Wasting my time?

LegacyUser

I'm in a bit of a muddle here and not too sure what I should do, need a bit of perspective

Basically there is this girl who was a friend of a friend and we hooked up a couple of times and we started seeing each other "casually" I guess, we have the same group of friends and we all head out together, and often we would hook up, anyways after a while it got a bit more serious, we would spend loads of time together doing stuff, just the two of us, and she would be very enthusiastic, texting me everyday, coming up with stuff for us to do (I would be as well) then suddenly out of no where she would pull a disappearing act and my texts would go unanswered and I would basically be ignored, after a while, when I would be at the "well fcuk her then" stage in my head, she would reappear, tell me she had "stuff to do" and be as enthusiastic as ever, this cycle has happened too may times now at this stage, its a joke and its wrecking my head.

The obvious thing which you will all say is to just talk to her and find out where her head is at, but I never get far, I've told her I have feelings for her, she is very coy about that type of thing, I remember once saying as much to her, she didn't say anything, just kissed me and smiled, then 5 mins later invited me around to meet her parents the next day(We're both around 20) The thing is I'm pretty reserved and a chat about "feelings" is massively awkward for myself, and if I'm honest, I do be just so happy to be around her again I don't force the issue. I feel like I've been threading water if that makes sense, every-time she has "reappeared" I've convinced myself that it would be different.

One of my best friends is really good fiends with her (thats how we met) and she has told me that she has never really had a bf or anything, and I'm the only lad she has ever shown this kind of interest in. Shes not like any other girl I have ever met, the best way I can describe her is as someone who lives on her own world.

So what should I do? I've tried to talk to her about it but I never get anywhere... She sends really mixed signals, at times she seems really enthusiastic, we cant be separated for weeks at a time, we have a brilliant time together, then I don't see her or hear from her for two/three/four weeks... Then other times she turns up at my house on my birthday and surprises me with a homemade cake, bday card and a pile of presents. She would do that type of thing a good bit, they type of thoughtful, caring thing she wouldn't do if she had no interest.

I'm confused, and I think she is too. Shes currently pulled a vanishing act now the past couple of weeks (FWIW I'm friends with all her friends and when I said this to them they have said, "Thats just x being x, she does that to us too, you don't hear from her for weeks at a time").

The thing is I really like this girl, think about her all the time, and while there have been a few other girls this is the first one I've ever felt like this about, no other girl has ever held my interest at all.

What should I do? Sit her down and tell her definitively how I feel about all this and tell her to stop messing me around, put all the cards on the table (as I said I never pushed the issue, like a fool I was just delighted to "have her back") and give her an ultimatum of sorts? Any advice on how to go about this?

Any thoughts would be appreciated, this has really got me down and has consumed my life to a degree over the past 8 months or so, I've passed over some other girls I've met out in college and the like because I simply have no interest in anyone else besides her.

Reading back over that I feel very sad and pathetic

nowyouresix

You're not sad or pathetic.... you just need to tell her where your heart is at. Chances are that she goes awol because she is afraid to give her heart.... maybe , in a strange way, she has rejection issues and she's scared ?

If you feel you want to have something more with her, then you've got to tell her !

Good luck !!