Younger Women and Older Man

oatcake

Hi all,

I am stuck as to what to do in this situation so would love some views on this situation. Bit of a long one but please bear with me.

I am currently in college in my final year and this year a new man has started in our class. I did find him very attractive when I first saw him but never thought any more about it.

About a month ago we started a group project in class and he was added into my group. Since then I have come to really like him. We talk a good bit, go on smoke breaks together. He is lovely, kind, mature, confident, sweet and attractive. We chat a good bit in class but have never exchanged numbers so we have never hung out outside of college, which I think is because I have never let on that I like him. I do feel a spark between us though.

I added him as a friend on facebook and he accepted. To my surprise he is 31 years old and I am 21 years old going on 22 years old.

My problem is, I can't stop thinking about him. I just don't know if he would see me as more than a friend because I am 10 years younger than him?
I don't want to flirt with him if it does end up making him uncomfortable but I really can't tell if will or not. I know he is single so no problem with him having someone else.

I have been told most my life that I am very mature for my age and this is due to my up bringing in which I had to grow up faster than most children.
We do seem to be within the same maturity level. I also think another reason as to why I like him is because I don't find men my age very attractive due to their level of maturity compared to mine.
I have been in some awful relationships because of it and the last one I was in just pushed me over the edge with the immature behavior my ex showed me when we broke up and throughout our relationship.

So what I am asking is, what would you do in my situation?
Do you think a man at 31 would chase a women 10 years younger? I am very attractive and get hit on all the time but it is mostly because the guy wants one thing. Whereas, he actually speaks to me for me and looks at me like I am beautiful and not just someone to sleep with.

I don't honestly know if he likes me and this is what worries me the most, he does give off some signals such as:
Looking in my eyes as we talk.
Smiling at me if we happen to look at each other.
He opens doors for me.
Lights my cigarette for me.
Hangs on to every word I say and we have great conversations.
Praises any work I have done and offers guidance if I am stuck on anything.
He seems so enthusiastic when we speak compared to when he talks to anyone else in the class.
He also approached me first and introduced himself when I was outside the college taking a small break.
I know these things are very small but to me they are lovely and I have never had a man my age do any of this for me. Even seeing my friends in relationships, none of their boyfriends treat them like this.
Are these signs that he likes me?

Also do people agree with people dating when there is a large gap in age?

Thank you for reading!

Neyite

20 years between my parents and they had a successful marraige

ando

It sounds like you really like this guy and good luck with him, you should go for it if you really like him, however in my experience a women doesn’t reach full maturity till she gets till about 24/25. He sounds like he likes you though could be scared of the maturity level possibly?

You also gotta be aware that this guy has experience and obviously is older. He could possibly be telling you exactly what you want to hear and knows what to say...

Just dont rush into anything but go for it if you really feel strongly about it! Have fun but be careful!

Please Kill Me

That's not a large gap!! I'm nearly 41 and my finacee is 26!! Jeez!

10 years? and you're both in college? go for it no need to be making a big deal out of it

Bottle_of_Smoke

The actual age difference probably not an issue but his concern may be that you are in a different stage of life to him. When the course finishes will you be willing to settle down into marriage and kids or will you want to travel/live in house shares with mates etc.

I'm sort of in a similar situation to him. In college and get offers from 18/19 year olds who are psychologically mature etc but at 26 I'm sort of concerned about what would be on the cards in 4-5 years time. Therefore wary of getting involved with them at all

Jess16

bluewolf wrote: »

10 years? and you're both in college? go for it no need to be making a big deal out of it

The poor girl is only asking a question, hardly making a big deal out of it. OP, I'd say go for it if it feels right for both you and him. I know 10 years may technically sound like a lot but in reality all that matters is that you both click and are on a similar wavelength to each other, regardless of what age either of you are

bigbudda

Not a big deal atall....I'm 22, my boyf of over a year is 34....we get on fantastic, age has NEVER been an issue for us or our family or friends....

Go for it!