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I dont know how to move on

  • 16-11-2011 1:18am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    So I've done all the hard parts in getting over my ex who has basically lead me on, up and down an emotional rollarcoaster for the past two years. Long story short, we got together, and when he didnt want a relationship when I felt we were moving on to another stage, we ended it. But he kept coming back, being suggestive and then pulling back ect, saying he likes me, but his head is all over the place, wanting to be friends now, ect. Begging me not to go. ect. So as of the last two weeks, Ive deleted numbers, facebook, ect and we havent talked since. Fair enough.

    Now how do I move on. I still love this man. Why I do I cant explain. I deserved to be treated better, but honestly the heart works in mysterious ways.
    My issue is, Im finding it hard to move on. Im working all the time because Im saving for college next year for a postgrad so I havent time for hobbies. I truly dont and even if I did, I have no disposable income at all, everything is being saved. My course is in another city, so Im moving back there. Also Im now home again whereas I had been living away for my college for three years so I only get to see my friends maybe once a month whereas I had a great social life for the last three years.

    Im not complaining on that score, Im prepared to make sacrifices to get my course next year but without those distractions its hard to get over him. I have no friends here and the people I work with are at least 8 years older than me, so its tough.

    Can anyone suggest any advice on how to move on? I just feel like this is consuming me. My friends from college are great and my best friend there has listened to all my woes about it, but there comes a stage where enough is enough and I dont want to keep bombarding her with it, its boring and Im sick of it too. But I can feel the sadness in me, and I cant bear the next few months ahead knowing this is how I feel. If he texted in the morn asking me back, Id go in a heartbeat and I need to overcome this. I want him out of my head completely, and start afresh. thanks for taking the time to read this.


Comments

  • #2
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    There's really no one sure fire way to get over an ex, apart from the passing of time. I will say that it's good that you've cut contact with him and you must remain strong. If you've made your mind up that he's not the one for you and there's better out there then you need to avoid him completely, or at least until you're definitely over him otherwise you might in end up in a sort of limbo- not really wanting him but unable to move on because he's still in your life.

    I can tell you what has helped me, though I'm still not quite over my ex, but I found a few relationship self-help books managed to get my mind off him and at the same time offered some insight. I've also tried to keep busy with school and such. I went through the same situation as you with my friends and was sure they were sick to death of hearing about it. So I also found it a bit helpful to keep a journal and write down my thoughts/feelings and even wrote letters to my ex that I have no intention of sending but it serves as an emotional outlet and in a way does help to put things into perspective. I don't know if any of these will work for you but if nothing else try to focus on the fact that the sadness/loneliness will eventually fade. I know it doesn't feel that way right now but emotions are ever changing just as life is and you will move on, it just takes time. Also, reading some of the threads on this forum and offering advice can help in this process and it makes you aware that there are others going through the same, so you're not alone.


  • #3
    onedaysoon
    Closed Accounts Posts: 35 ✭onedaysoon


    Hi
    I know how you feel though I'm in the guys situation...in an on off relationship for 5 yrs..on off mainly due to my lack/fear of commitment..I can honestly say I did love the girl but my head was a mess due to my own insecurities..so 2 months ago she walked again..said she had enough..now I regret I didn't cop on and get help for my issues..currently in counselling..sorting out my issues once and for all..and I know I'll get there but hell I don't know how I will ever move on or forgive myself for screwing a good relationship with a woman I truly loved up..I really hope you can sort it out and if you love this guy and feel he has issues and may work on them then don't let him go..


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