Is this a last-minute invitation?

LegacyUser

Hi,
An acquaintance of mine in a golf club I'm a member of invited me to his birthday party next week - I only received this invite today, one week beforehand, and it was an oral invitation. Now, I wouldn't really call this person a friend - we don't even know each other's surnames - he said he had sent out invitations to most people but didn't know how to contact me. He needed an answer straight away so my gut instinct was to say no, as I felt I was being asked at the last minute - he did say a few people couldn't make it. I was surprised to be asked, to be honest, and was thinking maybe I'm just being used to make up numbers. I'm wondering now if I made the right decision, and would it be appropriate to say that my prior engagement is now postponed, or should I just leave things as they are?
Also if I don't attend - should I give this person a present?

dory

I think you're thinking about this an awful lot.

We have no idea of knowing what was in his head. As you are not friends, as you say, he could have just forgotten about you and then when he saw you thought about asking you. I would say go if you feel like going to this party, but if you're not going then you definitely do not have to give a present.

zxcvbnm1

selinam wrote: »

Hi,
An acquaintance of mine in a golf club I'm a member of invited me to his birthday party next week - I only received this invite today, one week beforehand, and it was an oral invitation. Now, I wouldn't really call this person a friend - we don't even know each other's surnames - he said he had sent out invitations to most people but didn't know how to contact me. He needed an answer straight away so my gut instinct was to say no, as I felt I was being asked at the last minute - he did say a few people couldn't make it. I was surprised to be asked, to be honest, and was thinking maybe I'm just being used to make up numbers. I'm wondering now if I made the right decision, and would it be appropriate to say that my prior engagement is now postponed, or should I just leave things as they are?
Also if I don't attend - should I give this person a present?

I can't believe the amount of thought you're putting into this either.

My advice is don't give it another thought and move on with your life.
Or else turn up if you want.

Do people really overthink these little things this much?

Xterminator

i would say a weeks notice is not last minute.

Miss Fluff

Don't you think you're WAY overthinking this? A week's invitation is more than adequate. As it a spoken invitatation. You concede yourself you're not even great friends with this person so surely you can't have been expecting a personalised invitation ...what DO you deem acceptable in these circumstances? What out of interest would make it an acceptable invitation in your mind? I'm genuinely not quite sure what it is you were expecting

I also think you're being rather paranoid to say you have been invited to make up numbers....I'm sure it was a simple case of this person thinking it would be nice to have you there. Nothing more.

qwertytlk

You seem to be putting an awful lot of thought into this... Is thete a reason for that?
I would say if you have now decided that you want to go then tell him you can make it after all. If you do this then, yes i would get a gift.
If you decide to leave things as they are and not go then, no, dont get a gift. A gift would only be appropriate if you were good friedns and couldnt make it to the party. So instead next time you see him in the bar or something, wish him happy bday, enquire a to how the night was or maybe buy him a drink.
But id leave it at that...and not give ir a seconds more thought!

Big Bag of Chips

I have to go with the general consensus, and say you are thinking far more about this than necessary... and definitely far more than he is!

I'd guess you are not the only one to be given a verbal invitation.. and I don't understand how a weeks notice is "last minute"!

If you'd like to go to the party, then just go. If for your own reasons you would not be comfortable there, then say no more. And say something like "hope you had a good night" the next time you see him.

calex71

You don't know each others last names and so turn down an oral invite? How else was he supposed to invite you? He was likely waiting till he saw you to invite you and likely hadn't thought to invite you or forgot on previous meetings, and on the day he did invite you thought "oh there's X, I should ask him to the shindig"

I assume you chat etc. at the club and get on etc. so why not go? I would not expect a gift from a casual acquaintance so don't worry about it.

the_syco

What age is he/you, and where is the party being held? If you're both in the 28-40 age range, and it's being held in a pub, go, see what the craic is, but if it's sh|te, leave. He may have heard you're good craic (mutual friends), and thus invited you.