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lost virginity but

  • 15-11-2011 3:06pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    As the title says about 3 weeks ago I lost my virginity to a girl that I really care about, She was a little bit more experienced than me and everything went well i guess but the thing is I was very disappointed and even bored during the whole thing..

    She was patient with me and seemed to be more into it that I was. I am very attracted to her but I just couldnt wait for it to be over. Lots of strange things were going through my head and i was scared that i would lost my erection, I just couldnt get any sexual thoughts through my head.

    is this normal? i'm hoping not because i really didnt enjoy it and was very disappointed


Comments

  • #2
    Beruthiel
    Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 42,362 Mod ✭✭✭✭Beruthiel


    A lot of people find their first time to be underwhelming.
    Nerves, inexperience and whatnot.

    In this instance, practice makes perfect!

    BTW, how could you possibly have been bored, did you just lie there and let her do all the work?


  • #3
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Hi OP,

    Me and my BF slept together a few weeks back and it was his first time also with me being much more experienced (a function of an age difference). It wasnt very good for him our very first time, he didnt orgasm. But it has been getting better and better each time and he is definitely not bored!

    Do not let your GF know that you were bored or disapointed, she prob wants it all to be so nice for you. Do, however, communicate to her that you may not have been feeling anything in certain positions.

    If you said that bored and like the other poster said maybe she did all the work, does that mean she was on top by any chance? Because if yes, my BF doesnt feel much in that position (even though I would prefer that so I could take charge as the more experienced one). OP, you need to do some work and just see what feels best for YOU at this early stage in your sexual career, then you wont be bored!!!

    G'luck!


  • #4
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Hey OP

    Was similar for me only I never ejaculated my first time or indeed my first few times. After years of building it up and dreaming of being with a girl it can seem disappointing.

    I think boring is the wrong word but it gets the point across.
    You were waiting for something to happen, you're stressing over everything, you're a bag of nerves.
    Even if you feel you weren't nervous it's still there in the back of your mind

    Like watching a kettle OP, if you watch it it seems to be take forever but just stop stressing and it flows

    The good news is it gets better every time

    So pay attention to the girl. On your life don't ever say bored to her as she'll be hurt and think it's her fault.

    In a few weeks and a few more meetups this will all be behind you


  • #5
    Big Bag of Chips
    Administrators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 14,914 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Big Bag of Chips


    First time sex is built up to be such a huge and momentous occassion! Because of this, when it's our first time we are usually nervous/excited/anxious/terrified/expectant and anything else you care to add to the list!

    With all these emotions and expectations it would want to be something pretty phenominal to live up to what we think it's going to be.

    However... because of all the above mentioned, it is almost impossible for the first time to be anything more than a fumble and anti-climax ('scuse the pun!)

    Relax more.. take your time. Now that the pressure of "doing it for the first time" is off you, you will find you are a bit more relaxed for the 2nd time - and more relaxed again for the 3rd time etc..

    Don't feel pressured into feeling or reacting a certain way. If you take some of the pressure of yourself, you will be able to relaxe more and better able to enjoy what is going on.

    EDIT: Also meant to add, now that you've "done it" - don't feel pressured to doing it again until you are ready. Sometimes once you've had sex, you feel like you should do it every time you meet up. That's what I meant about not feeling pressured into feeling or reacting a certain way. Sex is better if you're "in the mood".. if you're not in the mood, and your anxious about it, or worried you'll be bored etc, then it's not going to be good. Talk to your girlfriend - do other things, and when you are happy and comfortable, and relaxed, the full sex bit will naturally progress from what you are doing.

    Communication and feeling at ease with your partner are the 2 main things that you need.


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