New relationship, bad sex

LegacyUser

Hi
I'm in a fairly new relationship with a great guy but the sex isn't great. We've slept together 4 times, I keep hoping it'll get better. It's my fault (mainly, he's not exactly perfect) and I feel awful, I'm terrified it'll ruin the relationship.

This is my first real relationship. I've slept with about 8 or 9 other guys, mostly one night stands and mostly awful. I've no confidence when it comes to sex. it's not that I'm uncomfortable naked or anything, especially not with my bf, he makes me feel beautiful, I just don't seem to know what to do or how to move. When I'm on the bottom I'm never sure I'm doing enough...and then when I'm on top I just don't know what to do at all.

The other thing is that I've only ever had one orgasm...and that was in my sleep (which I know sounds weird but I looked it up and apparently it happens). I do pleasure myself but it doesn't really get me anywhere either. I mean I enjoy it but I never quite make it to climax.

I really don't know what to do. I tried talking to me friends but they all just marvel about the fact I've never had one. I've talked to my bf a little about it, but I mean, no one wants to have sex with someone who isn't really enjoying it.

Has anybody been through this? Can you help me? I'm a 22 yr old female btw.

im no expert but i would advise that maybe you get to 'know yourself' a bit better, if you know what i mean?

a bit of alone time, work out what works for you, then you can show him!

once you can give yourself an orgasm, you can show him what you like!

qwertytlk

+1 to the above post. Also the more comfortable you get with you bf the better sex will be. From previous experience i know the sex is so so so much better when your comfortable with someone. When your able to talk to them about.
Try not to worry about what your doing, but rather just go with the flow. If your always wondering 'is this right, am i doing enough, should i be doing less...whats the next move' etc then your going to be kind of preoccupied during sex. Maybe get a book of positions and look up some new positions or something that you could try together, or have a look on the net for some ideas becase if you decide to bring some new position or something into the bedroom then it will be different for both of you so you prob wont feel like your doing it wrong or overthinking it.
You could also try watching a porn movie...although the sex is a bit 'over done' so i dont know if it wil be of help.

In regard to you orgasming, well have you ever tried sex toys or a vibrator? I have alot of friends who find it hard to climax on there own so this is what they would do.
Have you discussed this with your bf? Or have you just been faking it? You could also try and explore what works for you togethebr.
The most important thing to remember is there is no right or wrong way to have sex, its just about two people doing whats comfortable for them and what they enjoy.

Good luck:)

beks101

Give it time, I've a feeling it will improve the closer you get as a couple and the more you practice

I had the same situation with an ex when I was about your age, was a bit upset in the beginning because our first few times were utter crap and I was mad about him. Then all of a sudden we just got into a 'rhythm', I guess with time we came to discover each other's bodies and likes and quirks and it all kicked off.

Also, maybe a bit left-of-centre advice, but do you watch porn? I've found it to be quite 'educational' in terms of finding my groove over the years...I'm not talking the fake-boobs-fake-nails 'oooh baby' stuff with the banshee wailing and obviously fake orgasms, but amateur porn can be good for tips and tricks...I've had fun and gotten kicks out of picking stuff up and trying it out on some unsuspecting victims The best sex is about being adventurous and open minded after all. Don't be afraid to try out some new positions either. Stay safe and have fun!

Neyite

Like becks says, pick up tips from any areas that interest you. A lot of my moves came from reading Cosmo.

You cant expect someone else to bring you to the heights of pleasure, unless you show them what floats your boat, which you cant do if you cant get yourself off in the first place. I know what you mean about getting to a certain stage and cant go any further on a solo session. My solution was the Bullet. It is a small vibrator that sells in Ann Summers. Its about the size of a finger and perfect for starting to experiment on your own.

Once you get yourself riding that wave as it were, you will find it easier to know how to get yourself there without an accessory, and if you know how to do that you can show him.

Ickle Magoo

First things first, get to know your own body so you can guide someone else around it. Communication is key, he won't know what really gets you off unless you let him know and likewise if you don't like something, you have to be able to say that and try something else before it turns you off completely.

How best to move comes with practice in moving in a way that turns you on most - and experience in knowing what ways turn him on most. Just try to relax, keep communicating, keep it fun and keep practising!

All the best :cool: