Stopping.... advice?

maximalistic

First off this is not a recovery thread, I haven't developed an alcohol dependency. I'm 24 yet I drink ever weekend and get quite buckled like alot of people my age. However I'm getting absolutely sick of it.Even though I only go drinking once a week I find it takes days to recover. Not only that I suffer from getting the fear every Sunday, but an incident last Saturday night in which I acted very out of character towards certain people in a threatening manner made the penny drop for me. First off how would I go about going off it for good? Would I stay in for a few weeks and then try go out and not drink? I'm thinking of taking my car with me into town so I have an extra discipline not to drink. Im just looking for advice here as I am clueless on the subject. Bear in mind I'm 24 and more or less every social focal point we have revolves around drink.

Amtmann

maximalistic wrote: »

First off this is not a recovery thread, I haven't developed an alcohol dependency. I'm 24 yet I drink ever weekend and get quite buckled like alot of people my age. However I'm getting absolutely sick of it.Even though I only go drinking once a week I find it takes days to recover. Not only that I suffer from getting the fear every Sunday, but an incident last Saturday night in which I acted very out of character towards certain people in a threatening manner made the penny drop for me. First off how would I go about going off it for good? Would I stay in for a few weeks and then try go out and not drink? I'm thinking of taking my car with me into town so I have an extra discipline not to drink. Im just looking for advice here as I am clueless on the subject. Bear in mind I'm 24 and more or less every social focal point we have revolves around drink.

If you've no dependency on alcohol, then I'm not sure why you're asking. If you want to stop, then stop. It really is as simple as that, unless you have some form of dependency.

hubba

I'm guessing your biggest obstacle would be peer pressure.

Make a list of 'excuses' to use on friends when they ask: alco in the family, on medication, match in the morning, saving money for mothers heart op, etc etc. Tell them anything to shut them up.

Know your boundaries - if a 'friend' is really getting too aggressive towards you trying to push drink on you, be happy to know when to walk away. You don't need that sh*t.

And, just for fun, think about maybe not going out with your boozing mates exclusively - maybe there are other people in your extended circle who hate that scene too, maybe you will need to widen the net and eventually make new friends with healthier outlooks similar to yours?

Just my tuppence worth.

maximalistic

Well yes it should be that easy if I dont have a dependency but the only time I get to see my friends is at the weekend and it always involves heavy drinking. If anything its just ritualistic at this stage.and as hubba alluded to the peer pressure to drink is enormous. Maybe I should rephrase the question, if I attempt to go out and not drink am I doomed to failure? or should I just stay in. It just seems to me that very little people go and not drink or maybe thats just my perception. The excuses is a good way to go about it.

hubba

Yes, I understand what you're saying. There are times for me too (though I don't go out that much these day) when I just want to join in which the gang so I use a few tricks like:

* Arrive late. Works great cos by the time you get there, the party is in full swing, everyone else is relaxed and chatty and you get red carpet treatment for FINALLY arriving. Win Win.

* Drink ambiguous looking drinks. Glasses of dark stuff all look like Morgan/vodka and coke.

* Use more excuses for the times you get caught drinking softdrinks, e.g. dicky tum, overdid it lastnight, early start due to travel in the morning.

Basically, try not to make any grand announcements that you aren't drinking as you will just attract the wrong attention. But at the end of the day, no, your friends won't be happy with you not drinking and that's just life. They aren't as enlightened and mature as you, well not yet at least and they don't want you making them look foolish.

But I admire you for coming here and asking the question. When I was younger I never even questioned the madness. In fact I was one of those immature eejits overdoing it and slagging anyone who didn't. Shameful behaviour, I'm not proud.

Best of luck with it and do whatever you feel is right for you. Feck the rest of them. Friends or not. It's your body and mind you are poisoning at the end of the day.

Amtmann

maximalistic wrote: »

Well yes it should be that easy if I dont have a dependency but the only time I get to see my friends is at the weekend and it always involves heavy drinking. If anything its just ritualistic at this stage.and as hubba alluded to the peer pressure to drink is enormous. Maybe I should rephrase the question, if I attempt to go out and not drink am I doomed to failure? or should I just stay in. It just seems to me that very little people go and not drink or maybe thats just my perception. The excuses is a good way to go about it.

I think you should go out and just drink coke or lucozade or whatever non-alcoholic beverage you like. Try to ignore the haranguing that some of your friends might give you. It's a trusim, but they really should accept your choice. I once received a shot even though people knew I didn't drink. They kept asking me to down it. In the end, to their horror, I just spilled it in front of them on the floor. You have to make your point.

