False allegation destroying my life

LegacyUser

I just don't know what to do. I am so, so angry and the more I think of it the angrier I'm becoming.

I'm a teacher in a tough school who has never touched a fly in my life. I love, or at least I used to love, passing on knowledge. That seems like another world now.

A student who is to say the least overly streetwise accused me of "touching" him very recently. I recoiled and moved back in utter horror. The thought alone makes me shiver. It's just not me and anybody who knows me would know it's not me. I don't even want to dignify it by thinking about it. It's just horrible. I was correcting this student, who has been very disruptive. Earlier on in the year the same student shouted something similar at me when, after I had corrected him, I was correcting another student and he shouted 'get your hands off him'. My hands weren't near the student and no other student saw these imaginary hands, but the intention of this student was to get the idea into their heads as a way to undermine me and destroy, at least, my control of the class. The student in question has serious attention-seeking issues, to put it mildly. At that time I asked other students did I touch that student and they said 'no' and told the accuser to keep quiet. But I hated that kid from then on. Let me explain: I have been afraid of him like no other person I have ever met. I never thought a child could be so evil and so lacking in empathy that he would do what this child was trying to do. I've thought about it far too much, and I do think 'evil' accurately describes what this child has consciously done to my life and my attitude to the job I used to love.

But I didn't report it then. This latest event I have not reported either, I want to get that child thrown out of the school and prosecuted in law for what he has done. But if I put in writing that he accused me of "touching" him I will forever have a mark against my name that "he had allegations made against him" by a child. I'm ****ed, and so, so, so angry that no matter what I do here I am going to come out the worse. I did nothing, nothing wrong. Yet I cannot do anything because people will say "there's no smoke without fire" and I will come off worst and he will be a "victim". There'll always be the suspicion.

Yet if I say nothing this child will know he has won and will undermine my class more and more and drive me out of the school. I am absolutely certain that that is the way it is going. Of that I have no doubt. The only thing I can do is leave my job quietly without saying anything about these allegations, deal with my bitterness and anger over time, and at least keep my reputation that way. But there aren't other jobs there and I have family to look after. But most of all I feel like I'm being completely bullied here by the very worst allegation a person could face by somebody who knows my ability to make an issue out of this will do much more harm to me than to him. There is a huge part of me that just wants to fight this because it is so obviously wrong. But I should have a whole career ahead of me. I should.


I really don't know what to do, but I hope somebody here could offer me insight as I would be too ashamed to tell anybody what I have been accused of. I can't sleep. I dread going into school. I'm saying the words but my heart isn't in it anymore.

SlimCi

Ok I'm not sure what the right thing to do is, but possibly the next time he steps out of line you should treat him like you treat all your students as usual with a telling off or whatever. I think you should also ensure you have another person or someone standing close by to see exactly what happens. If he accuses you of touching him, you should ask him to put the complaint in writing with a list of witnesses to the so called alleged assault and to give it to the Principal. I think it will in the end come down to his word against yours and there would be no witnesses to back up his story. I don't think he would carry out the threat of making a complaint but he sure as hell would know that you weren't afraid of him. I also think you should probably speak to the Principal about what has happened before you do any of this and obtain his/her back up in that you continue to treat him in the same manner as any ordinary student when he steps out of line. It may not be the best advice, but I think you need to bite the bullet and tell the Principal because this is bullying and maybe you could bring charges on that front and have him removed from the school.

Mighty_Mouse

Firstly, pull yourself together FFS.
It's a serious allegation but drama & emotional hysterics will solve nothing.
You're a fully educated & skilled teacher working in a tough school.
You're going to face problems from time-to-time.

Your problem here is you do not have appropriate systems in place to handle disruptive children & confrontation.

A student who is to say the least overly streetwise accused me of "touching" him very recently

I presume that you weren't alone with this student?

If you were not alone with this student there was no chance of inappropriate behaviour.

