Son just born - C section

jcf

Hi
my son was just born with a C section and it was very traumatic for the mother,
I bonded well with him for 2 hours after the operation - but since seeing
the pain my partner is in i have found it very traumatic.

It's not that im not happy to have my son in my arms, i just feel drained
we haven'¡t slept since firday night, the labour started at 10pm saturday night
and at around 4.00pm today they decided to do a C section

So my wife went through double pain, it was hardbreaking to see her after the procedure.

I feel all the presure is on me, the baby isn't responding well to the mother - unleess he is being fed- I can soothe him quickly if he cries , but it's tough to do it with my wife suffering ..

NextSteps

Congratulations, and courage! It'll all seem easier after a night's sleep.

Tazio

Hi firstly Congrats to you! Brilliant news.. We have a 2.5 year old and a 9 week old! Both.babies were c section with complications... My wife was sick and sore after both procedures..

As the.man our job now is to feed baby, comfort wife and keep on top the pain relief for her too. Watch the.drug chart at the base of the bed and make sure the drugs are on time.every 4 hours for the first 48 hours anyway. Don't be afraid to push the bell alarm for assistance. Ask about the nursery nurse on nights. She should help your partner with night feeds..

Mummy and baby will take. You wife is just after surgery and has a lot of drugs in her system.. you were probably in theater and its a scary place. It's terrible to see the love of your life on the table for this procedure... Things will improve very quickly..

As said above ye will both feel a hell of a lot better by tomorrow.

Take care and don't forget to eat!!

Cheers T

googled eyes

Just want to say that this was my exact story 8 weeks ago. My wifes waters broke around half 12 on a Tuesday night. Things were not moving along and my daughter was born by c-section at half 5 in the morning. My wife lost a good bit of blood and was in recovery for a while and i was sent up to the ward with baby.
The lack of sleep was a killer and my wife found it very hard to breastfeed after the operation. ( funny how people make out like its an easy option, it's major bloody surgery)
It all started to get better and easier but day 3 or 4. My wifes pain was easing and baby was able to feed well.
Don't worry, just stick by your partner, look out for mother and baby's and you'll be fine.

Just want to add , Tazio's reply is very good. The hospitals are very busy and you need to ask for help and pain relief from the nurses. People seem to forget that , it's their job to look after mother and baby.

OKeeffer

don't worry OP....I am only feeling a bond with my son in the last few months and he is aged six months now.

He was born naturally, so I don't think it makes any odds about the caesarean. Just go easy on yourself and your wife and baby....take things as they come.

It will all work out...these first few weeks are chaotic for everyone, I swear.

OKeeffer

googled eyes wrote: »

( funny how people make out like its an easy option, it's major bloody surgery)

I think some women think it will be easier as they will feel no pain at the time of birth. In this sense it is much easier than a natural birth, but they forget that, as you say, it is major surgery and they are lying flat on their back recovering having been sliced open, at the exact time when their babies need them to be 100% attentive to their needs.

They struggle to breastfeed then too, which sets off an awful chain of events for the baby, as the early colostrum from the breast is so vital to the baby's development.

Davidth88

Congratulations .... enjoy your son .

Don't worry , you will soon build into a routine ......easy to say now , but trust me it will happen

Good luck

Victor

Congratulations.

The oxytocin in your wife's system will help her get through things. Sure births can be difficult, but recovery happens. Just make sure mum, baby and you get enough time to yourselves.

Is the extended family available to help out, even for a few hours to do some cleaning or the shopping?

Moonbeam

Congrats:)
Try get some time off work to be there for her for a few days to help her through it and when you go back try make sure that there is someone else there with her to help her.
The tiredness unfortunately can not be helped but maybe take turns having a nights sleep for the 1st few days.

lynski

jcf wrote: »

Hi
my son was just born with a C section and it was very traumatic for the mother,
I bonded well with him for 2 hours after the operation - but since seeing
the pain my partner is in i have found it very traumatic.

It's not that im not happy to have my son in my arms, i just feel drained
we haven'¡t slept since firday night, the labour started at 10pm saturday night
and at around 4.00pm today they decided to do a C section

So my wife went through double pain, it was hardbreaking to see her after the procedure.

I feel all the presure is on me, the baby isn't responding well to the mother - unleess he is being fed- I can soothe him quickly if he cries , but it's tough to do it with my wife suffering ..

It will get easier as the days go on, make sure she takes all the pain meds when they should be taken (ie at 4hrs rather then waiting for pain), even if she is breastfeeding, take the pain meds, the transfer is minimal and she needs them. There is more info on this page (http://www.kellymom.com/health/meds/pain-meds.html)
If you can arrange help at home for the coming weeks, mothers/sisters/friends it will be easier and get some takeaway menus and some easy meals (M&S are good) you are doing great, and congrats

xzanti

Hey Your story sounds a little like mine..

