Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie
Hi there,
There is an issue with role permissions that is being worked on at the moment.
If you are having trouble with access or permissions on regional forums please post here to get access: https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058365403/you-do-not-have-permission-for-that#latest

How to motivate family member to work

  • 15-11-2011 1:39pm
    #1
    hoodini89
    Closed Accounts Posts: 67 ✭✭


    Hi,

    My brother left school at the age of 16, has never worked a day in his life and is approaching the age of 30. He has no motivation to work or to do anything with his life. He is currently homeless and travels around the country staying in friends' houses. My parents feel helpless and don't know how to advise him. Can anyone help please? :confused:


Comments

  • #2
    ongarboy
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,201 ✭✭✭ongarboy


    You can't change or improve a person. They want to have to change/improve themselves. You or your parents can however change your own practices that may be enabling or facilitating his behaviour (ie by stopping him stay at home indefinitely, tolerating his lifestyle in the home or to stop giving him cash/loans/other handouts - you may already be doing this of course)

    If he crashes at your parent's house like he does at other friends, I would suggest the parents exercise tough love. Give him a timetable ultimatum explaining to him if he doesn't prove that he is actively looking for a job or making efforts to train for a skill (signing up for FAS courses etc) or acquire an apprenticeship by x no of months then he cannot rely on them for accommodation or hand outs beyond that.

    If he is living this aimless life outside of your parent's house, then I'm afraid there is nothing much you can do as he is an adult. I'm guessing you've already tried encouraging him to better/advance himself to no avail. The fact that he went through the whole Celtic Tiger without ever working when workplaces were crying out for staff suggests there are more serious issues he has than just laziness. Be there for him in so far as if he wants help (to better himself) you will support him but not as someone he can use to continue his current lifestyle. His friends (if they have any cop on) will soon grow tired of being used as crash pads also.


Advertisement