A quick word to the principle (warning to other teachers) that this child tends to shout "you're touching me" when confronted.

End of

But I hated that kid from then on. Let me explain: I have been afraid of him like no other person I have ever met. I never thought a child could be so evil and so lacking in empathy that he would do what this child was trying to do. I've thought about it far too much, and I do think 'evil' accurately describes what this child has consciously done to my life and my attitude to the job I used to love.

This is a serious red flag for me in terms of your ability to handle children with problems.
Sure you should be able to see the issues not the child?
Remember you're the adult here.
This is a child with issues, not "evil"

I want to get that child thrown out of the school and prosecuted in law for what he has done

This is nonsense.
Either the child is being disruptive or not.
Either he can control himself in class or not.
Either you have appropriate systems you use to handle disruption or not.

Earlier on in the year the same student shouted something similar at me when, after I had corrected him, I was correcting another student and he shouted 'get your hands off him'. My hands weren't near the student

What are you doing asking other students to justify you behaviour?
You immediately lose authority.
Surely its clear as day you weren't touching him??
End of.

Surely the correct action would of been to bring him to the principles office & explain he was being disruptive?

Overall, either you learn to calmly handle disruption through systematic responses or you cannot do your job.

Ken.

You really need to talk to the principal. If the student does make a complaint you will be most likely suspended pending any investigation.
Also and most unfortunately in cases like this you'll have to prove you didn't do anything rather than the student prove you did(unless you get in first so to speak).

Ainekav

Is there any way the principal can be approached discreetly and you could talk to him/her about what is happening to you, without all of this coming out?

Could you, also discreetly, get the advice of a lawyer?

Have you ever spoken to this child's parents? What are they like? If this goes further, they would be in the picture and you need to know what you're up against.

Be very very smart whatever you do, and I wouldn't advise making any moves without legal advice. As regards specific advice, I am very hesitant to give you it, because this is such a delicate situation and I am completely unqualified to give you any constructive advice. Which is why I am telling you to talk to a lawyer that you can trust. Failing that, an intelligent, trusted friend, or a friend who is a cop. emphasis here is on someone you trust.

Bottom line (IMHO) is you need to tell someone to get some constructive advice on how to progress.

Finally, I am so sorry this is happening to you - the child is evil, no doubt about it... a bad egg through and through. What age is he? I would not advise taking any threats of his lightly, or underestimating him. If he has gone this far, he will go further. I am sure of that.

The best of luck in this - maybe research any similar cases - Louis Walsh comes to mind, and justice was done, and that scumbag finally admitted the truth. Keep your true friends and family close to you - if this comes out, you will soon learn who they are.
The very, very best of luck.
Do not lose sight of the fact that you are a teacher and you love your job.

Lon Dubh

I think you need to talk to the principal and maybe your union rep. This sort of thing, while horrible, is not unheard of in schools, so there is a good chance that the Principal and other teachers may have experience of it. Have you had any conversations with anyone who taught him before? Unsually disruptive children, especially if this extreme, have a history of this sort of behaviour, so there is a good chance some other teachers have had problems with him also.

Earlier on in the year the same student shouted something similar at me when, after I had corrected him, I was correcting another student and he shouted 'get your hands off him'. My hands weren't near the student and no other student saw these imaginary hands, but the intention of this student was to get the idea into their heads as a way to undermine me and destroy, at least, my control of the class. The student in question has serious attention-seeking issues, to put it mildly. At that time I asked other students did I touch that student and they said 'no' and told the accuser to keep quiet.

Make sure to mention this to the Principal as it shows a history of his sort of behaviour. I would log and document any incidents with this student from now on.

LegacyUser

Mighty_Mouse wrote: »

You're going to face problems from time-to-time.

"Problems", to my mind, entail a wide variety of things including death threats said in anger, ADHD kids doing things they have little control over and a huge array of stuff. They do not entail a false accusation about a person's character which threatens his career and reputation in this small society. If you really can't see that this is of a much more sinister category than any of the above, I'm not sure what to think.

