parents are on FB and were very uncomfortable with the idea that their images could be posted without their knowledge, even though they are not on FB. We didn't want intimate photos of our wedding service online for people we don't know to see.

Everyone respected our requests, we got no hassle about it and several friends have said they wished they had done the same or will do the same in future. We've already received one invite with the same request on it and I think it will become a feature in future.

Some people don't mind pics on FB, fair enough. But I don't like them, therefore I don't post pics of me or anyone else, so we felt we were well within our rights to ask people not to post images of us when we don't post ourselves.

iguana

ElleEm wrote: »

I use Facebook, so wouldn't have a problem with my wedding pics going up, but I would prefer it to be the day AFTER my wedding.

An old colleague of mine got married recently, and I couldn't make the wedding.
I was shocked to see as she walked down the aisle, there were photos uploaded on FB by a mutual friend. Then minutes after her first dance, there were more uploaded by another friend.

I would want people who I invited to be present on my wedding day, and not concerned with uploading photos at every stage.

To be fair about that, they were quite likely taking photos on a device connected to their FB page which automatically uploads all saved photos. I find lately that a lot of things are so interconnected it's the exact same amount of effort to not post on FB as it is to post.

rainbowtrout

jonniebgood1 wrote: »

You should not feel 'sad' if a guest finds a way of enjoying themselves that you do not share. I think people should live and let live. No need to try and control other peoples social networking habits just because of ones own ego. Now I have no idea what tritter is but I certainly wouldnt tell someone at my wedding not to use it in reference to me, so why would I do this for facebook? Perhaps people should ban cameras totally from their weddings? Hell -why stop there people should not be allowed look at the Bride and groom incase they can sketch the image later on!!! (The point being where does the controlling of guests behaviour stop).

It's not about wanting to control guests behaviour, it's people who don't like having every moment of their life splashed all over the internet asking people to respect their wishes. Nothing egotistical about it, in fact it's the complete opposite.

lazygal

rainbowtrout wrote: »

It's not about wanting to control guests behaviour, it's people who don't like having every moment of their life splashed all over the internet asking people to respect their wishes. Nothing egotistical about it, in fact it's the complete opposite.

Exactly-live and let live, therefore let me live my life without having my image posted online. I'm now pregnant and there is no way we'll be posting images of the baby online. Some people just like photos for a photo album and to put in frames on the wall, not to post for all to see. Nothing sad about not being into pics on FB.

jonniebgood1

rainbowtrout wrote: »

It's not about wanting to control guests behaviour, it's people who don't like having every moment of their life splashed all over the internet asking people to respect their wishes. Nothing egotistical about it, in fact it's the complete opposite.

Your opinion is a fair one (although I disagree).
Where then in your opinion do people draw the line?

My point was:

The point being where does the controlling of guests behaviour stop

Do you ask them not to take pictures?
Or not to put their pictures in printed photo albums?
Or maybe you should tell them who they can show their photos too. (effectively this is an offline version of what is being done through the facebook request).

It is egotistical to feel the need to control ones own image rights, i.e. "characteristic of those having an inflated idea of their own importance"

rainbowtrout

jonniebgood1 wrote: »

Your opinion is a fair one (although I disagree).
Where then in your opinion do people draw the line?

My point was:

Do you ask them not to take pictures?
Or not to put their pictures in printed photo albums?
Or maybe you should tell them who they can show their photos too. (effectively this is an offline version of what is being done through the facebook request).

It's not really the same. I'd have no problem with people taking photos and putting them in albums etc, but realistically if they are going to show them to people it's going to be a small group of people, most likely people who know you. If they put them on facebook and don't place any restrictions on them then anyone they are friends with can see them etc. If their profile is public then it is available to the general public and anyone that might go searching for you. Not at all like them having photos stuck in an album at home.

Employers for one can and do searches on current and prospective employees online. I choose not to put up photos of myself drunk or wherever online. I would think it's not too much to ask for others to do likewise. Similar with weddings. Some people don't talk to certain members of their families and don't want them knowing stuff about their lives, or trawling through photos of them online, sure they can probably get the information in other ways, which are less convenient, but I would prefer that it's not posted for all and sundry to see.

Gatica

I totally agree... I think if someone goes to the trouble of putting your wedding pics in a printed album, they're probably close enough to you and wouldn't bore people who don't know you with pics of your wedding at their home. However, people do post pics on facebook without a second thought or a care as to who of their large circle of acquaintances (many who may or may not know you) would look at the on-line album they posted, in many cases without carefully selecting the pictures as they would for the more expensive printed media.

lace

The Cool wrote: »

A couple I know that got married lately, had joined / friended the Facebook page of their wedding photographer. Three days after their wedding, as they were off on their month-long honeymoon travelling Route 66, the photographer uploaded the couple's professional wedding photos to Facebook and publicly tagged them in every single one. So the couple were away, not a care in the world and everyone back home had access to their photos - ones of the bride getting ready at home and everything. If that happened to me I'd go nuts!!!!

As goes photographers posting photos online - the photos are completely their intellectual property and they have every right to post them on social networking or other websites unless otherwise stated in their contract. The tagging was also fair seeing as the couple had friended him/her on Facebook. He/she probably thought they'd be delighted.

OP - I'd suggest sending a private message on Facebook a week or two before the wedding asking that people not to put up photos of the bride and groom or the ceremony. Most people will probably be sure to keep intimate moments from the day and pictures of the dress etc off the site. If you don't want to be too direct about it you could ask the bridesmades/groomsmen and close family to pass on the word to all the guests in a subtle way.

If your guests know you well they should already know that you are private people who would not like your wedding to be shared on Facebook and certainly won't mind being asked not to plaster the day all over the internet. It's not an unreasonable request to make if you don't like the idea of people you don't know/don't get on with having access to your wedding photographs.

However, it is a day in the lives of the guests too so naturally they are going to want to upload photos of themselves and their friends at the wedding - particularly if they've gone through a lot of effort buying outfits, having their hair done etc.

kandr10

If the pics werent tagged on fb, it would be quite difficult to find them even if you were bothered looking. I find the idea of images being plastered all over the internet hilarious. It just doesnt work that way with the amount of content thats out there.
Also not everyone posts pics as bragging rights. Sometimes its just nice to share withpeople who couldnt make the event.