Feeling depressed with new relationship

Janet1986

Hi guys,

I met this guy a few weeks ago. I get on well with him.

Two problems

1. He's married.

2. He has my name down with his on a certain website! I never gave him permission to use my name nor did i know about this until i did a bit of investigation and found us! :mad:

I find it disgusting to swap partners and think STI. Makes me sick!


I can't find the courage to tell him it's the end of the road because i like him alot i do know that it has to end sooner rather than later.

Sorry guys i just needed to vent.

Ellie2008

Janet1986 wrote: »

Hi guys,

I met this guy a few weeks ago. I get on well with him.

Two problems

1. He's married.

2. He has my name down with his on a certain website! I never gave him permission to use my name nor did i know about this until i did a bit of investigation and found us! :mad:

I find it disgusting to swap partners and think STI. Makes me sick!


I can't find the courage to tell him it's the end of the road because i like him alot i do know that it has to end sooner rather than later.

Sorry guys i just needed to vent.

I'm sorry OP your post doesn't make a huge amount of sense. Is what you are essentially saying is that you have been hooking up with someone you know is married for a few weeks? I'm not sure I get the worry about STI s?? By a "certain website" do you mean a social networking site? Can you clarify the issue for us?

silly

I guess you don't need us to tell you that bring with a married man is wrong.
But we really need to know the nature of the website to fully understand your problem.
Does his wife know? And is into this whole partner swapping thing?

Janet1986

I know it's wrong to be with someone who is married. Unfortunately if it's not me there will be someone else.

His wife knows nothing!

It's a partner swapping website.

I don't know what i'm expecting on here, i just had to get it off my mind.

I do like him alot and this is getting in the way of me telling him to hit the road.

Sleepy

Cop onto yourself OP. He's another woman's husband and clearly has no respect for you if he put your actual name (and pictures?) up on a swinging site without discussing it with you first.

Find some self respect, end the affair and I'd advise staying away from relationships for a while: happy people don't find themselves in positions like this, only those who seek happiness in having a partner, any partner.

Janet1986

Thanks sleepy, i know i'm a total idiot. He is older than me too.

No pictures of me up on the site.

This is going to sound awful but i would be willing to see him even though he is married! unfortunately me alone would not be enough for him.

So i know myself it's the end of the road.

ElleEm

You are worth more than being someone's "bit on the side".

Dump the loser!

Miss Fluff

So you've been shagging a married older guy who has now, of his own volition, decided to pimp you out on a swinging website without your permission and you're wondering what to do?

It'd bad enough that he is married. Married = unavailable. But for him to advertise you on a sex-based website without your consent is just abhorrent tbh.

You sound frighteningly naive.

And why would you be "willing to see him" when you know well that he's married? Why would you want anyone's sloppy seconds?

LegacyUser

Janet1986 wrote: »

I know it's wrong to be with someone who is married. Unfortunately if it's not me there will be someone else.

So what. Let it be someone else. You are using the above excuse as a justification for what you are doing. It's less than pathetic.

Your problem is not what he does. It's what YOU do. You are sleeping with someone elses husband. Do you realise you could end up in real trouble if you are caught. The wife could go for you or anything.

Not to mention that he's probably sleeping with everything left right and centre so you are risking STI's already.

It doesn't matter that you like him. Get your own man.

Ellie2008

Janet1986 wrote: »

Thanks sleepy, i know i'm a total idiot. He is older than me too.

No pictures of me up on the site.

This is going to sound awful but i would be willing to see him even though he is married! unfortunately me alone would not be enough for him.

So i know myself it's the end of the road.

My Goodness OP I can't quite believe what I'm reading. What you are doing is morally wrong there is no grey area. You know the guy a few weeks he is hardly the love of your life. You appear to be happy to put your mental as well as physical health on the line and when you are dealing with swingers there would be a high risk of STDs they are far more common than people would like to think. This man is treating you like a hooker frankly and you are letting him, saying he is older etc or he would find someone else is letting yourself off the hook in my opinion. Get out of there OP and don't look back.

Janet1986

Yes i am young and nieve.

I suppose i would probably feel better if the swingers paid me.

The scary thought is for all i know they could be paying him!! :eek:

Ellie2008

Janet1986 wrote: »

Yes i am young and nieve.

I suppose i would probably feel better if the swingers paid me.

The scary thought is for all i know they could be paying him!! :eek:

OP is this this a hoax??? Because if you want to troll this isn't the forum for it.

Janet1986

Honestly it's not a hoax!

I can assure you this is the truth!

I don't think he would have people paying him for me. That's just me thinking all sorts.

Ellie2008

Janet1986 wrote: »

Honestly it's not a hoax!

I can assure you this is the truth!

I don't think he would have people paying him for me. That's just me thinking all sorts.

You would feel better if they paid you for sex??? I am literally lost for words. I'm guessing from.your username you are 25 that s not that young.

Katgurl

You are not in a relationship.

You need to stop this immediately.

You need to find someone you can trust like a counsellor or perhaps an older family member or friend.

You need to find out why you would tolerate this behaviour because that is the only way you will ensure you don't end up in a situation like this one again.