Mighty_Mouse wrote: »

Your problem here is you do not have appropriate systems in place to handle disruptive children & confrontation.

Again, this is not something as euphemistic as a "disruptive child". It's much more sinister, and it's naive to contend that it's in the same category as run-of-the-mill classroom disruption.

Mighty_Mouse wrote: »

I presume that you weren't alone with this student?

At the end of the class when I was marking his journal and all the kids were on the way out he said it. So there were people there but they were at the far side of the room nearer the door.

Mighty_Mouse wrote: »

A quick word to the principle (warning to other teachers) that this child tends to shout "you're touching me" when confronted. End of.

Thank you. That is probably what I'll have to do, but as far as I'm aware nobody has reported such an issue in the school yet and therefore it will take a lot more for me to be the first to do so.

Mighty_Mouse wrote: »

This is a serious red flag for me in terms of your ability to handle children with problems.

"With problems"? There are kids going through much, much more than this kid, and none of them have ever falsely accused a teacher of "touching" them.

Mighty_Mouse wrote: »

This is nonsense.
Either the child is being disruptive or not.
Either he can control himself in class or not.
Either you have appropriate systems you use to handle disruption or not.

With all due respect, this is nonsense. Unlike some other students who are not capable of controlling themselves, the student in question is perfectly capable of controlling himself. He chooses, however, to be disruptive. 'Disruption' is not why I'm here. I can handle "disruption" and the systems are in place for that daily recurrence. Once again, why you're abnegating the sinister element in this child's behaviour and just shoving it under the general term "disruption" does this issue no favours. That he has issues is not in question, but so do many of the kids who engage in the conventional classroom disruption. None of the hundreds of other kids have ever said anything like this.

Mighty_Mouse wrote: »

Surely the correct action would of been to bring him to the principles office & explain he was being disruptive?

Once again, if this were a matter of mere "disruption" I wouldn't be here.

Mighty_Mouse wrote: »

Overall, either you learn to calmly handle disruption through systematic responses or you cannot do your job.

Little Anto down the back firing paper airplanes/pens and talking is "disruption". Little Anto falsely accusing a teacher of "touching" him is, to any reasonable person, something much much more sinister, something which threatens the reputation and career of a person. And little Anto and everybody else in his litigious section of society who detest teachers as "authority figures" knows full well just how sinister his allegation is. That you want to categorise it as mere "disruption" is disingenuous in the extreme.

LegacyUser

Mighty_Mouse wrote: »

What are you doing asking other students to justify you behaviour? You immediately lose authority.
Surely its clear as day you weren't touching him??
End of.

I missed this. The sole reason I asked the other students was because they were witnesses and I was protecting my back. He made the allegation in front of them and it had to be challenged on the spot for my own defence. Had I not asked them to confirm what happened/did not happen, he could have proceeded with his claim outside the classroom. Confronting this was the correct thing to do because now I have a precedent and somebody in the class will remember the time when his last allegation was disproved immediately. Sticking my head in the sand and ignoring it would have been the most wrong thing to do.

LegacyUser

Lon Dubh wrote: »

I think you need to talk to the principal and maybe your union rep. This sort of thing, while horrible, is not unheard of in schools, so there is a good chance that the Principal and other teachers may have experience of it. Have you had any conversations with anyone who taught him before? Unsually disruptive children, especially if this extreme, have a history of this sort of behaviour, so there is a good chance some other teachers have had problems with him also.




Make sure to mention this to the Principal as it shows a history of his sort of behaviour. I would log and document any incidents with this student from now on.

Thanks. I've been googling and false allegations against teachers seem to be a huge thing in British schools and they appear to be changing the law to protect innocent teachers. So that's a huge comfort to me that it's not just me. I haven't had any detailed conversation about him as I don't spend much time in the staff room. I think I'm just going to have to bite the bullet and speak with the union rep off the record and get their take on it. I never in my life thought I'd be discussing such an allegation.

