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Little Help..Telling 7 year old step daughter

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  • 07-11-2011 1:01pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    My partner and I are planning on telling his little girl (who is a TOTAL daddys girl!) about the pregnancy this weekend.. I have to say I'm dreading it! She stays with us every second wkend fri-sun and her daddy see's her for a couple of hours every tues and thurs.. Anyway she is totally bessoted with him (as you would be if you didn't get to see your daddy 24/7) but thats why I'm so nervous about telling her : ( We haven't really bonded even though its 4 years later and I really don't want the pregnancy to push us even further away then we already are... I just have visions of her bursting into tears when we tell her! Anyway I bought a lovley pink pillow with Big sister on it and a nice poem underneath being a big sister but also would like to get some sort of record book so we can fill out together in the coming months but all the baby books are aimed at "my mammy and my daddy" and I don't want to confuse her or make her feel bad, anyone any ideas?? You would think in this day and age they would have a market aimed at half sisters/brothers


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    #2
    dublinlady
    Registered Users Posts: 1,992 ✭✭✭dublinlady


    ponch739 wrote: »
    My partner and I are planning on telling his little girl (who is a TOTAL daddys girl!) about the pregnancy this weekend.. I have to say I'm dreading it! She stays with us every second wkend fri-sun and her daddy see's her for a couple of hours every tues and thurs.. Anyway she is totally bessoted with him (as you would be if you didn't get to see your daddy 24/7) but thats why I'm so nervous about telling her : ( We haven't really bonded even though its 4 years later and I really don't want the pregnancy to push us even further away then we already are... I just have visions of her bursting into tears when we tell her! Anyway I bought a lovley pink pillow with Big sister on it and a nice poem underneath being a big sister but also would like to get some sort of record book so we can fill out together in the coming months but all the baby books are aimed at "my mammy and my daddy" and I don't want to confuse her or make her feel bad, anyone any ideas?? You would think in this day and age they would have a market aimed at half sisters/brothers

    Yeah I would tell her by saying you think she's so great and becoming such a big girl that you wanted to make her a big sister - so its about her becoming a big sis and not about you having a baby! You could talk about how your really going to need her help and include her in things like shopping for some essential baby stuff - letting her choose some things ( regardless of taste!!) like sleep suits etc - but you'd have to buy her sonething that she will need to be a big sister also... Like the book idea your talking about really - how about a big sister diary - that she can colour in and use stickers etc to all about the baby and to describe what she likes about the baby etc? You could just get some generic princess style diary and use that?
    Is she still into dolls at all? Cos if so you could get her a new doll to practice with? And mind while she's not with you so then at the weekends when you see her you could ask her how her doll is doing etc?

    I think essentially you need to make it mostly about her and the positive effect it will have on her life - and how with good "big sister behavior" she will be rewarded!
    The one thing I would say is that it would need to be kept up by her mum so that everyone is talking about it as a positive thing - I don't know the situation but that is where it could become difficult...


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