More nervous for 2nd delivery...

intothewest

Is anyone else more anxious about the delivery for number 2, than they were for their first???

For my first (11mths ago), I had told myself that I was facing the unknown when it came to how it would and how I would deal with it, so I really didn’t think about it too much. My contractions were real mild to start with, but when they kicked in in earnest, they kicked in and were 2/2.5mins apart. When we got to the hospital, it was a couple of hours before I was checked, and at that stage I was only 2-3cm dilated. I went on gas, and went for as long as I could before looking for the epi (another 2hrs). Between the usual jigs n reels, it was another hour before I got the epi. I only had it for 4-5 contractions when they told me I would be starting to push…at which point I had a fight or flight reaction…and I decided to fly!! I honestly hadn’t dissected the labour in the run up to the birth and decided the pushing part was what freaked me out the most, and maybe it was the gas making me a bit irrational, but I actually told the midwife that I was just going to wait a while and enjoy the epi!! Anyway, my body obviously reacted to my head, and the contractions slowed right down to a standstill (and before that I had been able to feel them a bit with the epi). After an hour, they’d to give me an small episiotomy cos there was meconium in the fluid and they’d to get him out, which was prob due to fact I freaked, my body freaked and the contractions didn’t continue as they’d started.

I’ve a completely dreadful fear of the dentist aswell, and know it’s anticipation that gets me worked up and therefore thinking the pain will be worse than it is. I understand that everything is intertwined, and if I don’t relax and anticipate pain then uterus/birth canal etc will all react too.

I know of hypnobirthing, and that fundamentally it is mind over matter, but just wondering what other tricks/advise people have or found worked for them??

Ayla

I think it's natural enough to be a bit more nervous the second time around. With the first, there's a bit of an unknown element...this freaks some out while others revel in it. But once that's barrier's broken & you have some form of an idea of what the experience may be like (although knowing that what happens w/ #1 does not necessarily happen with #2).

The way I would personally deal with those nerves is to face them head-on. Put the whole experience down on paper, literally write it out like a full story and don't leave out any details or feelings. Then acknowledge and don't dismiss the fears you had the first time around...they were genuine and justifiable. Find the rationalisation behind them....when you say you were afraid of the pushing, was it the pain, or the possiblity of tearing, or the possibility that something could go wrong, or the potential for being in a compromising & immodest position...what actually were you afraid of?

Only once you fully dissect your thoughts can you deal with the root cause.

intothewest

Regards what was the fear of pushing…I’m not too sure what the fear was. I think it was hard for me to process the whole ‘art’ of giving birth..of something coming out of me. TBH, even the fact that a human grows inside another human (never mind that it’s inside me!) is very surreal for me, even on the second pregnancy. I’m not a gushy person, so I wasn’t driven by the fact that I would meet this little person at the end of it all. I don’t want to sound harsh about it cos I love the little lad to bits, but it’s just that wasn’t a motivation for me at all. Yeah, I think it was the physical act of something coming out..or having to come out…which prob won’t make sense to a lot of people.

Ayla

intothewest wrote: »

...Yeah, I think it was the physical act of something coming out..or having to come out…which prob won’t make sense to a lot of people.

Makes sense to me anyway. It's a very foreign feeling, and the only visuals we all have is something akin to "Gremlins" or "Exorcist," - which obviously is not condusive to generating the warm & fuzzies in anticipation for the event.

But that's a start, I would suggest you work on that feeling. Pick it apart further & if you can get to admit and accept your thoughts maybe you can figure out a way to overcoming the associated fears.

lynski

give hypno-birthing a really good look and consideration - i had a terrible 1st birth ending in an emergency cs - i went on to have 2 great VBACs using the gentlebirth program. totally completely worth it