Im a bit messed up

LegacyUser

Ok I was going out with this girl for a while there earlier in the year. Pretty early in the relationship she told me about something fairly serious that happened her. A few other things happened her and she broke up with me due to me not believing what happened her.

Anyway after a while she contacted me to get back with her and all was rosey for a couple of months but she broke up with me out of the blue. She then got back with me then shortly after and broke up with me again citing trust issues or her parents not wanting us together. This went on a couple of times, everytime she got back with me she was very intense on how much she loved me and was sorry for hurting me.

She told me about a few other serious things that happened her and i found it very hard to believe her, she even told me she was seeing a counsellor who contacted me by phone and i subsequently found it was her that had contacted me off an old number.

Anyway we were kinda seeing each other unofficially, she told me she loved me but a week later when i texted her, she said she met someone else and she felt they clicked and that she was moving on. Im pretty sure they've been together since.

Basically my friends and family hate her and know i could do so much better and i think deep down that i was going back to her cos i thought i couldnt do better, i have to say tho that for a while i thought i was going to marry her.

Whats annoying me tho is that she only could go a month or 2 max before she broke off with me, she seems to have been with him for a few months now no problem, what was it about me that made her tell these lies to me (the counsellor and Im pretty sure a few of the other things were lies cos her story never made sense)? Why isnt she telling these lies to her new man and she was to me? Was it my fault?

Sorry about the rambling, just want to get over her.

LegacyUser

OP here again, just reading back on my original post, it looks like i dismissed what she told me straight away, i didnt, i was as supportive as i could of here be of her, i talked to her and suggested solutions but her story kept changing and details kept changing. Thats when i started to have my doubts.

parrai

Bitmessedup wrote: »

Ok I was going out with this girl for a while there earlier in the year. Pretty early in the relationship she told me about something fairly serious that happened her. A few other things happened her and she broke up with me due to me not believing what happened her.

Anyway after a while she contacted me to get back with her and all was rosey for a couple of months but she broke up with me out of the blue. She then got back with me then shortly after and broke up with me again citing trust issues or her parents not wanting us together. This went on a couple of times, everytime she got back with me she was very intense on how much she loved me and was sorry for hurting me.

She told me about a few other serious things that happened her and i found it very hard to believe her, she even told me she was seeing a counsellor who contacted me by phone and i subsequently found it was her that had contacted me off an old number.

Anyway we were kinda seeing each other unofficially, she told me she loved me but a week later when i texted her, she said she met someone else and she felt they clicked and that she was moving on. Im pretty sure they've been together since.

Basically my friends and family hate her and know i could do so much better and i think deep down that i was going back to her cos i thought i couldnt do better, i have to say tho that for a while i thought i was going to marry her.

Whats annoying me tho is that she only could go a month or 2 max before she broke off with me, she seems to have been with him for a few months now no problem, what was it about me that made her tell these lies to me (the counsellor and Im pretty sure a few of the other things were lies cos her story never made sense)? Why isnt she telling these lies to her new man and she was to me? Was it my fault?

Sorry about the rambling, just want to get over her.

This is not your fault at all...

This woman has serious problems. The counsellor episode has only confirmed what you thought about her. By her telling 'serious' things that happened to her, is probably part true... Something serious may have happened to her, and has left her traumatised. This is something that should be looked at by a professional and not for me to speculate about here.

She probably is telling this guy, the same sort of thing she told you. You can't know for sure because she is a liar. I'm sorry, based on what you have said here, this appears to be the case. She sees in you, someone that cared about her, and possibly in past cases, people would not take her as seriously as you had. This is something borne out by the fact she keeps/kept returning...

I can honestly say, I think you have had a lucky escape... Listen to your family, they see this from the outside for what it is.

I know it's difficult to get over a relationship, you have invested yourself in, but someone else will take your qualities more seriously and not be playing with your emotions.

gmac102

I remember your other posts aswell, my suggestion would be to move on for her whatever happened to her in her life has made her a be unstable.

You tried, let go knowing that.

You deserve so much better

Distorted

She sounds like a nutter. The thing about the counsellor gives you evidence she was lying. Some compulsive liars can be addictive - don't be drawn in any further. Think about some of the fraudsters you here about. She is probably doing the same to the new guy as to you.

LegacyUser

Hi guys, OP here again, thanks for the replies, ye're right and i know i have to move on. Im just sick of thinking of her and feeling crap about myself. My self confidence went through the ringer with her. I suppose I've to take it one day at a time. Thanks guys.

Eric Cartman

mate, walk away, sounds like a right attention seeker there to be honest

Firetrap

Cripes. She sounds like a complete and utter headcase to be honest. A compulsive liar, an attention seeker, a headwrecker and someone who will do you nothing but damage. The only good thing about this story is that you are her ex. Keep it that way and don't try to rationalise anything she has done or said to date. You will never know what was true and what wasn't. It's telling that your own family and friends hate her, is it not?

On a practical level, cut all contact with her. Delete her number from your phone and have her number blocked. Delete/block her on Facebook if you are on there. The longer you stay away from her, the easier it will become for you.