I'm starting to cave, please help

LegacyUser

I've never had a "teenage lifestyle" when I was a teenager. I lost all my friends, and cut myself off from my family by not talking to them. I was exorcised by my parent and their "community friends", I'm not sure how to go past where I am. I'm still in a similar situation after all these years. Except worse off for not talking, or realising I should have said something when I had the chance. I hid what was happening from friends, made up stories and when I finally told them the truth the didn't believe me.

Every now and then, I get spouts of depression. I'm going nowhere in life. I would've thought when I was younger, that at my age I would've had lots of friends, girlfriends, etc.. I thought I was going to be happy and successful. I'm literally the opposite.

Every turn I take, people tell me I'm on the wrong road. All i wanted was for someone to talk too, without lying too or faking anything. I feel even now if someone offered I couldn't hold a conversation. I don't even have the courage for me to do that. I've tried to fix this problem for 2 years straight now. It's always the same damn answer.
"Change direction and don't bother me".

I want out, I don't want suicide being the answer. I keep trying and am getting nowhere.
Is there meetups for people around age 20 with similar problems?

Taltos

OP please go talk to your GP.
Unfortunately since you are considering suicide we are not qualified to help you, you really do need to talk to a professional.

Taltos

Please refer to these links in our Charter.
Depression / Mental Health

http://www.irish-counselling.ie/

http://www.dublinsamaritans.ie/

http://www.mentalhealthireland.ie/

http://www.grow.ie/

http://www.aware.ie/

http://www.shineonline.ie/

http://www.recover.ie/ (Schizophrenia Ireland)



Suicide

http://www.nosp.ie/
(national suicide prevention)

1Life Suicide Prevention Helpline - 1800 247 100