LegacyUser

I used to work in a tough school though not as a teacher, and I can asure you these rumours happen from time to time. Basically you should tell the child to get outside the door and will no longer teach him for 10 minutes with his head against the wall, do this when he starts being distrubtive, make sure they keep their head against the wall ever now and then, bring them back in when you think that's enough, but let it be known the next step after that is to bring them to the office for a telling off by the principal. Don't be afraid to do this, get a teacher in the next class to look over your lot. I get the tone you haven't been a teacher too long, you just need better coping skills with these kinds of kids.

The longer you are in the job the easier it is to manage these unruly ones, but you need to find a method that works for you otherwise this will keep happening to you. Though these bad cases are rare. Thinking you have to leave your job because of this is nuts. You need to have a long chat with your principal and explain the situation, who if they have been in the job a good while will probably have seen something similar before. This has to be taken seriously and not all by yourself, arrange a meeting ASAP. You are not alone in this, some children are just plain evil, don't know what it is but you have a choice to put up with it or not.

Don't worry too much, next year it'll be someone elses problem and they'll have sympathy for you. Word will get around fast. Out of 400 kids that were in my school there are probably 5 that get this kind of really bad reputation for one reason or another - they leave a scar for more than one teacher I can asure you. They usually have unstable family situations to say the least and this their way of getting attention however warped it seems.

Talk to family members to give you support if you can, it'll mean so much to you with them there to back you up. I wish you the best of luck.

Taltos

OP - rumours such as this could potentially destroy your career if you do not handle them correctly.

My thoughts are you need to immediately report this to your principle and/or union.
Who knows - maybe this kid is being abused elsewhere and this is their twisted way of looking for help.

Either way - unless you can be seen to be totally transparent on your handling of these allegations it could easily blow up in your face. This might be an overreaction - but with everything that has happened recently both here and in the US - I would also be seeking legal advice. At the end of the day all you have is your name and reputation and this little brat could easily take all of that away from you if left unchallenged...

Also - what is the procedure in your school for allegations? i.e. Social and the gardai may have to be informed - best it comes from you than one of the parents of the other children who overheard this...

appleb

OP, you need to report these 'allegations' straight away to the Principal. This will give you more protection should an allegation happen again. Usually what happens is that the principal will talk to the student involved (and maybe others that were present) and the student when confronted will back down. For the students sake this needs to be nipped in the bud as he has to realise that making allegations are of a serious nature. I have seen this type of incident happen time and time again and they rarely come to anything. Please make yourself aware of the new Child protection guidelines (issued recently). Never put yourself in the position that you are left alone with this student. Talk to your union rep discretely.
OP, in my opinion, by not reporting these incidents make you look more 'guilty'.

appleb

Teachers-Pet wrote: »

I used to work in a tough school though not as a teacher, and I can asure you these rumours happen from time to time. Basically you should tell the child to get outside the door and will no longer teach him for 10 minutes with his head against the wall, do this when he starts being distrubtive, make sure they keep their head against the wall ever now and then, bring them back in when you think that's enough, but let it be known the next step after that is to bring them to the office for a telling off by the principal. Don't be afraid to do this, get a teacher in the next class to look over your lot. I get the tone you haven't been a teacher too long, you just need better coping skills with these kinds of kids.

The longer you are in the job the easier it is to manage these unruly ones, but you need to find a method that works for you otherwise this will keep happening to you. Though these bad cases are rare. Thinking you have to leave your job because of this is nuts. You need to have a long chat with your principal and explain the situation, who if they have been in the job a good while will probably have seen something similar before. This has to be taken seriously and not all by yourself, arrange a meeting ASAP. You are not alone in this, some children are just plain evil, don't know what it is but you have a choice to put up with it or not.

