I'm also trying to find a woman I met on a night out...

teaspach

On the 1st of July I went out with two friends of mine. We went to Whelan's in Dublin. The music in Whelan's is so predictable now that we started playing a game trying to guess what the next song was. It was great fun...

I went up to the bar and ran into this gorgeous woman. There was a huge queue for the bar, so we started chatting. I explained to her about the game we were playing. I asked her to try and guess the next song. The song playing was 'New Order - Blue Monday', so she guessed 'Joy Division - Love Will Tear Us Apart'.

She guessed right... I'll never forget how thrilled she was. She was practically jumping up and down. It was like she had won the lottery. We went to the bar, got our drinks. She touched me lightly on the shoulder, and left. I didn't get her name, and I know nothing about her other than that she was from Terenure.

That meeting has haunted me ever since. I have replayed that moment in my head a 1000 times. I cannot forget about it even 4 months later. I felt this connection with her in those few minutes that I don't think I have ever felt before. It was incredible. It's not like I haven't asked girls for phone numbers before - I have loads of times. I didn't get the only one I should have asked for perhaps in my whole life. Ok, maybe overstating it but once you have had that feeling it's impossible to shake, or forget about...

Firetrap

Yeah, I know what you mean about missed opportunities. But you know, there's no point in looking backwards and dreaming about what might've been. In your case, did you actually talk to the girl for any length of time? What do you know about her? For all you knew, she had a boyfriend already. Maybe if you did get to know her, she might have feet of clay. You are in danger of idealising her.

mathproblem

Bloody hell the amount of missed opportunities i've built up like this over the years. The songs say you're supposed to have no regrets, jaysus I've got millions of them. Was only bending me mates ears on the very subject over a few guinnesses the other night!

Have to agree with Firetrap though, you'd be better off letting it go.

What you should do is concentrate on the context of that moment instead of the girl herself. Instead of going chasing her down make a resolution to yourself that the next time you are in a similar moment you don't let it pass you by, that you grab the bull by the horns and ask the girl to have a drink with you or do her friends wanna join yours etc

Or better still get yourself back out and try the same game as a chat-up line again!! Might rob that one myself

snafuk35

You should try getting used to chatting up women by doing it more often. Women do this all the time with guys who act nice to them. It doesn't mean anything. She probably thought this guy is sweet and nice because he's not being sleazy but that's probably it. She might have been annoyed you didn't take the opportunity to chat her up some more, maybe dance with her, kiss and who knows? But still there are opportunities falling from the sky all around you and you are still thinking about an opportunity with a girl that's gone for 4 months? Wise pal and enjoy being around women. They are all over the place. Enjoy your life!

LegacyUser

Go and find her! Did she say ANYTHING that could help? Her name? Where she worked? Who she was with? I had that connection you speak about with my current partner. I just couldn't let her go, and knew it. Best decision of my life.

silly

Get onto ray darcy.

LegacyUser

teaspach wrote: »

On the 1st of July I went out with two friends of mine. We went to Whelan's in Dublin. The music in Whelan's is so predictable now that we started playing a game trying to guess what the next song was. It was great fun...

I went up to the bar and ran into this gorgeous woman. There was a huge queue for the bar, so we started chatting. I explained to her about the game we were playing. I asked her to try and guess the next song. The song playing was 'New Order - Blue Monday', so she guessed 'Joy Division - Love Will Tear Us Apart'.

She guessed right... I'll never forget how thrilled she was. She was practically jumping up and down. It was like she had won the lottery. We went to the bar, got our drinks. She touched me lightly on the shoulder, and left. I didn't get her name, and I know nothing about her other than that she was from Templeogue.

That meeting has haunted me ever since. I have replayed that moment in my head a 1000 times. I cannot forget about it even 4 months later. I felt this connection with her in those few minutes that I don't think I have ever felt before. It was incredible. It's not like I haven't asked girls for phone numbers before - I have loads of times. I didn't get the only one I should have asked for perhaps in my whole life. Ok, maybe overstating it but once you have had that feeling it's impossible to shake, or forget about...

I think you got to let that one go. I mean what exactly happened, you had a brief chat with a girl waiting for drinks at the bar, she got her drinks and lightly touched you on the shoulder (no idea why this is significant,seems pretty standard) and then she left. It seems like absolutely nothing and happens all the time on nights out. To be honest it seems like basically she engaged in conversation with you while waiting for her drinks and then once she got them she left you. I mean come on, thats really weird that you want to track her down. Could you imagine the conversation? Hey, emmm we chatted briefly at the bar in Whelands over 5 months ago, I tracked you down because I couldnt forget you....

