Gamer parent

splashthecash

I want to get everyones opinion on playing video games as a parent.

I am early 30's with 2 kids (1 month & nearly 2 years) and I own a PS3 with several games. I am by no means a heavy gamer but play a 30-60 minutes in the evening when the kids are asleep and the wife is next door watching her TV programmes.

I watched the Late Late Show last Friday where they discussed Call of Duty and how games are becoming a recognised source of addiction. There were some guys on there going 10-12 hours a day gaming! :eek:

Anyway, the "expert" said that the average age of a gamer now is 35 and 20% of gamers are over 50. I get the feeling from my wife that she sees it as a juvenile thing to do but I don't go out drinking, kicked my weekly 5-a-side soccer game to be at home to help her with the kids and am just substitituing playing a bit of PS3 in place of these..

Does anyone else get the same vibe from their wives\girlfriends\partners and what are your thoughts on gaming whilst being a parent?

Thanks!

Taltos

OP - late thirties and still passionate about gaming.

Nothing weird there - guess the LLS would prefer all us adults to be going out getting hammered or to just veg out watching inane shows like the Late Late.

Once you and your family are happy all's good.

Kanoe

when the kids grow up they draw it away fro you, at least mine did. She never let me use the wii when it was new so I bought myself an xbox as a consolation prize and she took over that too, I've spent more time watching her play than I have played it myself but that's ok too.and I miss the old controllers. 36 ex gamer. (xbox red ringed last month and I only ever played two games on it, oblivion and a little bit of halo)

summerskin

I'm 38. last night I spent a whole hour playing FIFA 12 on Xbox Live when the kids went to bed and the missus fell aslepp on the sofa.

Yes, an hour.

I need help.

kylith

The 30-somethings are the first generation who would have grown up with games so, in a way, are groundbreaking. By the time you're playing CoD 53 when you're 80 there'll be nothing unusual about 30-something's gaming, so you'll have to find something else to complain about on the LLS.

mathie

Kanoe wrote: »

when the kids grow up they draw it away fro you, at least mine did. She never let me use the wii when it was new so I bought myself an xbox as a consolation prize and she took over that too, I've spent more time watching her play than I have played it myself but that's ok too.and I miss the old controllers. 36 ex gamer. (xbox red ringed last month and I only ever played two games on it, oblivion and a little bit of halo)

That's what she said.

Snakeblood

I've negotiated a two hour period for my wife to go upstairs and watch Xfactor and Downton Abbey upstairs, leaving the big tv for me to play Skyrim. As I have a small child who may not be helped by seeing onscreen representations of a man smashing another man's head in with an axe, I can't play before 8pm. This means that generally I will stay up till 2-4 on a Friday night as there's little time otherwise. I play whenever else I can.

stovelid

I'm a parent and have an XBox but rarely play it but that's just me. I'm not a TV person really but don't really care for games enough to buy another TV for it. I'd easily pick the net over games or TV.

Why on earth would it be wrong to game once it doesn't take time away from your resposibilities or doesn't take up genuinely enormous amounts of time.

Once you do your bit for your family, how you spend your winding-down time is nobody's business: be it "experts", your wife or anybody else.

I always find it amusing when people think an hour or two of the net or gaming somehow betokens potential addiction yet slumping in front of the TV for 3-4 hours a night is acceptable.

splashthecash

Thanks for the replies all..

Pro Evolution 2012 & Battlefield 3 are my tipple at the moment - (hoping for MW3 for Christmas)..

I'm sure she doesn't mean it but it is definitely a thing she looks down on...

She watches Coronation Street, Eastenders, Fair City, etc so I don't think she has a leg to stand on giving out about me playing games..:p

Jaxxy

Nothing wrong with it IMO. Everyone has their own way of winding down in the evening. You have an hour or so on the PS3, she has her ridiculous soaps or whatever.

BostonB

splashthecash wrote: »

...
I am early 30's with 2 kids (1 month & nearly 2 years) and I own a PS3 with several games. I am by no means a heavy gamer but play a 30-60 minutes in the evening when the kids are asleep and the wife is next door watching her TV programmes....

I think there's a balance to be struck for sure. Personally I find it almost impossible to find the time for gaming these days as theres always something else I should be doing, and find I spend longer than should when I fire a game up. The other side of it is when the kids get older, you have to limit their time on games and encourage them to do something else. As some kids would play them all day and night otherwise. So as a result I tend to not play games when the kids are about, lead by example. Most of mine aren't age appropriate either, FPS etc.

