Not Enjoying College.

LegacyUser

Hi guys just looking for some advice as I've been a bit glum lately, I appreciate my problem is only small in comparison to others, but any help would be greatly appreciated.

So I started college this year and so far I'm finding it pretty tough. In secondary school I had my ups and downs but I always had a good network of friends I could rely on and I figured college would be more-or-less the same, only it really hasn't. I started a course, which, in truth was my second choice but I was happy to accept it as I know many would have killed to have my place so I appreciated that. One of my good friends from school is doing the same course and I was delighted at first but things have really changed.

You see I just don't seem to click with anyone in my course, as much as I try, I can't seem to get on with anyone. As it is a relatively small group, I'm left feeling kind of isolated. My school friend seems to get on with everyone, they hang off his every word, and he's made his own group of friends with me not included.

It's a difficult situation, one which I've never really been in before. I'm a fairly easy-going, happy-go-lucky guy and I've never had a problem meeting new people in the past but this eludes me. I've tried to become part of the group, I really have. I get people laughing and I offer the help with anything, but in the end it's all forgotten and I may as well not exist.

I've started to concentrate on studying for now, because I'd go mad otherwise sitting on the fringes of their group when I have nothing to say. I'm still smiling and keeping optimistic, but it really isn't easy, I've never really been so isolated.

I'm sure some day it'll get better but I'm just wondering if anybody has experienced the same thing? Thank you for listening

AnonoBoy

First year in college can be tough. But it honestly takes time to settle in and find people that you click with.

I think it was Sean Hughes that said "Don't make friends with the first person you talk to in college because you'll spend the next four years avoiding them."

You might feel like people are all in one big happy group with you on the outside but you'd be surprised how many others are in the same boat. Just give it time, perhaps join up to a few societies and start spreading your social circle that way.

Best of luck and don't give up on it yet - it's early early days.

ahal

SenorCollege. wrote: »

You see I just don't seem to click with anyone in my course, as much as I try, I can't seem to get on with anyone.

Short answer: stop trying. People can spot it a mile away. Develop friends outside of the situation. Been there and it's infectous: easier to get friends when you already have some.

LegacyUser

Cheers for the replies, will take everything on board and hopefully it'll improve!

tannytantans

It's still early in the year yet so don't worry! A lot of people don't start to settle until nearly the end of their first year.

Have you tried making friends outside of your class? I made some great friends in college but none of them were in my course. Make sure you join club and societies (it's not too late!, maybe see about a sports team. There are loads of opportunities to meet new people.

Don't put so much pressure on yourself - just relax and be friendly

OkayWhatever

Take advantage of group assignments or projects.

Be yourself during them though, make sure you don't act like somebody you're not.

Sashiee

do you have a class rep?
They usually organise class parties or study groups
even suggest that you are having a few drinks r dvd night in your house see if anyone wants to go??

I was in the same situation , i can be quiet and shy in new groups but once you settle in im sure your personality will shine through and you will make some genuine friends which you'll have for the rest of your college life