Paranoid about friends

LegacyUser

I have always been insecure about the amount of friends I have. Moved around a bit and have suffered from depression. I do have about 5/6 close friends and another six friends but I dont see people from either group that often due to geographical circumstances. Every time I hear of anybody meeting a gang of friends it stings my heart. If people dont want to meet I take it very badly.

In my job age wise -most of them have kids and rarely go out

I know I'm being silly but do other people sometimes feel this way?

cafecolour

I definitely did when I was younger. It'd move somewhere new, go on a mad hunt to meet more people (which I'm pretty good at). Then I'd get overwhelmed and feel I had too many friends (who didn't necessarily know each other) and too much social commitment and have no time. Then I'd go into hermit mode, lose many of my friends (except the close ones). Then I'd feel I didn't have enough friends and process would repeat.

Now I'm happy to have a few close friends, as long as I see them regularly enough.

So do you just want more friends since you feel like other people have more? Or do you not see your friends enough to fill your social calendar?

If it's the later, join a few social clubs/sports activities/do a meetup/etc. to meet some people and get more social exposure.

If it's the former, I'd take a look at what you actually want out of a large group of friends, or if it's just the idea of it.

LegacyUser

Just a clarification. I suppose at times I find my social calendar thin. I think at this stage I will have to give up on having a good gang to meet up. I have only small groups to meet. It just hurts me pretty bad when an effort is not reciprocated.

paky

op it would be the paranoia i'd be worried about not the friends

Firetrap

Some people go through life with a load of friends, others with a handful of them. It's not the quantity of them that matters, it's the quality.

OkayWhatever

Being honest, I have about 7 proper friends. And i'd prefer it to be like that. My birthday party consists of going out for a meal and having a few drinks, because I'd never be able to fill a function room if my life depended on it!

I think it's mainly due to the fact that I'm so shy, not so much now, but before I wouldn't really talk to new people (or anybody :P ) . I've known these 7 girls for at least 7 years, one of them i've known for about 15, we know everything about each other.

They're my best friends and I can trust them with anything. I'd rather have 7 friends I can trust than 20 friends who I can't say a word to without being paranoid about them telling everyone!

I'm not going to go out and make friends with 15 people to say I have loads of friends,just for the sake of it.

It's good to have a close knit group I think, we tend to do kris kindle and we buy each other really nice presents,because there's only 7 of us there's plenty of time to save up between birthdays :P

Don't go out and make friends for the sake of it, maybe it suits you to have a few close friends.

As for feeling bad when people don't make the effort to meet up, I feel the same. I'm the one who organises everything to make sure we all stay together and people don't bother, I feel like telling them to f*ck off! It's not just you!

LegacyUser

The paranoia is not out and out paranoia. I just think Im not that popular that people dont take to me that easy. In work a group of lads are going down the country on the Piss in two weeks. I was not invited but to be fair they are mainly into Sport while Im not but it would worry me I wasn't asked. That kind of thing. Sometimes it gets worse with friends if I feel they are not responding-I can get a bit nasty to them. Im making a real effort to curtail that.