Never occurred to me that I end up being my own kids tech support. So thats taken a bit off the shine of gaming for me. Also my experience is that you see your own habits (especially the bad ones) reflected in your kids. So that make you change your own habits.

I don't see anything wrong with some mindless entertainment, to relax. Be it TV or a few games. That said I don't find gaming that relaxing, entertaining yes, relaxing no.

GavRedKing

Not a parent currently but when/if I eventually become a parent I'll be playing PS3 or whatever system is available.

I dont see anything wrong with it TBH.

spoofilyj

I think Its fine, my mother is in her fiftys and has always been into PC gaming since we got the first computer into the house, she used to play platform prince of Persia.

I got her a Steam account for her Birthday this year with loads of old school games that she loves, such as Wolfenstein 3d and Doom, she was delighted.

It might be just me but it seems completely normal, in fact when I was younger I used to worry about growing out of gaming...

Abi

I've never really been into games myself, but I don't think it's juvenile. I think you play it a healthy amount OP, though 10-12 hours I would regard as a major problem.


I was shown a YT link where there was this girl filming her own reaction to a trailer for Skyrim (is that what it is?) - anywho. This girl was squealing, screaming, actually crying and what not. She need's putting down or something.


Not my gig, but each to their own and all that.

orourkeda

splashthecash wrote: »

I want to get everyones opinion on playing video games as a parent.

I am early 30's with 2 kids (1 month & nearly 2 years) and I own a PS3 with several games. I am by no means a heavy gamer but play a 30-60 minutes in the evening when the kids are asleep and the wife is next door watching her TV programmes.

I watched the Late Late Show last Friday where they discussed Call of Duty and how games are becoming a recognised source of addiction. There were some guys on there going 10-12 hours a day gaming! :eek:

Anyway, the "expert" said that the average age of a gamer now is 35 and 20% of gamers are over 50. I get the feeling from my wife that she sees it as a juvenile thing to do but I don't go out drinking, kicked my weekly 5-a-side soccer game to be at home to help her with the kids and am just substitituing playing a bit of PS3 in place of these..

Does anyone else get the same vibe from their wives\girlfriends\partners and what are your thoughts on gaming whilst being a parent?

Thanks!

Go out and drink 15 pints a night for a month.

Your wife will soon wholeheartedly endorse your gaming when she finally realises you could be doing things that are a lot worse

Fbjm

The only reason the average age is 35 is because all the 45+ year old moms always go on Facebook to play tetris or what have you.

You're the oldest console gamer ever. In the world.

You should write a book.

fungun

I used play a lot, slowed a bit when kids were very young but back in the groove now, usually maybe 1-2 hrs 3-4 times a week. One of the things was that we were a bit 'separated' when i went to another room to play so i often play on my laptop on the couch beside her so at least we are in visual reach, even if not in mental reach of each other!

splashthecash

orourkeda wrote: »

Go out and drink 15 pints a night for a month.

Your wife will soon wholeheartedly endorse your gaming when she finally realises you could be doing things that are a lot worse

HAHA - Bang on! Great idea...

caspa307

ive been a gamer since i was 5 years old, i have a two year old son and since he hit two i have found my gaming time has gone down but thats life at the end of the day, im sure the missus would prefer i did something else but as op has said i dont drink nor do i smoke, she spends almost 10 euro every 2 days on fags, so yea yeah i treat myself to a game every now and agian, i honestly dont think theres anything wrong with it. what confuses me is i seem to have less time to play games since i lost my job then when i had a job

Shiminay

If you enjoy a hobby and can fit it into your schedule and still be a good parent and partner, then why should anyone give up anything? OP, sounds like you're being sensible about it, family comes first, but sometimes Daddy needs some time to himself and let Mammy watch her stories, Daddy's controlling his

Abi wrote: »

I was shown a YT link where there was this girl filming her own reaction to a trailer for Skyrim (is that what it is?) - anywho. This girl was squealing, screaming, actually crying and what not. She need's putting down or something.

That was a spoof, the original was even worse She was freaking out to the Twilight: Breaking Dawn trailer (link). I hope she, like all Twilight fans, dies in a fire.