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=69777037&postcount=2482

I found it traumatic for the first couple of days and I felt a little robbed that I had to have a Section but at the end of the day I know it was the right thing to do and I'm very grateful to the team who delivered him safely.

Mammy will feel quite sore for a few days and unfortunately, the littlest tasks (feeding, nappy changing etc) will be that little bit more of a stretch for her with her wound.. but it won't last long.. After 2 weeks I was out walking with my baby in his pram and pretty much back to normal.

Congratulations

Hannibal Smith

Congratulations on the birth of your son!

I've had 2 c-sections both emergency and never actually understood what all the fuss was with people faffing all around me making sure I was ok etc, until I saw another woman in the same ward as me after a section. Jees she looked like she'd been through the wars and I thought no wonder people were spoiling me rotten!

But you'll probably find today she's doing much better, the sickness after the epidural has passed (if she had any) and she's able to get up and about more and is in much better spirits herself?

She'll be in for the next 5 days at least, so by the time herself and baby are ready to leave I'm sure they'll have bonded perfectly by then. Skin to skin contact with mum and baby might be a good idea, where you strip the baby down and tuck him inside mum's nightdress?

And yes, like some one else said, tell her to take her pain killers whether she feels in pain or not.

Very best of luck xx

Jenniflower87

Congratulations on the birth of your little boy.

This is exactly what happened to me and my little man, 15 weeks ago today. I found it hard to do anything with the baby. You feel very out of it on the meds as they are very strong and the wound is so restricting for the first few days but every day gets so much better. My partner was the same with the bonding straight away with the baby and he kept on the nurses and midwives to keep the tablets coming.

If anyone offers their help take everything. You could really do with it. You are doing fantastic and it gets that bit better every day! Good luck with everything

jcf

Thanks all sooo much for these comments, today was much much better,
I am starting to feel very positive, I changed my 1st nappies today !

My wife has really improved and is feeding the baby better now,

Im going back in soon - just back to collect some things !

Thanks again all...

jcf

Mini update
Well he's one week old and it's up and down
Sometimes he is very regular with sleep other times
Not so ...
Normal I assume - but a strange thing is he doesn't like sleeping in the cot or even between us he needs to lie on my chest to doze off , then I place him in the cot .
Andvge can wake up pretty fast when in the cot
But on me he'll sleep for ages ??

This is nice but realistically it can't go on
I'll be back to work soon and my wife is still
In recovery from C sect. So can't have him lie on her
Much - and he's big 4.7 KG !!!

Moonbeam

COngrats!!

That is perfectly normal for the 1st few weeks,they are only small and the world is a big scary place but daddies are big warm cushions:)
Don't worry it does not last long.

Morag

If he's sleeping on your chest then he's listening to your heart beat.
He would have listened to his mother's heart beat when he was in the womb.
There are ways to give him this with out him sleeping on you.
Be it a cd or a sleep sheep or a slumber bear.
They go in or beside the cot/crib and the sound lulls the baby to sleep.

http://www.geniusbabies.com/sleep-sheep.html
http://www.geniusbabies.com/the-original-slumber-bear-baige.html

CathyMoran

c-sections never tend to be easy in my experience - I had two in less than 14 months almost 6 months ago. It does get easier with time. I am actually begging my husband for one more...

The first 6 weeks with a new baby are never easy in my experience - after that I have found that it gets easier. You are still getting used to nappies etc as well as lack of sleep, it takes time but it does become amazing

We found white noise machines (check your local parent and child store) to be great. I know that I found it hard when my husband left but it was more fear of the unknown. You will both be wanting another one in no time!

Hannibal Smith

Sharrow wrote: »

If he's sleeping on your chest then he's listening to your heart beat.

that is just the sweetest image! Our little guy goes asleep on our chest too, I always thought it was just the body warmth, never twigged he might be listening to our heartbeats awww that's sweet!

jcf

A bit concerned about him, I heard newborns should sleep from 16-20 hours a day!!!

He's lucky if he gets 5....

He is so hard to settle, he needs to sleep on my chest or my wife's, if we put him down (even beside us on the bed) he will be up crying within 5 mins ..

Sometimes he might get 4 hours or so sleep in the bed/cot - but rarely - and never during the day.

I might try the mentioned Sheep sleeper thing - I wonder will his brain development be affected by this lack of sleep ?

Morag

IIf you are concerned as ever get him checked out medically for the first 6 weeks he,s still under the care of the hospital after that it's the family Dr. there could be issues which are causing him discomfort when lying flat rather then lying inclined on your chest. best just to check and be sure.

Jenniflower87

Did you try lying him down on his stomach. I know in the hospital they tell you to lie them on their back but my friends little girl would just not sleep on her back and slept perfectly fine on her stomach. As she used to say, when we were born we were put on our stomachs.

The doctors should be able to give you some light on the situation. And as the previous poster said your covered for the first 6 weeks.