Don't worry too much, next year it'll be someone elses problem and they'll have sympathy for you. Word will get around fast. Out of 400 kids that were in my school there are probably 5 that get this kind of really bad reputation for one reason or another - they leave a scar for more than one teacher I can asure you. They usually have unstable family situations to say the least and this their way of getting attention however warped it seems.

Talk to family members to give you support if you can, it'll mean so much to you with them there to back you up. I wish you the best of luck.

No, no, no!!!! Please do not heed this advice. it is most likely against school policy to ask a student to stand outside the door. He/ she will not be supervised and therefore, you are putting yourself (and the student)at risk. And as for getting them to put their head against the wall.... I really dont know how to respond!
And traipsing students to the office??? There is a code of behaviour in every school that should be followed. Unless it is of a serious nature (eg violence) bringing them straight to the office is nonsence. Follow your ladder of referral.
This is dangerous advice and do not try it.

CardinalJ

If I was you I'd be bringing the child to the principal next time he says it. Ask him to tell the principal what he just said. I seriously doubt he'd be so 'brave' in that situation.

You have to nip this in the bud and put the power back in your hands.

Demand to meet his parents.

LegacyUser

appleb maybe you haven't been in a school lately but that stuff does go on. All you have to do is stand at the door to teach the class and keep an eye on the lad(usually). I've seen it with me own eyes, I was a caretaker for 10 years, and saw the kids in the corridor. And facing kids towards the wall is as old as the hills. I'm retired now but I doubt much has changed the last few years. Schools were so wary of the abuse claims, and that's why I think the OP is new to the game. If the OP spent a bit more time in the staff room talking to the other teachers she'd soon get streetwise herself and how to handle the messrs. You only bring the real troublesome ones to the principal. Some of them have no parents due to drugs and they are living a horrible existence, but that doesn't give them the right to disrupt the class. Principals know the score, they are dealing with psycologists and the social with alot of these troublesome ones and maybe this one might be going that way once the OP talks to the principal and gets this sorted once and for all.

Mighty_Mouse

First Off, I'm not a teacher.

why you're abnegating the sinister element in this child's behaviour and just shoving it under the general term "disruption" does this issue no favours

A problem is a problem is a problem.
You put in place appropriate sytems to resolve the issues & move on.
Its a nasty allegation, but the response should always be the same IMO.

Again, this is not something as euphemistic as a "disruptive child". It's much more siniste

Its nothing more than a form of disruption.
You need to understand this.

. So there were people there but they were at the far side of the room nearer the doo

Nobody is going to believe you touched a child with other people in the room. My response would of been to immediately march the child to the principles office & ask him to repeat his allegation.

The problem is your overly emotive response in a situation which required the same standardised responses that you always use.

LegacyUser

notsleeping wrote: »

I just don't know what to do. I am so, so angry and the more I think of it the angrier I'm becoming.

I'm a teacher in a tough school ...

The student in question has serious attention-seeking issues..... But I hated that kid from then on.

I never thought a child could be so evil and so lacking in empathy that he would do what this child was trying to do. I've thought about it far too much, and I do think 'evil' accurately describes what this child has consciously done to my life and my attitude to the job I used to love.

I want to get that child thrown out of the school and prosecuted in law for what he has done.

I really don't know what to do, but I hope somebody here could offer me insight as I would be too ashamed to tell anybody what I have been accused of. I can't sleep. I dread going into school. I'm saying the words but my heart isn't in it anymore.

To admit to feelings of hate towards a child, and to label that child, who you suggest has issues, as evil suggest your total unsuitability to teaching.

I would suggest you speak to the principal and discuss your feelings about this matter. Perhaps a career away from children is the answer.

Starokan

Im not a teacher but id imagine that all schools have a pre determined way of dealing with a situation like this. Its surely not the first time a child will attempt to undermine a teacher like this.