Morag

Being a gamer parent is wonderful, esp when your kids get to the stage were they want to you play with them. Being able to use an hour or two of playing portals 2 co op with them as an incentive to get them to do homework and chores is pretty sweet. Same as on a crappy wet weekend playing some TF2/raskulls/castlecrashers with them.

They much prefer that sort of an evening then being made watch soap operas like some of their classmates are made do with their parents. If the other parent doesn't get it then fair enough you have to work around that but as the kids get older there's no reason why the non gamer parent can't be roped in with the likes of the wii or the kinetic.

al28283

splashthecash wrote: »

.

She watches Coronation Street, Eastenders, Fair City, etc so I don't think she has a leg to stand on giving out about me playing games..:p

That's an hour and a half of some of the worst tv available each day. Much worse than gaming IMO

Abi

[QUOTE=Shiminay;75464739
That was a spoof, the original was even worse She was freaking out to the Twilight: Breaking Dawn trailer (link). I hope she, like all Twilight fans, dies in a fire.[/QUOTE]

That is nuts. Why would someone even want to do something like that =/


Her hen needs to cut off her internet access and get that kid out playing a sport or something. Spoof or not, she's clearly soft in the head!

aN.Droid

I wouldnt take my advice from RTE to begin with op. Also, what else is there to do in the evenings if you are at home with kids in bed asleep? Watch TV? Trading one "addiction" for another if you ask me. I do spend many hours a day on my PC but I rarely if ever watch TV. maybe twice a month.

I am a heavy gamer though :pac:

Potential-Monke

Right, i'm 28, in a 5 year (so far) relationship and no children. I booked the month of November off work to play MW3, SR3, Assassins Creed: Revelations, Uncharted 3 and originally Skyrim but i had to delay that. I warned my missus that she would rarely see me for the month of November.

Now, she can understand gaming, and plays the DS, Sims 3 on my laptop and online cooking type games (pity she can't actually cook as good as she does in the games!!! Ohhhhh snap!). But she still gets a tad annoyed when i spend the majority of my free time gaming. I do stop at 9pm when the drivvel of soaps is over and usually watch some good programmes or a film with her, but i just know that my 15+ hours on MW3 in a week is pissing her off.

But, as i put it, this month in particular is all my rugby match attendences, all my festivals, all my sessions, all my reading and all my tv in one far more impressive form. And deep down, i think she knows that what i do is a million times better than other activities i could be doing. And cheaper in the long run.

I will never have respect for people who think gaming is immature, juvenile, for kids, a waste of time, brain rot, etc. I walk away from people who try to argue with me if they don't even attempt to listen to my side. So, i would sit your missus down, let her know all the other activities you could be doing instead of the little bits of gaming you get. Also, tell her to stop watching tv except for 30mins-1hr a day, see how long she lasts.

Grumpypants

splashthecash wrote: »

Thanks for the replies all..

Pro Evolution 2012 & Battlefield 3 are my tipple at the moment - (hoping for MW3 for Christmas)..

I'm sure she doesn't mean it but it is definitely a thing she looks down on...

She watches Coronation Street, Eastenders, Fair City, etc so I don't think she has a leg to stand on giving out about me playing games..:p

You think thats bad its my job to play games so she will shout up the stairs "get off that computer" ill shout back down "i'm working" with explosions and bullet noises going off in the background.

But X Factor is the best thing on TV, sit there for the first 20 mins of the series saying this is terrible, how can people watch this rubbish. She will get so mad at your constant commentary she will tell you to go upstairs and play your game! Thats 4 hours free gaming each weekend for the rest of the series.

penev10

I usually get my gaming in when the missus is out playing hockey/badminton. She gets her American teen romance series in whilst I'm out playing football. Nice balance:) Xfactor forces a compromise of TV rights and we alternate nights. Otherwise we watch films together if we both have a free evening.

We've a 6 year old who's stared playing games in the last year. He's mad into Lego Star Wars at the moment and before that it was Mario Kart Wii. He gets to play for 30-60mins a day usually as an after-dinner treat.

All things in moderation (except Dark Souls which you must whore til your eyes bleed!:p)

flutterflye

My husband is 28 and we have 2 kids.
I used to give him alot of sh1t for playing games - I used to view it as juvenile.
Then I realised that it was the norm nowadays for this age group.

It still bothers me when he stays up all night long playing a new game because he can't get up for work then or help with the kids.
And I still think it's geeky as hell!

