Got Engaged Last Weekend. What to do now?

Penny Dreadful

So, super happy and walking on air about getting engaged last weekend. It was fantastic. Now though, there is so much to do I just don't know where to start. I looked over the sticky that is posted at the top of this forum but it seems to be a few years old and I'm not sure a) how up to date the information is and b) if it covers what I/we are after.
So far I've made a (short) list:

• Purchase engagement ring
• Decide on venue
• Get started on a dress
• Band
• Make a start on guest list.

We've decided on a civil ceremony so at least thats one thing we're clear on. We also have a couple of venues in mind but they will depend (I'm guessing) on how many we have and what type of wedding we want.
Neither of us really wants the traditional wedding i.e. get married, photos, dinner, speeches, dancing.
I was throwing around the idea of having a small ceremony early enough in the day followed by a really nice lunch. Then some light music and have the big party that evening with the band, pig on a spit and dancing. How does that sound?
My head is melted already:D:eek:

macinalli

Don't even think about stuff like guest lists etc - you'll just get stressed! For now, just think about getting a ring and enjoy being engaged. There's plenty time for all the other things....

Penny Dreadful

macinalli wrote: »

Don't even think about stuff like guest lists etc - you'll just get stressed! For now, just think about getting a ring and enjoy being engaged. There's plenty time for all the other things....

Thank you I really want to enjoy the here and now of it all but you hear so many stories of "you'll never get a dress if you don't order it at least 6 months in advance" and "all the good bands are booked out at least a year before you'll need them" and on and on and on it goes.

We're hoping to get married next year, we're looking at May but that isn't cast in stone. Also, neither of us is fussy about what day of the week its on so that should open up more opportunities I hope.

Acoshla

I actually think you could roughly figure out the guest list first so you can decide what kind of wedding venue you'll want/need, as some options won't be possible with too many or too few guests. So maybe write out roughly how many guests you want/will be inviting, then think what your perfect day would be and work from there. I like your idea for your day, early ceremony and lunch, I considered something similar myself (but due to how far some guests have to travel for it it would have been too long a day, going with a later starting "proper" wedding instead).

As well as planning my own I work on the fringes of the wedding business too so if you have any general questions I might be able to help with some bits of advice, feel free to PM

Dolbert

Congratulations again! If you are doing it in May next year there are a few things you need to get onto right away.

Firstly, I would make an appointment with the Civil Registration office asap. You need to register your intent to marry a minimum of 3 months before, however, it can often take longer than that to get an appointment. We are booking our appointment a year before so you get the idea!

Next I would make a draft guest list. Initially we thought we'd have about 50, but after sitting down and making the list we're up to 80! Once you have the list you have an idea of what kind of venue you need to cater for your needs. Once you know your numbers, start visiting venues right away. Once you decide on somewhere, you can set a date!

If you are having a band, they book up well in advance so I'd get onto that as soon as you have your date. If you are going with a mid-week wedding you will definitely have more availability there.

As for dresses, yes if you are ordering from a bridal shop it can take 6 months. There are other alternatives though, like getting it made, buying off the rack or online.

The other fun stuff like invitations, cakes etc can be done all in good time! Hope that helps

Acoshla

Aw I'm jealous of your under 100 numbers, I would have loved 70ish people but due to boyfriend's giant family it will be at least double that.

Just with regards to cakes, I know some people aren't interested in them, or plan to get them from bakeries, but if you are looking to get one made by a freelance cake maker they tend to book up 6-12 months in advance and many expect a deposit 6 months before. I would contact them before Christmas for a May wedding, as May to September book up very fast, sometimes 18 months in advance, which many people don't expect and leave the cake until 2 months before. M&S do great cakes if you want something not too pricey or just to have a nice traditional cake, great prices.

Penny Dreadful

Dolorous wrote: »

Congratulations again! If you are doing it in May next year there are a few things you need to get onto right away.

Firstly, I would make an appointment with the Civil Registration office asap. You need to register your intent to marry a minimum of 3 months before, however, it can often take longer than that to get an appointment. We are booking our appointment a year before so you get the idea!

Next I would make a draft guest list. Initially we thought we'd have about 50, but after sitting down and making the list we're up to 80! Once you have the list you have an idea of what kind of venue you need to cater for your needs. Once you know your numbers, start visiting venues right away. Once you decide on somewhere, you can set a date!

If you are having a band, they book up well in advance so I'd get onto that as soon as you have your date. If you are going with a mid-week wedding you will definitely have more availability there.

As for dresses, yes if you are ordering from a bridal shop it can take 6 months. There are other alternatives though, like getting it made, buying off the rack or online.

The other fun stuff like invitations, cakes etc can be done all in good time! Hope that helps

It does help thank you:) Despite being at work today (have done SFA, gonna be in trouble for that tomorrow) have not been able to think of anything but my big news. Haven't told any of the people here yet, think may wait until I get my ring,.......if I can. Anyhow, I made a draf, rough as anything list of guests and its come to about 120 people already. .........:( Need to get out my sharp knife and cut it back.

Dolbert

Acoshla wrote: »

Aw I'm jealous of your under 100 numbers, I would have loved 70ish people but due to boyfriend's giant family it will be at least double that.

Just with regards to cakes, I know some people aren't interested in them, or plan to get them from bakeries, but if you are looking to get one made by a freelance cake maker they tend to book up 6-12 months in advance and many expect a deposit 6 months before. I would contact them before Christmas for a May wedding, as May to September book up very fast, sometimes 18 months in advance, which many people don't expect and leave the cake until 2 months before. M&S do great cakes if you want something not too pricey or just to have a nice traditional cake, great prices.

Yeah I should have clarified that, sorry! We are lucky enough to have a friend do our cake but others will probably not find someone so easily!