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How to decline a friends wedding...

  • 15-11-2011 1:00am
    #1
    Birdster
    Closed Accounts Posts: 177 ✭✭


    Hiya looking for advice on how to decline a friends wedding tactfully. Couple of reasons ranging from money, distance, invited as a singleton with no plus one, don't know many people other than the groom, it's a midweek wedding. not sure what to do to get out of it without upsetting anyone......


Comments

  • #2
    Sauve
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 22,646 ✭✭✭✭Sauve


    Birdster wrote: »
    Hiya looking for advice on how to decline a friends wedding tactfully. Couple of reasons ranging from money, distance, invited as a singleton with no plus one, don't know many people other than the groom, it's a midweek wedding. not sure what to do to get out of it without upsetting anyone......

    If money is an issue, I'd have no problem stating that as my reason for not going. Don't make it into a huge deal, just send your regrets, saying that you'd love to be there, but that money is a bit tight lately. I'd be surprised if they wouldn't accept this as a valid reason.


  • #3
    Birdster
    Closed Accounts Posts: 177 ✭✭Birdster


    Sauvignon82 wrote: »
    If money is an issue, I'd have no problem stating that as my reason for not going. Don't make it into a huge deal, just send your regrets, saying that you'd love to be there, but that money is a bit tight lately. I'd be surprised if they wouldn't accept this as a valid reason.

    I'm being made redundant shortly aswell which he is aware of........he's the type to get pissed over the smallest thing though....would signal the end of the friendship I would imagine:( Feeling quite a bit of pressure with this one, the others, not so much. (I've 6 weddings next year)


  • #4
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 3,505 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Surely there's an RSVP card and you can just tick the decline box?

    If he pushes you for a reason tell him there are many reasons, with money being one of them. If he pushes further tell him that things are quite difficult money wise and that he knows about the redundancy. If he's not happy with that then he's not your friend.


  • #5
    Staplor
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,128 ✭✭✭Staplor


    Maybe get him a little present too, something small, we got one of those plates that you put a roast chicken on, the wife loves it, still hasn't cooked a chicken since we got it.


  • #6
    Neyite
    Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 25,948 Mod ✭✭✭✭Neyite


    Can you not just say that you cant get that particular day off? Being a midweek wedding is the perfect excuse to decline.

    In my work anyway, only one team member can be on hols at the same time so there are a lot of times that if I dont get in early enough too book days, someone else got them instead.

    Also, in the likes of hospitality or accounting, there are certain times of year that you would be laughed out the door if you tried to get a day off during the busy season.


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  • #7
    Birdster
    Closed Accounts Posts: 177 ✭✭Birdster


    true-or-false wrote: »
    Surely there's an RSVP card and you can just tick the decline box?

    If he pushes you for a reason tell him there are many reasons, with money being one of them. If he pushes further tell him that things are quite difficult money wise and that he knows about the redundancy. If he's not happy with that then he's not your friend.

    That is very true, I just kept seeing it from my side that I wasn't being a good friend, but the opposite is true too, if he doens't understand then he's not being a good friend either.

    Of course I'm going to get him a gift. I think the cheapest option for me is to get gifts for all the weddings but not attend, would save me alot in dresses, accomodation, petrol etc.

    Thanks for all the replies, I've been really really stressed out over this.


  • #8
    Firetrap
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,442 ✭✭✭Firetrap


    People decline wedding invitations all the time. I've done it myself - replied to say sorry, I can't go and sent on a card and few bob out of courtesy. I did it to a good friend of mine for quite a few of the reasons you outlined and we're still good friends.

    My sister got married this year and some of the invitees didn't go. It certainly didn't cause offence. I suspect someone who doesn't reply and leaves the couple wondering if they're coming or not ruffles far more feathers than a definite yes or no.


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