However, it may be that when you go out with your pals at the weekend, it will lose its appeal for you and you won't see the attraction anymore. If that's the case, go with your feeling. Don't subject yourself to something you find unenjoyable. There are alternatives to pubbing. Call round to your friends for a visit, there are pizza and DVD nights, there are coffees to be had.

That's in addition to restaurants, cinema, and other activities. Good luck and let us know how you get on

CDfm

Hey OP, why do stuff you don't really enjoy and its just a lifestyle choice.

Some of your friends may be non drinkers or not drink that much so you really do not know until you try. Maybe they are the people you need to connect with.

Its something you do for yourself and not other people.

bobbaggio

Tell them you are allergic and when you drink you break out......and when they say break out??...... say I break out in cheeky ****ers faces like you! and then growl and walk off!

bobbaggio

But really, get a hobby, one you genuinely enjoy, and plan to do it on friday or saturday night, before you know it, it will be 12 or 1 at night and time for bed, do that for a couple of weeks, see how you feel, and if you still want to drink and don't feel comfortable then.....uhm? Maybe it is a problem? and as one of the other posters said, if it isn't dependancy then just stop?

Stripey Cat

maximalistic wrote: »

Not only that I suffer from getting the fear every Sunday, but an incident last Saturday night in which I acted very out of character towards certain people in a threatening manner made the penny drop for me.

Some people don't have a drink problem, but whenever they drink they have problems.

Best of luck with it. I wish I had given up in my twenties. I would have had a much better time.

Poarky

Hi, Im new to this board. I want to give up drinking too. I feel that when I drink at home I cant just stop at 2 glasses of wine. Myself and partner regularly have a bottle of wine between us a few times a week. Sometimes I wish I could just have one glass but that doesn't happen. We dont open a second bottle normally but on a few occasions when we have Id always be physically sick after it. When I got out and socialise I wouldn't drink that much. Maybe 3 - 4 glasses of wine. However, I did go to a wedding during the summer and drank far too much wine and got sick on the way home and after that I just felt awful and guilty. Ive never been able to hold alcohol well (Im female). Last night I came home from visiting a friend and had 3 glasses of wine (empty stomach) and threw it all up. Ive said on loads of occasions why do I drink it as it is in effect poison to my system. I think my mind plays games in thinking I want to have a drink so I suppose I just need to change my way of thinking. Im healthy and so aware of how alcohol is bad for us. I cant bear hearing people boasting about how drunk they got when out as it it is something to be proud of. Ive never understood that. My mother drank a lot when I was young so I guess ive always been wary about it - but obvioulsy wasnt wary enough to not start drinking! Anyway, guess Im coming on here for maybe support and hear other stories and maybe get some inspiration too.
Cheers

Stripey Cat

Best of luck with it. If you don't want to drink, then you really don't have to.

Sounds like it might be worth discussing with your partner the pattern of your drinking.

Having some nice, non alcoholic drinks in the house would probably be a good idea too.

CDfm

Some people get the munchies and miss the sugar so soft drinks and chocolate multipacs are handy substitutes if you feel the need.

Wingman2010

maximalistic wrote: »

First off this is not a recovery thread, I haven't developed an alcohol dependency. I'm 24 yet I drink ever weekend and get quite buckled like alot of people my age. However I'm getting absolutely sick of it.Even though I only go drinking once a week I find it takes days to recover. Not only that I suffer from getting the fear every Sunday, but an incident last Saturday night in which I acted very out of character towards certain people in a threatening manner made the penny drop for me. First off how would I go about going off it for good? Would I stay in for a few weeks and then try go out and not drink? I'm thinking of taking my car with me into town so I have an extra discipline not to drink. Im just looking for advice here as I am clueless on the subject. Bear in mind I'm 24 and more or less every social focal point we have revolves around drink.

I gave it up when I was 25. 2 years now in January. Wasn't dependent on it either. Used to have a few pints at weekends and that was the height of it. But I hated hangovers. I also used to hate wasting a Sunday morning in bed. I took up cycling and I was always up early at weekends cycling as opposed to been in bed trying to get rid of hangovers etc!

Initially my mates just didn't get it why I wasn't drinking anymore. But as time went by they fully got over it. Now they wouldn't bother saying the famous line 'have one'. It was the best decision I ever made and I'm very proud of myself for doing it. Though if I'm out in clubs chatting up girls they can't understand why I don't drink. A lot think I must have a hidden drink problem! But most girls think its cool that I don't drink. Money was the last reason I gave up. But I have so much extra money now :-) If you want to do it you will do it. Just need a little will power.