Stay away from that man. You are not an object to be used for his every whim with no consideration for you as a person.

Sleepy

Listen to yourself... I'll paraphrase:

I'm ****ing someone else's husband.
He's advertising me as available for swinging with him when he's never discussed this with me and I'm not interested: I'd rather be a prostitute.
He's so incredible I'm still willing to be his bit on the side but I could never be enough for him on my own.
For all I know he's a pimp.

Where's your sense of self-worth OP?

This guy is a scumbag. He's a cheater, lousy husband (and father?) that has no respect for you and treats women like they're cheap (so cheap they're free!) hookers.

You could have a face like the back of a bus, a body like the michelin man and the personality of Katie Price and I'm sure you could still find a better man than this. The thing is: you shouldn't need a man to feel self-worth. You should be able to recognise value and worth in yourself as a person regardless of how others see or treat you. In all seriousness, some counselling might not go astray, you're clearly lacking in self-esteem right now.

Janet1986

I'm 19yrs

When i said i would feel better if they paid me, i meant it in a sarcastic type of way.

I have alot of problems myself and maybe this is why i allow him to do this to me.

I will end it.

Katgurl

Glad to hear you are ending it OP. Do not let this man confuse or talk you around. Keep contact minimal. You are young and insecure and he is manipulating you. Make sure your name is taken down from that website and he has no other way (does he have photos or anything of you) of compromising you. If necessary threaten to tell his wife if he causes any problems for you. Alternatively bring a male friend that you trust.

Also and I'm sorry to have to point this out to you but while he is doing this to you, your behaviour is not perfect either - you knew he was married and his wife is an innocent victim in this.

But the main thing is to get away from him.

livinsane

I think what you are missing is "empathy" (being able to relate to the feelings of others, i.e. his wife) Apparently it is the last stage of a human's emotional development. I think you will really regret your actions in a few years. At the moment you are obviously not emotionally capable of seeing the wrongs of your actions. When I think back to some of the things I did at 19, I feel terrible.

Dont get yourself involved in messy situations, it will only lead to heartache.

Glad to see you will end it.

Ellie2008

Janet1986 wrote: »

I'm 19yrs

When i said i would feel better if they paid me, i meant it in a sarcastic type of way.

I have alot of problems myself and maybe this is why i allow him to do this to me.

I will end it.

Erm ok I'm not sure that it is appropriate to be sarcastic given the situation, sleeping with someone else s husband is not a joke. Regardless of your problems you had a role to play in this he knew he was married and I'm not sure what you were doing on a swingers website. 19 is young but at the same time old enough to know better.

Xterminator

dont listen to the people who feel the need to preach at you.

despite all the moralising, empirical evidence suggests that a lot of married people cheat on their partners, and hence a lot of people sleep with partners that are married.

Your only flaw ( in there eyes) is that you admit it openly, and dont hide it as a dirty little secret. If its okay with you, then dont let other people put you down.

Anyway, back on topic. This man sounds like he has treated you with little or no respect. Dont stand for this. He may have an understanding with his wife, he may not, but from his actions he has not been good for you.

if he cared about you he should not have gone behind your back.

you know what to do.

X

Ellie2008

Xterminator wrote: »

dont listen to the people who feel the need to preach at you.

despite all the moralising, empirical evidence suggests that a lot of married people cheat on their partners, and hence a lot of people sleep with partners that are married.

Your only flaw ( in there eyes) is that you admit it openly, and dont hide it as a dirty little secret. If its okay with you, then dont let other people put you down.

Anyway, back on topic. This man sounds like he has treated you with little or no respect. Dont stand for this. He may have an understanding with his wife, he may not, but from his actions he has not been good for you.

if he cared about you he should not have gone behind your back.

you know what to do.

X

I'm sorry but what a great morality lesson for a 19 year old, the old other people are doing it too, therefore why shouldn't you. It is hardly preaching at her when she comes here asking for advice and I don't care if it's secret or not the point is it's dishonest, ruthless, selfish and lacks regard for others. We can't all just go around in pursuit of our own happiness no matter what the consequences.

qwertytlk

Reading down through your posts i am finding myself increasingly angry. Im sure others are too. People are actually trying to help you and give you advice and imo your just making a joke of it!
'id be happy if they paid me:o' come on, that cant be for real?!
If it is then i suggest if you want to be paid for sex you go and find work with an escort agency.
Seriously , i cant believe this thread. Your clearly taking the piss.

Janet1986

Not taking the piss at all in fact!

I do appreciate the advice i get on here.

I will be ending it face to face!

Ickle Magoo

Janet1986 as it appears your issue is resolved with your decision to end it I will close this thread.
If you require it reopened please contact the Mods of this forum.

Taltos

Ellie2008 wrote: »

OP is this this a hoax??? Because if you want to troll this isn't the forum for it.

There are clear rules regarding suggesting posters are trolling stickied at the top of the forum front page Here. Please read.

If you have an issue with a poster or poster then report it rather than back-seat modding or calling them out on-thread.

Many thanks
Ickle