Feeling really really down.

Louthdrog

I dont know if this is the right place but iv got to write this down, get it out of my system.
Im 19 and have had severe acne for a good few years. It never really got to me until recently. Its come to the stage where Iv tried 100% everything to get rid of it and Im left with no options really. I cant stand to be in college or around other people, generally I hate people to be able to see me. All I can face doing in the evenings is lying in my bed. Iv given up on socializing and even when im in college, I would go home early just so less people would see me. Every time I look in the mirror I just feel like Sh1t. I get this uncontrollable urge to throw punches whenever i see a mirror. Iv always had an anger issue but never this bad. Iv had to resort to hanging football flags over my door to hide punch holes from my parents.

Im a part time barman and to stand behind the bar knowing everyone can see me makes the job unbearable. Whats even worse is that Im a student teacher. Im facing into 6 months teaching practice in a school in two months time. there is no way students, teachers or parents will take me seriously if im walking around with the same condition as the first years.

I dont know what advice or help anyone out there can give me, but i just really feel like sh!t tonight and thought writing it down might help.

You've said you've tried everything possible, so I assume you've seen a doctor? It's quite likely that there are some non-medical things you haven't tried. Maybe you could give us a list of what you have tried and you could get some suggestions.

Taltos

OP - we cannot give medical advice on this forum.
You really need to speak with your GP or get a second opinion quite rapidly (before you do your work placement), also please mention how this is impacting you emotionally and your feeling and expression of anger.

Taltos

kdb14

Hi OP,

I can't relate to your experience personally but my cousin had a really similar experience. He had really bad acne for years and years and no matter what he did, it just wouldn't go away. It was affecting his self esteem and confidence and smiliarly to yourself he was just getting really angry.

I remember he said he'd seen on a google one time that acne was a 'outside manifestation of an internal unacceptance of the self'- now my cuz isn't/wasn't the type of person who would buy into that kind of theory but he had tried everything and it did hit a nerve with him because he really didn't like himself. He ended up working with a counsellor or life coach, can't remember which! But the purpose was to focus on his strengths, focus on the things he was happy with and build his confidence and self esteem. And it did seem to work, slowly he began to accept and respect himself more and the acne seemed to just fade away.

We had a few drunk chats about it but I really found it interesting. His acne had defined who he was and that was all he saw when he looked in the mirror, then he started seeing himself properly, he stopped noticing the acne so much and then it just seemed to go away and it never came back since. It was a good while ago now, a few years anyway.

He was still trying the usual stuff so who knows what it was that actually worked but since you tried everything!! Hope this makes some sense!

fits

Go see a dermatologist. Its expensive and if you're put on roaccutane, its a tough drug, but it will clear up your skin. I was on it and didnt find it too bad at all. I might have to go on it for a second bout to get rid for good but its not the end of the world.

Firetrap

Have you been to a dermatologist? Sometimes the medication that your GP prescribes won't be enough.

SATSUMA

Ah you poor thing you arw going through hell. I know you said you have tried everything but you just dont know what you havent tried.

Go see a consultant dermatologist and get all your bloods tested. You can fight this and get on with your life.

This has impacted you emotionally and is a separate issue you need to attend to. Tell your dermatologist about this too.

You are obviously an intelligent person, time now to get an action plan together.

Best of luck xxx

Louthdrog

Thanks everyone for replying and to those who pmd me aswell.
While I doubt the science behind kdb14s solution (its the nerdy science teacher in me ), I really think he could be onto something. I guess stress is a big factor when it comes to acne, and really all the acne is giving me is stress. Vicious cycle really. So after reading his post, iv decided to ban myself from mirrors (within reason). Instead of checking my face first thing in the morning and then worrying what I look like for the day, I guess im better off just forgetting about it. Hopefully keep the stress levels down and see what happens. If I do get annoyed, guess ill just go for a run or something. Actually was really stressed writing this the other night and woke up looking twice as bad as usual so im sure there's something in it.
Im going to go back to the dermatologist over xmas aswell, just to see if there is any other option. The pills havnt worked but maybe theirs something im missing.
But really big thanks to everyone for writing back and especially the pm's. Actually had a really good day today since i took the advice and have a smile on my face tonight. (well i think so, i dare not look in any mirrors to check)

fits

Stress really doesnt help. Thats for sure. I hope you get some relief from it soon.

BraziliaNZ

I had it bad as a teenager, took roaccutane for 2 months, never had acne again, I was 19 at the time and had it for years.
Ask your doctor about that drug if you haven't taken it yet. It's a miracle cure.