Really confused... would he make a move if he wanted something?

mspink

I worked with this guy for the past year and a half. At the beginning I was quite shy around him but over time became very comfortable with him. At this time I heard he had a girlfriend from one if the other girls that worked there but he never mentioned her. We started to chat more and more, he used to leave what he had to do and come to chat with me in my office most days. I started to find myself drawn to him as I loved spending time with him and felt we could talk about anything.
Our conversations began to get a little flirty, he would tease me, compliment any changes I made to my appearance, would brush off of me when it wasnt necessary, he would go out if his way to help me out, offer to share his lunch with me and when my contract was nearly up he told me about 5 different times how much hes gonna miss me.
Anyway now my contract is finished and I have had to leave there, I found it very strange that he took the last week off before I finished without telling anyone he was planning to do so. The girls in the office said he probably did it to avoid saying goodbye to me but i dunno. I text him soon after just to say a quick goodbye as we never text eachother before and he seemed to be really happy to hear from me, telling me how much he misses me and saying really nice things about me. I didn't respond anymore as I felt all that needed to be said at the time was I guess wanted to leave the ball in his court from there.
It's now been a month and I haven't heard anything from him and I can't stop thinking about him. Would he contact me if he had any interest? I dont wanna risk looking like a stalker by texting him again. Any advice would be great especially from guys. Of course if the girlfriend thing was true I would never want to interfere with that but I really felt such strong chemistry between us and think it was mutual?

sarahbro

Short answer - yes.
If a guy wants you he will make a move.
Delete his number and move on m'dear!
You're better than hanging around a phone pining over him!
X
Edit: if you could go out of your way to get his number....why didn't he do that?

Wowbagger

Not much to add to the above, but in answer to your question.. yes. He would make a move if he was interested.

I never hesitated in making a move IF I thought that the lady in question was even interested in me, let alone as interested in me , as you appear to have been in this man.

You tried.. it didnt work out.. no dishonour in that.

As sunflower27 says onwards and upwards.

Best of Luck

W

LegacyUser

mspink wrote: »

... I text him soon after just to say a quick goodbye as we never text eachother before and he seemed to be really happy to hear from me, telling me how much he misses me and saying really nice things about me. I didn't respond anymore as I felt all that needed to be said at the time was I guess wanted to leave the ball in his court from there.
It's now been a month and I haven't heard anything from him and I can't stop thinking about him. ...

Maybe you not responding confused him?
Maybe he was comfortable in his office environment?

I think you left it too long, but if you really really like him, feck it all, send him a text, nothing ventured nothing gained.

Sarn

I'm going to have to disagree with the view that he would have made a move by now. He might just be too shy to make that final step.

mspink wrote: »

I didn't respond anymore as I felt all that needed to be said at the time was I guess wanted to leave the ball in his court from there.

As just saying said, the fact that you stopped responding might have made him question where he stood. I am surprised that he hasn't tried to contact you though just to see how you're getting on. Contact him and see if he wants to meet up for a drink. At least if he doesn't respond then you can write him off and move on.

reprazant

I am confused as to why, if you liked him, why you didn't ask him out?

He may have been shy and since, if he says no, you are never going to see him again anyway, no real harm?

mspink

reprazant wrote: »

I am confused as to why, if you liked him, why you didn't ask him out?

He may have been shy and since, if he says no, you are never going to see him again anyway, no real harm?

Thanks fir all your opinions. That is true, I find it very interesting that most female opinions say don't do anything wait for him and most males (on here and off) say go for it :-) I really feel I'll always wonder what if, if I don't try one more time. I keep thinking that I have alot more to lose by not trying than by trying.

Miss Fluff

mspink wrote: »

Thanks fir all your opinions. That is true, I find it very interesting that most female opinions say don't do anything wait for him and most males (on here and off) say go for it :-) I really feel I'll always wonder what if, if I don't try one more time. I keep thinking that I have alot more to lose by not trying than by trying.

You've been told he has got a girlfriend so before pursuing this any further I'd find out if he has or not.

mspink

Miss Fluff wrote: »

mspink wrote: »

Thanks fir all your opinions. That is true, I find it very interesting that most female opinions say don't do anything wait for him and most males (on here and off) say go for it :-) I really feel I'll always wonder what if, if I don't try one more time. I keep thinking that I have alot more to lose by not trying than by trying.

You've been told he has got a girlfriend so before pursuing this any further I'd find out if he has or not.

I will but my only way to do this is to ask him, I would never want to come between a couple.

Liam Byrne

You wanted something, and you didn't make a move, so I guess the general answer to your thread title is "no - not everyone who wants something will make a move"

As for this individual guy - we don't know him so it's impossible to say.

mspink

Well I decided it would kill me if I didn't try one more time, I sent him a casual text asking how he was and about work. He replied pretty quickly making a few comments about work and said they missed me there but he didn't ask any questions to continue the conversation so I guess that's my answer. I responded saying I missed them too and hoped he was doing well etc but nothing back!
I now know it must just have been a work flirt and didn't mean anything to him but at least now I know and I feel Ive done all I can. Thanks again for all of your comments.

LegacyUser

mspink wrote: »

Well I decided it would kill me if I didn't try one more time, I sent him a casual text asking how he was and about work. He replied pretty quickly making a few comments about work and said they missed me there but he didn't ask any questions to continue the conversation so I guess that's my answer. I responded saying I missed them too and hoped he was doing well etc but nothing back!
I now know it must just have been a work flirt and didn't mean anything to him but at least now I know and I feel Ive done all I can. Thanks again for all of your comments.

I think you should ask him out. Or at the very least find out if he has a girlfriend.

Ask him to lunch or something.

You definitely haven't done all you can.

rediguana25

He would have continued the texting if he wanted to meet her. He was given the opportunity to communicate and he didn't seem to want to pursue it anymore. I definitely say leave it. I know it's really a pain but you'll get over him pretty soon. I'd say he has a gf and it was grand flirting in work but in real life it's a different story.

mspink

rediguana25 wrote: »

He would have continued the texting if he wanted to meet her. He was given the opportunity to communicate and he didn't seem to want to pursue it anymore. I definitely say leave it. I know it's really a pain but you'll get over him pretty soon. I'd say he has a gf and it was grand flirting in work but in real life it's a different story.

I agree hope I didn't make a fool of myself but I had to know. Thanks again