But he no longer plays games during the day when the kids are there, and there are much worse things he could be doing, so overall I don't mind so much.
I just wish he'd do a sport or something aswell - something more active and more social.

Dr Bob

I'm still an avid gamer , I'm more into the retro end of things now , but I do like to log time infront of the TV/PC/whatever (I actually went out and got an xperia play, probably the best phone for emulation and gaming ..but anyway).
The missus watches tv programs , some nights I'll watch with her , otherwise I'll game for a few hours (or knock up a YT video about gaming!) .
This is all after our daughter is tucked up in bed and asleep, which since shes in the terrible twos can be late enough some nights!!
The way I figure it , when some "waah think of the CHILDREEEEN JOE!!!" type is on giving out that someone was on gaming for x amount of hours , I subsititue 'gaming' for TV and see how it sounds .10 hours of TV is a bit too much , but if someones having a "sofa" day its not too bad (just not everyday) .I'd say most "average" people manage 4-5 hours of TV ,so that seems reasonable enough.

Temptamperu

I hate that videogames get such a bad reputation. You are harming no-one its not dangerous and there is no fallout other than maybe being late for work.
But The BBC and RTE will tell everyone its a terrible vice because it takes away viewership to their programing.
You can never be to old for gaming only too young i think.

splashthecash

Just putting it out there - my bean bag that I plonk right in front of my gaming TV has recently gotten very loose. I dont know if its the material or the beans....can I buy extra beans anywhere or does anyone have any good substitute?

penev10

splashthecash wrote: »

Just putting it out there - my bean bag that I plonk right in front of my gaming TV has recently gotten very loose. I dont know if its the material or the beans....can I buy extra beans anywhere or does anyone have any good substitute?

IF its a Buddha bag I think the innards are covered with a lifetime guarantee.

splashthecash

penev10 wrote: »

IF its a Buddha bag I think the innards are covered with a lifetime guarantee.

Nah - It aint a Buddha bag, the bag itself is leather so that is probably why it is stretching....my arse is on the floor when I sit on it....unless I nearly double it over on itself!

Plus I've a tendancy to have a bad back every now and again :mad:

MayoForSam

Early 40's myself and a pretty avid gamer with a missus, 2 kids, dog and plenty of DIY projects and gardening thrown in for good measure. Xbox 360 and a half-decent gaming PC in place (in case the family are hogging the plasma screen ).

Bit hard to squeeze everything in sometimes but variety is the spice of life as they say. My wife is very understanding and she recognizes that gaming is just another modern form of entertainment and a way of relaxing in the evenings, just like playing snooker, darts or golf used to be (a lot cheaper too plus no danger of extended visits to the pub). Also the added benefit of having me ensconced in the next room while she catches up with her recorded Corrie and About The House episodes.

I reckon I will be playing games well into my old age, it is about time society recognized that gaming is a valid pastime for all age groups and not just kids. Interactive entertainment is where it's at compared to passive TV and movie watching in order to keep your brain and reflexes fit and able too.

MayoForSam

splashthecash wrote: »

Just putting it out there - my bean bag that I plonk right in front of my gaming TV has recently gotten very loose. I dont know if its the material or the beans....can I buy extra beans anywhere or does anyone have any good substitute?

You can buy extra polystyrene beads from the folks who supply bean bags e.g. Futon Store in Galway, the beads get compressed after a while and need replacing. Or you might get onto a local insulation provider who uses similar beads to fill in wall cavities.

Retr0gamer

Appreciating a good game is time not wasted for me unlike watching **** like Corrie or X-Factor.

beertons

At the moment, I lft mrs beery go to bed around 9, and have him sleep on the chair about 8 feet away from me. I can't use the headset, and the volume isn't up very high on the telly either, but I can play till 12 till he wakes up. Give him a feed, change, and bring him upstairs to the cot. Then grab another hour, with the headset on this time. When ever you can fit it in, and you're not disturbing anything, go ahead.

Potential-Monke

splashthecash wrote: »

Nah - It aint a Buddha bag, the bag itself is leather so that is probably why it is stretching....my arse is on the floor when I sit on it....unless I nearly double it over on itself!

Plus I've a tendancy to have a bad back every now and again :mad:

I have probably the same bag for gaming, and too had to replace the beans in it. You can get a replacement load of beans from elephantbrand.ie. There's only one "Top-Up" pack and it's fooking mahoosive! I've topped mine up twice and there's still a good 75% of the pack left. Not bad for €40 delivered.

