Child Maintenance.

_Goldilocks_

I broke up with the father of my child in 1998 or so when my daughter was about 3. I went to court to sort out a proper custody arrangement and to get maintenance. I was awarded £50per week, which was paid for a couple of weeks and then stopped. He was also awarded visitation. He then moved without giving me a new address and I had no further dealings with him. My daughter is now 16. He recently 'popped up' as a friend suggestion on Facebook because we have two mutual friends. I have since found out the area where he is living but don't have an exact address. I have his date of birth. Do I have a case to go back to the Family Law Courts or is there anything else that I can do to get back maintenance? Would appreciate advice.

6328

Yeah course you can go back to the Family Law Court. If he ain't giving you money per week anymore then you have every rights unless you don't need that money at all. But then you do have the rights to have it to support your child even more.

Frowzy

Is it worth the hassle?

Before anyone jumps down my throat I agree that he should have been providing, and would stand behind any woman who wants to get maintenance out of a childs father.

My point is that if you start getting money from him now would that give him a say over his daughters life/education etc...? And could you cope with that?

My mother was left in a similar situation to raise me and my sister alone, without a penny. When we got older he wanted to know us, why I don't know. She didn't bother asking him for money at that stage, decided to keep it amicable between them so she could keep a close eye on us.... Long story short - it didn't take us long to see for ourselves what a sh1te he is. One bad word about our mother and we were outa there quick as a wink. Afterwards she told us that she knew he would badmouth her and if she'd been dragging him through the courts we would've believed him.

He obviously doesn't care about his child. And while my first instinct is to make the b'stard pay, think about what it will mean for you going forward, it not always about the money. Plus if he's on the dole you might only get €10 a week (which happened to a friend of mine recently in court) and would it be worth it for that?

Best of luck whatever you decide.

_Goldilocks_

Thanks for the replies. That's my dilemma Frowzy and is probably why I didn't pursue it when she was younger. But she is now 16 and I don't think that she would want to see him never mind him having any kind of input into her decisions.

And no it wouldn't be worth it if I was only awarded €10 a week, although I could definitely do with the money after being made redundant from my job last year. But its not really about the money itself, more that he had a responsibility to contribute towards her upbringing.

He's a musician so has never really held down a steady job or paid income tax. He is probably claiming social welfare (he always did in the past, when he was making nice money gigging on the side).

From looking at his facebook page, he seems to be doing quite well, nice apartment, driving a jeep, expensive guitar, 2 pedigree dogs.. and probably living on social welfare!

It just makes me so angry to think that he was able to walk away scott free and never forced to make the maintenance payments that he agreed to. He moved afterwards and left no forwarding address so I had no way of knowing where he was or contacting him.

Now all I have is a mobile number, his date of birth and an idea of where he is living, still no address... I'm still not sure if the law courts would be able to find him based on that?

And if I did go back to the Family Law Courts could the maintenance be backdated at all or would it just start from now?

Are there penalties for men who refuse to pay the maintenance that they agreed to?

I did try ringing the Family Law Courts but they never answer the phone so would appreciate any advice before going into them.

CIARAN_BOYLE

_Goldilocks_ wrote: »

Thanks for the replies. That's my dilemma Frowzy and is probably why I didn't pursue it when she was younger. But she is now 16 and I don't think that she would want to see him never mind him having any kind of input into her decisions.

And no it wouldn't be worth it if I was only awarded €10 a week, although I could definitely do with the money after being made redundant from my job last year. But its not really about the money itself, more that he had a responsibility to contribute towards her upbringing.

He's a musician so has never really held down a steady job or paid income tax. He is probably claiming social welfare (he always did in the past, when he was making nice money gigging on the side).

From looking at his facebook page, he seems to be doing quite well, nice apartment, driving a jeep, expensive guitar, 2 pedigree dogs.. and probably living on social welfare!

It just makes me so angry to think that he was able to walk away scott free and never forced to make the maintenance payments that he agreed to. He moved afterwards and left no forwarding address so I had no way of knowing where he was or contacting him.

Now all I have is a mobile number, his date of birth and an idea of where he is living, still no address... I'm still not sure if the law courts would be able to find him based on that?

And if I did go back to the Family Law Courts could the maintenance be backdated at all or would it just start from now?

Are there penalties for men who refuse to pay the maintenance that they agreed to?

I did try ringing the Family Law Courts but they never answer the phone so would appreciate any advice before going into them.

Well you won't get a backdated award of €43,000:eek: but you will probably get some sort of backdated award and maintenance reinstated

I can't understand how you didn't pursue the legal option by going back to court when he disapeared. Sure you had no idea where he was but the court would have sent a summons to parent/next of kin who would be presumed to pass it on.

Big Bag of Chips

Maintenance does not automatically give rights or involve decision making! And at 16, your daughter would certainly have say in how much of a relationship, if any, she would like to have.

I would say pursue it.

But you should also be prepared for the contact to rouse your daughter's curiosity, and accept that MAYBE, she will want to have some contact or relationship with him.

_Goldilocks_

I really don't think that she'd want to see him after all this time, I don't think I'd take the chance of her being hurt by him.

I did try and pursue it years ago, when he first moved and the courts issued a warrant to where I thought he was living but it was returned. They don't send a summons to next of kin or anything like that. From what I can gather, its up to me to find out where he is living, and short of hiring a detective, I've no idea how to go about that.

Pity the courts don't work with the Family of Social Protection or the Revenue, and use PPS numbers to track these men and force them to own up to their responsibilities like they do in the States.

Ah well, back to square one.. thanks for the responses

ps pity about the €43,000! I hadn't added it up before...