I think its time to move on, sorry if that sounds harsh but that was a complete non event.

teaspach

brigh wrote: »

I think you got to let that one go. I mean what exactly happened, you had a brief chat with a girl waiting for drinks at the bar, she got her drinks and lightly touched you on the shoulder (no idea why this is significant,seems pretty standard) and then she left. It seems like absolutely nothing and happens all the time on nights out. To be honest it seems like basically she engaged in conversation with you while waiting for her drinks and then once she got them she left you. I mean come on, thats really weird that you want to track her down. Could you imagine the conversation? Hey, emmm we chatted briefly at the bar in Whelands over 5 months ago, I tracked you down because I couldnt forget you....

I think its time to move on, sorry if that sounds harsh but that was a complete non event.

I know - on the face of it, it was nothing. It didn't feel like nothing though, and that's all I have to go on. If we met again, I know she would remember. It was just one of those moments.

teaspach

Lovedup wrote: »

Go and find her! Did she say ANYTHING that could help? Her name? Where she worked? Who she was with? I had that connection you speak about with my current partner. I just couldn't let her go, and knew it. Best decision of my life.

No can do I'm afraid, I have nothing to go on. I don't even have her name.

snafuk35

teaspach wrote: »

No can do I'm afraid, I have nothing to go on. I don't even have her name.

Every time I go into a shop and if there is hot bird at the counter I give her a wink or a nod of the head or a smile. I don't pine after her for months on the basis of her blushing in response. You have to get out more and meet other women. For your own good. You are reading too much into something that amounted to nothing. Girls are going to reject you or you are going to miss a chance because you had to rush or whatever. You should just relax and be cool and you'll meet lots of women.

LegacyUser

OP, I met a man in a bar ages ago and wish to this day I had looked for his number. He wasn't a local but not from a million miles away either. I think of him to this day because in my mind we really did connect. Maybe nothing would ever have come of it but I'll never know now. I know that I think of him a lot because I don't go out that often (don't enjoy being in pubs to be honest and look so goodamn unapproachable in them at the best of times that I don't get male attention) and haven't had a prolific love life. I reckon in my case it's loneliness. If I had someone in my life now, this man would never be on my mind.

My advice to you is to keep going out, keep talking to girls and make sure you get their numbers. This girl isn't the only one out there who would suit you.

beks101

teaspach wrote: »

It was just one of those moments.

It does sound like one of those moments, but not for the reason you have in mind. I mean - she randomly guessed the right song! That's pretty awesome and I'd be ecstatic if the same thing happened to me, especially with the drinks flowing, music pumping etc.

Given that you have virtually nothing to go on, aside from doing something like calling Ray d'Arcy, as someone mentioned, there's nothing you can do but learn from it and let it go. Let it be a lesson the next time you meet someone you feel a connection with - don't let them slip away without engaging them further and getting their number.

Best of luck to you. It's a sweet story, even if it doesn't have a happy ending

daisybelle2008

teaspach wrote: »

I know - on the face of it, it was nothing. It didn't feel like nothing though, and that's all I have to go on. If we met again, I know she would remember. It was just one of those moments.

Your obsessing and over romanticising this event is what is making it feel so special and significant. It really wasn't. Maybe look and see if there is enough going on in your life or if you have to work on your confidence a bit aside from this situation. I would think latching onto a pretty non-event like this is an indication that you are not happy with yourself. You do not know this woman. Seriously, encounters like that happen every single second. Placing too much importance on them is kind of irrational.

It is kind of like people getting clingy and obsessive in the early stages of relationships, it really is not about how much they 'love' the other person, but an indication that they are not secure and happy with themselves to begin with.

Yikes, OP. You were chatting to this random girl at a bar for the length of a queue at the bar, which I'm guessing is maybe 10 minutes? She touched you briefly. Unfortunately this may not have been an opportunity at all. If you go out more, talk to more women, then I think you'll find this happens quite a lot.

I worry that in the 4 months since, you may have missed out on other opportunities with other women because of your obsession with this one. Just go out and enjoy your life!

LegacyUser

OP i dont suppose you've chanced heading back to Whelans since then just to see if she was there?