Lab_Mouse

Sharrow wrote: »

Being a gamer parent is wonderful, esp when your kids get to the stage were they want to you play with them

that for me is one of the best things as parent who has a hobby that the kids wanna get involved with.

weather's crap??nazi zombies watch out,me and my son will clean up.

I dont live with my son but thanks to broadband we can always fit in a game of fifa or Call of Duty.

and yes his mother and myself use gaming as a way of getting him to do homework or house chores.And as a way of punishment if he acts the maggot:D

Lab_Mouse

splashthecash wrote: »

Does anyone else get the same vibe from their wives\girlfriends\partners

well i just got MW3 and the better half is getting me skyrim next week for my birthday so I guess I wont see her till after xmas.

on the plus side it will mean our relationship will last a bit longer:pac:

Noffles

Early 40s, playing games since I was able to, nipper is 16 and has gone off games at the moment, watches me now and then and the missus watches me play periodically. It's part of who I am and makes me happy (unless I rage quit) ...

Games are great these days and delighted to be able to play them... Just not as good anymore.

the_syco

Abi wrote: »

Spoof or not, she's clearly soft in the head!

Someone who regularly watches depressing soaps about depressing people must be also "soft in the head" :P

flutterflye wrote: »

more social.

Most of the nights that I game online, I'll be playing with 3 to 10 other lads from TiG. Get your hubbie into a clan, tbh And a few of them are gamer daddies, some even have their kids playing BF3 as well

splashthecash wrote: »

Plus I've a tendancy to have a bad back every now and again :mad:

You need to get yourself a proper gaming chair with good back support, or you'll be confined to a very uncomfortable chair in no time! Maybe get one of these: http://www.ikea.com/ie/en/catalog/products/S39825227/ ?

RedXIV

Hi OP, 24yr old here with a 7yr old, a 1.5yr old and a 1.5month old in the house and I can say my gaming habits have been hugely affected. there was a time when I could have played for hours and hours, now it's more like 4-5 hours a week. Like mentioned earlier, I constantly worry about there being something else I should be doing but I still pick up random games here and there. In fact I spent the summer picking up 8 retro consoles and about 150 games to go with them and I've sank maybe 10 hours into them since July. not out of choice but because have 3 kids will do that to your schedule.

But the 7yr old is getting old enough to play games with now, and i'm really looking forward to that. especially when I can stop letting him win

splashthecash

RedXIV wrote: »

Hi OP, 24yr old here with a 7yr old, a 1.5yr old and a 1.5month old in the house and I can say my gaming habits have been hugely affected. there was a time when I could have played for hours and hours, now it's more like 4-5 hours a week. Like mentioned earlier, I constantly worry about there being something else I should be doing but I still pick up random games here and there. In fact I spent the summer picking up 8 retro consoles and about 150 games to go with them and I've sank maybe 10 hours into them since July. not out of choice but because have 3 kids will do that to your schedule.

But the 7yr old is getting old enough to play games with now, and i'm really looking forward to that. especially when I can stop letting him win

I completely agree - there always seems to be something in the back of my mind that could be done....which I suppose just shows that we are responsible dads, but dads need to have time to unwind also..

I think I'll go for a few games of Pro Evo tonight...:P

Canis Lupus

Cool gaming + kid related story was someone once telling me when their son was going to school once he asked his da for his +2 jacket. How cool Actually tis the son of a mod on boards now I think about it.

Potential-Monke

So the vibe i'm getting here is that once you have kids, regardless if you are a hardcore gamer, you will get little to no time (that's less than 10 hours a week to me!) to game???

Fook kids in that case, i'm never having them!

Mensch Maschine

My girlfriend and I are young enough so it's normal for her. I do often mention that there's a misconception that games are for kids. That's what the older generation think but then they realise that the kids playing games back in the 80's have grown up and are making the games now so you see games with more adult content.

Games are like interactive T.V. It involves you and people need to understand that, which I think people are starting to. Games can be like interactive films.

T.V. is great relax more, games are brilliant if you 'ever wanted to control the actions' in a film.

So, if you speak to someone who doesn't get it, I'll use the film thing.

It's great to see older gamers. I hope to still be gaming as an adult. I wanna see what GTA 10 will look like

Steal a Zimmer Frame ftw!