The only thing to do here is to follow procedure to the absolute letter and escalate this immediately. Id imagine the thing to do here was immediately involve the principal, the parents etc and bring this to an end.

The only mistake you made was letting the child away with it. By letting the child go freely from the class after this you showed weakness in an area where you are the sole authprity figure. A rumour like this can get out of hand quickly and destroy peoples lives, i would not wait for it to happen again but would involve my superiors immediately.

And i do have a huge amount of sympathy for you, it is the vilest accusation that can be thrown at someone. I can imagine it was and is extremely upsetting for you.

ongarboy

OP, there has to be best practice procedures in place at national level school systems to handle these types of allegations. This is what your union is there to advise you on. It is also your principal's duty to make your workplace a safe, pleasant and productive environment for you. As other posters have said, this has gone in schools everywhere globally (every teen soap opera from Home and Away to .... has done a story line on this type of false accusation) so it's not like what has happened to you is unprecedented.

Please, please go and inform your principal and union as to what has happened. By staying quiet about it will only encourage suspicion (no matter how unjustified) if it eventually comes out months later as the first questions to be asked is why did you keep it hidden for so long. I know you have dismissed most of what Mighty Mouse has said but I'm certain everything MM was saying was to try and help you. Try and heed their excellent advice.

I believe the trauma of this predicament has festered so much in side of you that perhaps you are not seeing things with clear vision. Just labelling this child as evil is not really going to make things better for you. Asking other pupils to defend your innocence in that instance you highlighted really does undermine your authority and enables students to know what buttons to touch to rise you. You are an adult and they are children - you should not have to seek their support or defence. You should have nipped this in the bud and the second the child made that vile allegation, you should have immediately alerted the principal so that they could have addressed it instantly.

It's not too late, however. Take responsible action today and lose this ashamed attitude you said you have. Only those that have done wrong should be ashamed (ie the pupil). What have you to be ashamed for? Why would you even say you would be ashamed to tell anyone? I understand it's an awkward, unpleasant situation to bring up but you need to confront it now.

appleb

Teachers Pet- just for your information- I am in schools on a very regular basis. Formally a Deputy Principal but currently seconded into a position that entails me visiting different schools. The advice that you gave to the OP is WRONG! Fair enough if you stand at the door and supervise the student. However in that case I doubt very much that much teaching and learning would happen. Just because it happened in your old school does not make it good practice.

There has been a lot of excellent advice given here. It is quite clear what the OP has to do. These incidents have to be reported to the Principal. There are procedures in place to deal with such allegations. I also reiterate that the OP should make himself aware of the new Child protection guidelines.

LegacyUser

appleb wrote: »

Teachers Pet- just for your information- I am in schools on a very regular basis. Formally a Deputy Principal but currently seconded into a position that entails me visiting different schools. The advice that you gave to the OP is WRONG! Fair enough if you stand at the door and supervise the student. However in that case I doubt very much that much teaching and learning would happen. Just because it happened in your old school does not make it good practice.

No problem appleb, happy to be corrected. I was just a caretaker so would just see how some teachers would handle things which may not be how it's done these days. Things have moved on. I just wanted the best for the OP, I've seen some teachers let kids overrun them and rumours however false take a toll on some peoples heath. Be careful OP.

Lollipops23

appleb wrote: »

Teachers Pet- just for your information- I am in schools on a very regular basis. Formally a Deputy Principal but currently seconded into a position that entails me visiting different schools. The advice that you gave to the OP is WRONG! Fair enough if you stand at the door and supervise the student. However in that case I doubt very much that much teaching and learning would happen. Just because it happened in your old school does not make it good practice.

There has been a lot of excellent advice given here. It is quite clear what the OP has to do. These incidents have to be reported to the Principal. There are procedures in place to deal with such allegations. I also reiterate that the OP should make himself aware of the new Child protection guidelines.

In fairness they did this in my school and it worked- it's not fair to expect other kids to listen to the disruptive little shíte, so remove them from the classroom.

