Is this 'blasphemy?' :p

talkinyite

A lad told me a bit of a weird version of the story of Jesus the other day. It went something like this: jesus was up nailed on the cross and he fell unconscious from his pain and wounds but he wasn't dead, it was lashing rain and two lads were standing there watching it and one said to the other that he should go off and use his power in the government or whatever to go say he was dead and get him taken down before lads came back and broke his legs, the dude said nah that he wouldn't have wanted to be taken down but then a few minutes later he changed his mind and went off and said he was dead and got permission to take him down off the cross and brought him to a tomb that he had built for himself where a few people healed him back to health, when he came through he was really pissed off at all the people who gave him a load of it and started a big underground revolution against them and rode some birds and got them preggy so there'd be more little jesus' running about.

P.S. I'm not religious

mcmoustache

I don't get it...

The Quadratic Equation

At last the real story is out, but I reckon Dan Brown could do better.

talkinyite

mcmoustache wrote: »

I don't get it...

which bit?

Fanny Cradock

The swoon theory has been around for quite a while. It's favoured by some Muslims and other non-Christians to explain away the resurrection reports.

Plowman

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talkinyite

Plowman wrote: »

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Sorry, it's just the way i speak.

So is the 'swoon theory' blasphemy?

prinz

talkinyite wrote: »

A lad told me a bit of a weird version of the story of Jesus the other day. It went something like this: jesus was up nailed on the cross and he fell unconscious from his pain and wounds but he wasn't dead, it was lashing rain and two lads were standing there watching it and one said to the other that he should go off and use his power in the government or whatever to go say he was dead and get him taken down before lads came back and broke his legs, the dude said nah that he wouldn't have wanted to be taken down but then a few minutes later he changed his mind and went off and said he was dead and got permission to take him down off the cross and brought him to a tomb that he had built for himself where a few people healed him back to health..

Up to here it's old news, the theory that Jesus survived the crucifixion. I remember seeing a documentary based around this theory.

talkinyite wrote: »

when he came through he was really pissed off at all the people who gave him a load of it and started a big underground revolution against them and rode some birds and got them preggy so there'd be more little jesus' running about.

This bit's new.

Fanny Cradock

Plowman wrote: »

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IF people want to know more about this then there are a number of debates/ discussions found here. Look out for any Islamic sounding names as they will likely be promoting this theory.

The Quadratic Equation

talkinyite wrote: »

Sorry, it's just the way i speak.

So is the 'swoon theory' blasphemy?

To deny the divinity of Christ is blasphemy , but your story is so ridiculous it's at the lower end of the scale.

The Quadratic Equation

Fanny Cradock wrote: »

Look out for any Islamic sounding names as they will likely be promoting this theory.

I thought most Muslims believe someone else was crucified in the place of Christ to make it look like he died ?

Fanny Cradock

talkinyite wrote: »

So is the 'swoon theory' blasphemy?

It depends on who you are asking. You wont get a consensus on this.

It also depends if you believe there is a God to blaspheme against and if there is a motivation for positing such a theory beyond simply believing it. I'm referring to mendacity for one.

talkinyite

Fanny Cradock wrote: »

IF people want to know more about this then there are a number of debates/ discussions found here. Look out for any Islamic sounding names as they will likely be promoting this theory.

You reckon the lad that told me it was a muslim?

The Quadratic Equation wrote: »

To deny the divinity of Christ is blasphemy , but your story is so ridiculous it's at the lower end of the scale.

Is saying he wasn't immortal denying divinity though?

talkinyite

Fanny Cradock wrote: »

It depends on who you are asking. You wont get a consensus on this.

It also depends if you believe there is a God to blaspheme against and if there is a motivation for positing such a theory.

Cheers, curiosity was the only motivation.

3rdDegree

Yes, OP, it is definitely blasphemous. Or to be more accurate, heresy. Anything that goes against official doctrine is heresy and would most likely get you burned at the stake a hundred years ago.

The theory that Jesus survived the crucifixion is nothing .

PS I'm am artiest.

Fanny Cradock

The Quadratic Equation wrote: »

I thought most Muslims believe someone else was crucified in the place of Christ to make it look like he died ?

I did say some Muslims and non-Christians.But, yes, this is another view. Generally both state that Jesus - who is recognised as a Prophet sent by Allah - died of natural causes somewhere in India. I'm sure there are many versions on this.

talkinyite

3rdDegree wrote: »

Yes, OP, it is definitely blasphemous. Or to be more accurate, heresy. Anything that goes against official doctrine is heresy and would most likely get you burned at the stake a hundred years ago.

The theory that Jesus survived the crucifixion is nothing .

PS I'm am artiest.

ah cheers just looked at the definitions there, you're right it fits heresy not blasphemy as far as i can see.

It's gas though because I'd be more likely to believe it than the official story.

talkinyite

prinz wrote: »

Up to here it's old news, the theory that Jesus survived the crucifixion. I remember seeing a documentary based around this theory.

Remember the name of the documentary?

Fanny Cradock

talkinyite wrote: »

Cheers, curiosity was the only motivation.

Ah, I made an edit that will hopefully clarify my position. I wasn't actually accusing you of anything.

talkinyite wrote: »

You reckon the lad that told me it was a muslim?

Is saying he wasn't immortal denying divinity though?

I've no idea if he was Muslim. Like I said, the swoon theory popular amongst many people - some Muslim, some not.

It denies two basic premises of Christianity.

1) that Jesus died and was resurrected
2) the doctrine of the Trinity.

Plowman

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prinz

talkinyite wrote: »

Remember the name of the documentary?

It was along the lines of this..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I4Z_0Hbg7hQ

but the one I remember was on the History Channel I think. It was part of a series of documentariess on Christianity around Easter IIRC. If you wait a few months you might catch it again next year.

Fanny Cradock

Plowman wrote: »

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Loads of stuff there! I'm sure they also had similar debates on Unbelievable? in the past.

georgieporgy

talkinyite wrote: »

ah cheers just looked at the definitions there, you're right it fits heresy not blasphemy as far as i can see.

It's gas though because I'd be more likely to believe it than the official story.

Have you read the official story...?

talkinyite

georgieporgy wrote: »

Have you read the official story...?

No I haven't but I've heard it: he got caught by the government after one of his mates ratted him out for a bit of dosh/ The government tortured and executed him but then he came back to life to have dinner and drinks with his mates before flying up into the sky...

PDN

Troll-thread over.