Tuesday 'Uns

MonkieSocks

A drunk gets into the back of a cab, and asks the cabbie,

"Do you have enough room up there for a Pizza and a six pack of Beer?"

The cabbie says, "Sure."


So the drunk leans forward and throws-up.

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When my three-year-old son opened the birthday gift from his grandmother, he discovered a water pistol.

He squealed with delight and headed for the nearest sink.

I was not so pleased.

I turned to Mom and said, "I'm surprise that you.

Don't you remember how we used to drive you crazy with water guns?"

Mom smiled and then replied....."I remember."

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A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa, taking her poodle along for company.

One day the poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long, discovers that he's lost.

Wandering about, he notices a hungry-looking leopard heading rapidly in his direction.

The poodle thinks, "Oh, oh!" Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat.

Just as the leopard is about to leap, the poodle exclaims loudly,

"Boy, that was one delicious leopard! I wonder if there are any more around here?"

Hearing this, the leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees.

"Whew!", says the leopard, "That was close! That poodle nearly had me!"

Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard.

So off he goes, but the poodle sees him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that something must be up.

The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard.

The leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says,

"Here, monkey, hop on my back so you can watch me chew that poodle to bits!"

Now, the poodle sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back and thinks, "What am I going to do now?",
but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet, and waits until they get just close enough to hear.

"Where's that damn monkey?" the poodle says,



"I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard!"