Big Bag of Chips

My husband is a teacher and sending the offending child out of the room is the done thing in their school!

They get sent to the principal's office for disruptiveness. Why should a class of 20-30 be neglected because of 1?

OP, I'm slightly confused. Had he publicly made this allegation.. to the principal, other teachers, or does he just shout it at you?

I understand you are afraid, but if you've done nothing wrong then you need to get your side across to the people that matter. Next time he does it, bring him to the office to sit outside. Explain briefly to the princupal/vice what happened and then go back to class.

You're not doing anything to stop him, so why would he stop. I'm guessing he's also sensing its really getting to you and he's going to up his game! Mention it in passing to someone else.. "hey, did XXX ever say anything to you about hitting/pushing/touching him " etc.. even if they say he hasn't, they may still be able to give you advice on how to handle him.

Good luck.. if handled properly, it doesn't have to ruin your life.

Lon Dubh

old_student wrote: »

To admit to feelings of hate towards a child, and to label that child, who you suggest has issues, as evil suggest your total unsuitability to teaching.

I would suggest you speak to the principal and discuss your feelings about this matter. Perhaps a career away from children is the answer.

The kid is acting like a little ****e deliberately to upset him and try to wreck his reputation. This is no different to me than behaviour some kids engage in such as terrorising someone living in their neighbourhood. I think most people would feel some hate if they were subjected to that (even if they could see that the behaviour was a product of the kids situation).

The OP's reaction is just a stress reaction to the situation. I think most teachers (if they are honest) will have felt negatively about some of their students some of the time, even with less provocation. It is out of pure frustration (I remember a little clip from the film The Class which reminds me of this). I think that if a teacher in general cares they will experience this frustration from time to time, if not it may be because they are so disengaged that they don't really care anymore.

The OP doesn't neet to change careers, but this situation needs sorting.

dellas1979

Well, now, seeing as you are the teacher, you tell us what the code is for someone who is disrupting the class? What are you supposed to do?

If it is a case that he is being disruptive, send him out, and let him explain to the principal what he said. Either he will spill and make the accusation, in which case you did not touch him, or he makes up something else and will back off and think "this one means business".

You are not doing yourself any favours, and you need to take back control.

I would NOT/NEVER ask another student to verify a story like that.

You are putting YOUR responsibility to act on this on their young shoulders. If anything from your post, I cannot understand why you did this or why you dont see it as wrong. They are kids. Talking to their teacher about another student saying he touched them. Your first reaction should be shut up, get out, and ILL deal with it.

Flashgordon197

You sound terribly stressed. Take a few days off. Come back rested. It can be dangerous to be around kids when you are that stressed. Then document-objectively. So long as you do that you will be fine but unless you do it coming from a calm place in yourself -you will come at it the wrong way. Make the Principal fully aware of previous allegations.
Your post should be quoted by those of us who have to defend teacher bashers.

Flashgordon197

dellas1979 wrote: »

Well, now, seeing as you are the teacher, you tell us what the code is for someone who is disrupting the class? What are you supposed to do?

If it is a case that he is being disruptive, send him out, and let him explain to the principal what he said. Either he will spill and make the accusation, in which case you did not touch him, or he makes up something else and will back off and think "this one means business".

You are not doing yourself any favours, and you need to take back control.

I would NOT/NEVER ask another student to verify a story like that.

You are putting YOUR responsibility to act on this on their young shoulders. If anything from your post, I cannot understand why you did this or why you dont see it as wrong. They are kids. Talking to their teacher about another student saying he touched them. Your first reaction should be shut up, get out, and ILL deal with it.

I think sometimes events must be verified by others.Its natural justice. Especially for serious allegations. For minor stuff its pointless. Leave it to the Principal to decide if he needs verification.

