Need help with my relationship !

LegacyUser

I've been going out with my GF for nearly 10 months now and it has been good up until the last month/month and a half or so.

At the start things were fantastic as most relationships tend to be and things only got better. I was working part-time during the summer and we spent any free time doing things together. We have SO much in common , especially music wise which is important to us both.

She is and as long as I've known her (4 years) self conscious ( a lot) , she also doesn't talk easily about things.She's told me that I'm the only person that she can fully trust and that can even see her without jeans or a t-shirt etc...

We became sexually active around the end of august after building it up for a few months . She was/is so scared of pregnancy that it turns her off , not that she has the biggest sex drive anyway. During the summer , if we were alone all we did was sexual(foreplay etc.). Sex wasn't at all what we expected (lost our virginity together). We tried it about 7/8 times and stopped.

About 3 weeks ago I saw cuts on her arm and confronted her about it , she said she's feeling down lately and doesnt know why , and that she did for about 2/3 years before we got together , and that us getting together made her happy again. So why is she doing this again , is she not happy anymore? Its also effected her sex drive , she'll do things for me but is reluctant to recieve , even though I know she loves it when she wants it .

It seems as though slowly , our sex life is fading (which bugs me a lot). She doesn't even like talking about it and says that she has more important things to worry about than sex.(we're both 17 btw).

She's constantly down , everything pisses her off and when shes in a bad
mood(all the time) she takes it out on me , and even though she apologises and says she wont again .. she does.

Its taking its toll on me , shes putting me in a bad mood and making me feel down all the time . the last 2 weeks I've thought about leaving her but I don't know If i can. I love her to bits ...She's often told me she couldnt live without me and would rather kill herself than lose me (which isnt exactly fair on me).

I have no idea what to do , I love her so much but can't help thinking that I'd be happier if I didn't have to deal with it all. I've tried helping her talk about everything and why shes down( I mean A LOT) but its not helping . She won't go to anybody to talk to and definately not her Mam (shes never talked seriously about anything with her ever)..

Sorry for the length but just thought I'd get my dilemma across , advice??

holyhead

OP this is not a healthy situation. You need to remove yourself from this relationship. No one should hang their continued future existence over you like a threat to stop you from walking. Its the sign of an unstable individual. From what you describe it seems the girl has engaged in self harm. Again a very worrying situation. She will continue with this behaviour until she gets treatment ie counselling or something. IF SHE DOES SOMETHING THEN IT IS SHE THAT DOES IT NOT YOU. You are entitled to come and go in a relationship, ie be there by choice not fear. Best of luck.

x Purple Pawprints x

I have to say I disagree with holyhead. OP your girlfriend sounds like she may be depressed. It is a huge possibility considering she's harming herself. This freaks a lot of people out but you have to remember that it may no be about you, there could be a number of things in her life making her feel low and making her feel out of control. She needs you to be there for her and please try to convince her to get some help, she needs it. Best of luck with everything OP.