Flashgordon197

Lon Dubh wrote: »

The kid is acting like a little ****e deliberately to upset him and try to wreck his reputation. This is no different to me than behaviour some kids engage in such as terrorising someone living in their neighbourhood. I think most people would feel some hate if they were subjected to that (even if they could see that the behaviour was a product of the kids situation).

The OP's reaction is just a stress reaction to the situation. I think most teachers (if they are honest) will have felt negatively about some of their students some of the time, even with less provocation. It is out of pure frustration (I remember a little clip from the film The Class which reminds me of this). I think that if a teacher in general cares they will experience this frustration from time to time, if not it may be because they are so disengaged that they don't really care anymore.

The OP doesn't neet to change careers, but this situation needs sorting.

Dont change careers and dont listen to that idiotic suggestion you do. All teachers hate pupils at various stages. Old student obviously thinks all kids under 18 are angels. They are not. Some students wreck education for others even when taught by very good and experienced teachers. The management of a school often leave teachers down. You can be accused of a crime at age 7-why do some people pretend that kids are just poor old devils??

Bottle_of_Smoke

Talk to a solicitor and see what they say. Don't think this is the place for advice

MagicSean

See a solicitor with regard to taking a civil suit against him for defamation.

You could also inform the Gardaí of the incident and the false allegation he made.

dellas1979

Flashgordon197 wrote: »

I think sometimes events must be verified by others.Its natural justice. Especially for serious allegations. For minor stuff its pointless. Leave it to the Principal to decide if he needs verification.

Yeah ok - but as said, thats up to the principal/person in authority whether they should be asked/verified or not.

Not the teacher in the classroom. Although I understand the circumstance/shock the OP got, it was very very unprofessional to do that to his students, and its doing things like this that will get them into hot water - not the fact that a student made a false allegation which can be disproved if it went that far.

Flashgordon197

dellas1979 wrote: »

Yeah ok - but as said, thats up to the principal/person in authority whether they should be asked/verified or not.

Not the teacher in the classroom. Although I understand the circumstance/shock the OP got, it was very very unprofessional to do that to his students, and its doing things like this that will get them into hot water - not the fact that a student made a false allegation which can be disproved if it went that far.

You lost me-what is very unprofessional? Im always amused when teachers are told to be professional but kids who are criminally responsible from age 7 get away with the most outrageous/criminal behaviour in schools because society wont face up to its responsibilities. The last few lines are not aimed at you Dellas but to society.

dellas1979

Flashgordon197 wrote: »

You lost me-what is very unprofessional? Im always amused when teachers are told to be professional but kids who are criminally responsible from age 7 get away with the most outrageous/criminal behaviour in schools because society wont face up to its responsibilities. The last few lines are not aimed at you Dellas but to society.

My point is exactly that they are kids - they dont know their arse from their elbows at that age. Their teacher asking them about what another pupil - one of their class - said (and a pretty explicit statement) is where this teacher is going to get into trouble. That is what the principal is for. I dont think in this case it is society not facing up to responsibilities, but the teacher. And that is why they are in such a state. If they faced up to the responsibility of taking control of this one student, they would feel alot better. There is nothing worse than feeling that you've lost control.

LegacyUser

Hi OP,

Im not understanding the situation, surely in this day and age you will be supported in your school. I bet they are fully aware of this student being disruptive on a number of occasions and when you tell the Principal what happened they will help you. Sounds like a challenging environment but for you to be manipulated like this is crazy. If you are not in an environment where you will be supported then do you really want to be there. There are prob 10 more students like this one, sounds like you feel very alone in this school because i am sure if you spoke to another teacher they would say they have similar experiences.

spurious

You should have reported the earlier incidents, do it now. Hiding it is what will make people 'think things'.
Keep a log of any similar incidents.
Make the class tutor and Year Head aware of it.


Do not put a child outside the door.
Follow the school's disciplinary procedures to the letter.
Contact your union rep. for support and legal advice from the Union.
You are entitled to have your health and safety looked after while at work.